Being mixed...

I really don't know what to say exactly about coming from a mixed parentage. A lot of people tend to think that just because I'm mixed and I talk to girls from other races, they say I'm leering into their race. They always say like I'm a rotten apple in a basket full of lovely juicy apples. But truth is, they're the rotten apples. Not me. I'm speak to girls of other races to (at least) to widen my horizons, broaden my knowledge and learn to live in a multiracial country. If that unacceptable, then what the hell is? My close mates say it's because they feel inferior to me. I don't know. I always feel like I'm left out whenever I'm with my Malay friends...very. They speak in Malay that I myself don't quite understand. Call me daft or whatever...but that's the truth. Maybe I speak in English too much.

The funny thing about being mixed is, everyone(not quite everyone) will come and ask you bout some religious stuff on this religion, and I don't know the answer to the question posed upon me! And then, if you go out in town, and there's some saleswoman trying to sell you some religious stuff...and we always get away from them! I think it's because they see my mum walking with my dad who looks like an Indian man...and my mum looks very Chinese, so they don't know whether we're Malay or what. So yeah, that's one way of avoiding pesky sales people. :P!

Had to go to IJN today...then we went to SOGO for a bout of shopping spree...hehe...need to buy more anymore...dad said maybe this Thursday or Friday might go again...I think my brother would know the right term for it: *bodek*...hehe!

Anyway...have to go now. 6 hours of driving lectures tomorrow. *Yawns*...knowing my monkey-like behaviour, how is it possible for me to sit in one place for 6 hours? Imposibble really! Toodles now! Bye! *Bluesy* out...Kez the spaz signing out!

I feel like cutting Alonso's fingers...

I think the whole Hanafiah clan were very disappointed with the fact that Kimi Raikkonen was robbed of a victory at the European GP. Argh...damn frustrating night yesterday! He was on the verge of winning the GP...then his tyre gave way. At the very last lap! And Alonso wins it...and then he flashes 4 fingers to show that he's already won 4 GPs...and there's more to come. I so feel like cutting Fernando Alonso's fingers now(Lilee, if you're reading this, no hard feelings ok?)!
Lysa, my heart goes out to you too, dear! I know you were really aiming for another double celebration yesterday. But it wasn't meant to be...sorry love. Still, hail Liverpool, the new kings of Europe, huh Lysa? *Whee*...

It's not like my family's a bunch of McLaren Mercedes fans or what. Me and my dad yes...my brother, well I think he's on McLaren's side. My mum? Don't ask...she just watches it and for all I know she doesn't support Ferrari. Oh well, there's something we all can agree on. Unlike football.

During the wedding, my mum called and I went to answer it in the rain. I couldn't hear what she was saying...but when I could finally hear her...this is what I heard(or so I thought):

*Good morning...ni nenek ni...how are you? Ni nenek ni...cakaplah dengan nenek...*

At this point of time I heard my mum's and my aunt's voice saying this:

*Nenek wants to talk to you...why don't you want to talk to her?*

And at this moment, I panicked and ended the call. Then I called back, and to my relief, it WAS my mum.

I never thought I would ever imagine things like this would happen to me. I was freaked to the core of my bones. Scary! I actually thought my grandmother tried contacting me from the other realm! Spooky or just merely my imagination?

Hopefully, this weekend we can go watch Madagascar...I really love Mort, the little big-eyed lemur...I love things with big eyes. They're so lovable and adorable! Also cute and fluffy! Hehe...Still think I have to buy clothes, shoes, jewellery, CDs, and books...hell yeah I'm a shopaholic! Oops...heaven yeah, I'm a shopaholic! :P

See you lovely people around soon...muax! Love always...

Ann @ Kezzie de Spazzie signing out! *Bluesy* loves you all (and Mort) so much!

Driving test...

Yes people, I passed my driving test! *Whee*...after the test, my dad sent me to Cik Junaidah's wedding. I got the directions from her yesterday...and we were already there...then we didn't know were Jalan 8 was...and we asked the shopkeeper where it was. And that bloody fool(forgive me for the language) said this to my dad:

*Aku pun tak tahulah bang*

And the lady was worse.

*Jalan 8 depan sana je bang. Masuk sini, pusing sini. Situ Jalan 8.*

After much senseless driving around, I called Jerry and asked her for the directions. I guessed as much it was directly behind the row of shops where we asked for directions! Stupid...and it was bad enough it was raining cats and dogs, the seats were wet...saw Jerry, Sham, Jho, Kalai (5A and 5B), Veena, Thilaga, Yee Leng, Ranji, Dylla, Sally and Vitya. Met Aqilah and Liyana(I haven't met her in 6 years already! She still is pretty much the same as before!). I think I'm the one who has changed tremendously from my primary schooling years to now. Anyone reading this who knew me from way back in primary would know how I was then. We were laughing like mad like we used to do back in 5 Anggerik. Miss the days...so right now, we're waiting for our weddings...too young!

The red jersey theory actually worked for Arsenal and Liverpool...hmm, I wonder whether Chelsea should go red as well...

Oh well, got to get going, and soon for my next lessons I have to drive a Proton Saga and a Kancil...

I think that Kancil and motorcycles should be banned from this country...so should other cars with big, fat bulky rear ends! =P

Cheers...Kez @ Ann...

Hail the new kings of Europe!

Salute the new kings of Europe...LIVERPOOL!

Liverpool!

I know that by now everyone knows that Liverpool won the most coveted trophy in Europe, the Champions League trophy, yesterday beating AC Milan on penalties. My brother was over the moon. I am glad for Liverpool and their fans. Congratulations...

For Liverpool to make an amazing comeback like that, it's unbelievable! They were trailing 3-0 at half time...and in 6 minutes, they scored three amazing goals. Miera and I called it *the 6 minutes of madness*. She was in Istanbul with Jen, Eliza, Charlie, Christy and Koji. I wonder why didn't Lysa go? She loves Liverpool! Oh well...I really admire Jamie Carragher's fighting spirit. Despite suffering from cramps, he continued to play on for Liverpool in their victorious win over the much hailed AC Milan. I'm rather surprised that Andriy Shevchenko missed his penalty. Considering he's the European Footballer of the Year 2004. Like what everyone will tell me...*The ball is round, Ann. Anything can happen...*. I have to admit, Steven Gerrard's header was amazing. And seeing Xabi Alonso score after the ball rebounded off Dida's hand reminded me of Claude Makelele's goal against Charlton. A lot of people thought I supported AC Milan since Liverpool beat Chelsea to be in the finals. Truth is, I supported Liverpool since I believe they had what it takes to beat AC Milan. Really felt happy for Jen though. At half time, she told me she received a lot of 'condolence messages' from her family(Manchester United die-hard fans) since they were trailing 3-0. In the end, she got so mad, she sent them this message:

Liverpool 3 AC Milan 3. Liverpool win 3-2 on penalties. Next time, watch the match till the end, then send me 'condolence messages'.

Poor girl...I knew how she felt. But since Liverpool won, she has been over the moon. Oh well, I wonder what Mourinho will say seeing that Liverpool won the trophy he won last year with FC Porto. Funny really he didn't make any comment like what he said about Spurs defending too much, when we saw Liverpool also defending too much!

"I am frustrated because there is only one team that played to win and the other just not to concede goals," said Mourinho. "They had a header and then defended, they didn't play football they brought the bus and left the bus in front of the goal as we say in my country."

And he'd better say that Chelsea lost to the better team. It was nice to see an English side to lift the trophy again. Hopefully next year, it'll be Chelsea's turn to lift it. Nice to see Gerrard lifting it. Hopefully John Terry will lift it next year. =P...no harm in dreaming what? Congrats Liverpool once again! To my brother, Jen, Lysa, and other Liverpool fans reading this...I salute you all. Muax!

My mum didn't let me stay up to match the match! Cruel! But she had to go to HUKM and UH to give her blood sample and take her medications respectively. If it weren't for her, I would have stayed up till 6 a.m. and slept till 12 p.m.! I could've sworn I slept in the University Hospital. So sleepy...and I was so hungry I ate at Delifrance...a tuna sandwich and iced milo! Then we ate at this restaurant in Brickfields (not AJ Laris)...I so didn't want to eat, but my dad asked me to eat. Oh well, then since I felt so full, I skipped dinner. My dad thinks I'm suffering from malnutrition or something. He thinks I'm going to get ill or something if I don't eat. And now he thinks that I might be suffering from diabetes or something. Since my brother did his blood test in Tawakal Hospital 2 years ago. And his sugar level was the borderline case. And now he wants the both of us to go for a full blood test. It's not enough I hate needles and I hate blood, he wants me to go for a blood test? Cruel! And I already know I'm anaemic, I don't have to go for a blood test. Oh well one of these days I have to go for it.

Carrie is the new American Idol...was really hoping Bo Bice to win. It was a stiff competition anyway. But Bo is going to record an album with Clive Davis. So I think he'll outsell Carrie. Nice to see Anwar Robinson again...his smile can melt any girls heart. Ahh...Malaysian Idol is going to start today...it's actually fun to make fun of people. Hope we can find some hopefuls that are actually qualified to be called an Idol. Played football again today for 10 minutes since it was drizzling...scored a goal. I know I'm still Frank Lampard (Sentul's female version really).

Anyway I have to go now. Cheers and much love from Ann!

Oh yeah...to my brother if you're reading this:

*Liverpool won! 21 years later Liverpool are champs again! Amazing comeback...YOU'LL NEVER WALK ALONE!*

Hehe...let's go irritate ma after this...since MU ended up trophyless this season! :P

Pai seh la u nie...

As I said earlier, I was supposed to go for my driving test today right? But it has been postponed to Sunday the 29th! Since the computers have suffered from a breakdown (mental or emotional, I have no clue). So now I'm supposed to go on Sunday. I was doing the mock test and this guy who did it earlier was standing behind me and was giving me the wrong answers. Argh...so irritating! I did the test twice...the first time I did it I scored 96% (which means, out of 50 questions, I answered 2 wrongly). The second one I did, I scored 98%...hehe. Was aiming for 100% though. Anyway I still have to study the damn book again. *Sighs*.

Navee called me today and asked me for help in creating a poem. Man, my creative sparks have run completely dry! But I tried my level best to help my friend. Will post that poem (whatever you prefer calling it!) later. Found out that Cik Junaidah will be Pn. Junaidah soon...on the 29th of May, 2005 and she'd like the ex-5A 2004 girls to come for her wedding. The girls are planning something...but they haven't informed me anything yet. Shoot, my driving test is on Sunday. Hope I can make it for the wedding(that is if I get to go!).

I'm staying up for the Liverpool-AC Milan tie later in the morning. Rooting for Liverpool, I am. Sorry, that was an attempt to speak like Yoda. Might be going out tomorrow...where? I know not!

Remember I mentioned about my cousin's wedding in September? Turns out now we have to go to the hotel reception as well! And my cousin said that my mum might have to go to Penang. My mum said that if we DO go to Penang, my parents will attend the reception held in the groom's place and I have to stay in the hotel with my brother. And then later we can go on a vacation. Weird. So now I have to make three outfits for the wedding since I don't have any outfit in the required colours! Light green/hijau pucuk pisang for the *nikah* ceremony (09.09.2005), light blue for the *bersanding* ceremony(10.09.2005), and maroon for the hotel reception (17.09.2005). I don't think the colours match my skin (since I'm dark), but at least they didn't ask for pink! If they had, I might not go for the wedding :P...the bright side is that I don't have to make new clothes for Raya Aidilfitri...damn, was looking forward to make a dark purple kebaya! But then again, it'll be a waste if I make the outfits if I go to UIA and they do not allow me to attend the wedding...so I must wait till the 21st of June, 2005 to know whether I am accepted into UIA...and yes, to make the three outfits. Hmm...now I have to find matching jewelleries and shoes...blame me for being vain! And we must get the exact colour of the materials for our outfits. And now the colour chart is in Mak Su's place...must go get it some time soon. It will look so weird that we have to wear outfits of the same colour...it will look like uniforms (just when I was in the transition of throwing my school uniforms out...bah!). Cute thing is...my cousin calls me *small girl*. Yeah...small girl with a big mouth. Haha...

Off to bed, I will go now...I so suck at being Yoda...someone please teach me on how to speak Yoda! Hehe...merci beaucoup.

I have this current urge to laugh at things right now: pictures of certain people that really ought to be laughed at, and my stupidity. I told Miera that *all those who eat pork eat babi*. *Blinks*...I so can't believe I said that. I can act really retarded at times...my talent I guess.

Haha...

My dad is so cute. He was reading the JPJ course book and translated the book from Malay to English. And I think his Malay is improving. Yay! But then some of the things in there he didn't quite understand and I had to explain to him. Haha...we had to gout yesterday and we decided to have lunch outside. My dad decided that we should go to Brickfields and eat. We haven't been to Brickfields for quite some time already (I think the last time I went there was in 2003 to the Buddhist Temple). I certainly am not very familiar with any restaurants there. So we were there hunting for a Malay restaurant there. We spotted one and we went in. It had this usual nasi campur thing and a few fried stuff here and there. I really don't fancy eating nasi campur. And my dad asked my mum to ask whether they had Sago Gula Melaka. And they said no. So we left. Since we couldn't find this particular Malay restaurant that SELLS Sago Gula Melaka, we decided to go to Ampang and eat. That was until the parking attendant told us that there was a Malay restaurant nearby the place we parked our car. So we went in and this time my dad asked the owner bout it. And yes, THAT was the restaurant! So we had lunch there. But they had no sago that day. =(...and that restaurant is going to be featured on the programme *Jalan-Jalan Cari Makan* on TV3 on the 25th of June 2005. The food was good. They had all this classical Malay songs...it was cool! Can't blog for so long since mum gave me a one hour limit for the Internet usage. And I have to sutdy for my driving test...which is on TOMORROW! Wish me luck! See you guys around! *Ann Bluesy out!*

Arsenal were just plain lucky...

Arsenal were just plain lucky to win. I'm sure that this is what Arsene Wenger would have thought when his side lifted the FA Cup for the 10th time. Seriously if you watched the match (I got to watch the match since my dad asked me *Where are we going to watch football tomorrow?*. I seriously never thought I'd get to watch it since I hadn't been thinking bout it AT ALL!), you would say the same thing. Manchester United were dominating the whole game. I seriously don't know what was wrong with Ruud van Nilsterooy anyway. He had great opportunities to score goals and what does he do? He blows it!!! Real dummy. And that Cristiano Ronaldo...can I say a few darn things about him (of course I can, it's my blog!)? He runs like a crab, I don't fancy his footwork and how he outwits the defenders (I fancy Joe Cole's footwork...hail the mighty Joe Cole!), I think he's gay, he always thinks like he's some macho hotshot that sometimes I wished someone would just buy me a plane ticket to Manchester so that I can kill him personally, and I hate the way he fakes injury when someone tries to get the ball from him. Yesterday, Reyes was trying to get the ball from him and somehow Ronaldo falls down and clutches his face. I created my own dialogue for this scene. It goes a little bit like this:

*Oh no! You scratched my face...my beautiful gay-like face. I will make you pay for it!*

And the referee gives Reyes a yellow card. I was like *Screw you damn Ronaldo, I'll kill you if you come here!*. Rooney as usual was at his cursing best. In the 28th minute United (or so they thought) were in the lead. A goal from Rio Ferdinand (Miera, did you see him cry? It was priceless...his nose looked like a ripe tomato!). I think it was offside. I am seriously telling you that I think the referee was bribed by United. Paul Scholes brings down Reyes and he just says it's nothing. My dad told me that the referee told Rooney when he commited a foul, that he would give Rooney a penalty if he was fouled by someone. Haha. It's the first time in the FA Cup history that the winner was based on the penalty shoot out. It was unfortunate for Paul Scholes to miss his penalty. I'd have to say that Jens Lehmann should have been voted as the man of the match. Not that bloody Wayne Rooney! He saved a lot of great goals. Roy Carroll is indeed a lot of fun to watch especially during the penalty shoot out. The way he jumps and mucks about in the goalpost makes you feel like laughing. The moment I saw Paul Scholes shot was blocked by Lehmann, that's when I said Arsenal are going to win this. And surely enough, when Vieira took his shot, the title was theirs to keep. Ronaldo has tasted two defeats in a final in the 2004/2005 campaign. Once in the Euro 2004 against Greece and the other in yesterday's FA Cup final against Arsenal. Serves that gay guy right. And ironically, the two players who were reported being 'tapped up' by Chelsea, Ashley Cole and Rio Ferdinand were playing in yesterday's match.

I told my dad that Frank Lampard's house had been robbed. The burglars stole his two cars, his computer and his TV. Most of it had been retrieved. My dad said *They should have robbed his legs as well*. And they stole his boots. And now he's urging the thieves to give his boots back. Poor boy!

Noticed something really weird. The Manchester United players were wearing black. The fans of the club were wearing black to mark the demise since the takeover by the American tycoon, Malcolm Glazer. And they lost. So they wore black to mark the death of the club and to mark their loss? Hmm...interesting. All I can say is...*Innalillah* to MU fans who are actually reading this. So Manchester United end up trophyless this season. Wait till next year, Manchester United. And I read the article on how the colour red influences players wearing it to do well...hmm...wonder if Arsenal used this fact to their advantage? If Liverpool wore red on Thursday morning, I wonder if they'll win? Fingers crossed.

Rio Ferdinand. Came from West Ham.Then to Bournemouth. Then back to West Ham. Went to Leeds United. Now in Manchester United.

Frank Lampard. Came from West Ham. Then to Swansea. Then back to West Ham. Now in Chelsea.

Look who's more successful now?

Arsenal were just plain lucky to win. That's all there is to it.

Just re-quoting what Arsene Wenger said about Liverpool being in the finals of the Champions League. Bless Liverpool. I want them to win! *Bluesy Ann* out!

And for God's sake, will everyone stop complaining about Chelsea's riches? We're not *financially doped* like what that Wenger says. For once I supported Arsenal to irk my fellowhood of MU fans, and this is what you do to me? Ungrateful man. Je ne regrette rien. That's all I have to say!

You crazy robbers!

To the robbers that got away with his boots, please return it to its rightful owner, Frank Lampard.

The best there is!

The team that defied many sceptical views imposed upon them...especially Ronaldinho.

Wonder what Ronaldinho is thinking right now? He once arrogantly said that no English team will make it through the quarterfinals or even to the finals since they're not the cream of the crop in Europe. Guess he really ate his vicious words that it even caused him a stomach flu! Haha...Chelsea FC is the best team you'll find on Earth. They may not be in the finals, but they've shown a lot of them who have been sceptical of them on how far they've come. Bless them! Love them Blues...*Bluesy* out!

Candid shot of the 5 A girls...

I wasn't in this pic...since I was busy taking the pic! Funny pic I'd say. To my fellow 5 Anggerikians reading this, don't come and kill me right now for putting this pic up! :P

Hehe...

I'm crazy I know...been uploading pictures like nobody's business. Just trying out the picture posting stuff. Just testing, 1...2...3...! :P

Bluesy out! Much love...Rowena!

One love is all we need!

Class 5 Anggerik of 2004...incredibly blessed with a rather *muhibbah* class...thanks for all the help, tears, and laughter we've had together, girls! Miss you all always!

Most of the 5 A crew are in Setapak High School doing their Form 6. Must be having a blast. Missing them already =(...good luck girls...Since I won't be seeing you guys anytime soon!

My current obsession...

Juan Pablo Raba...won't be seeing him anymore(except in dreams I guess?). Mi Gorda Bella's ending is tomorrow. =(

The INNOCENT ONE...

Me...as innocent as I could be...who knew I could such a *kecoh* girl now?

Blue butterfly...

Love this pic...don't know why but I just do!

Going...

I just got my *surat tawaran* for Form 6 in Setapak High School. An offer to go into the Science stream. Mum said that I shouldn't go into Science stream if I wanted to do Form 6 since my Science subjects all *cukup makan* only. The registration is today, and I got the letter today. They sent it for posting yesterday. So weird. Anyway I'm not going. So why worry on how weird it is? I'm fasting today. One thing is to *ganti* the days I didn't fast during the fasting month. Another thing is to fulfil my vow I pledged for the last two years. The ultimate reason is that I need to lose weight. I think I look the same, but only a little flabbier. Heaven yes, I am! I'm still 49 kg...but I want to be 45 kg at least. Not to look like a beanpole like Peter Crouch or something. Just to be on the safe side. I can't look like a midget standing next to my brother. Wait, I am midget if I stand next to him. Argh...I hate people with long legs. Especially my brother! :P

Anyway, I got to run now...busy day from 3-5 today. Busy TV watching sessions. To Mum With Love and Mi Gorda Bella are on. See you guys soon ok?

Much love,

Ann...

Hey...I hate myself...

I'm really bummed again...knowing people that I've had spats with recently or sometime ago are doing something(studying really!). I keep seeing myself doing nothing and end up being somewhat useless in life. I mean, since this person is studying in this great college. So-and-so's daughter studying this subject here. Sometimes I wonder...people that don't have the substantial amount of money to study can actually afford to go to this really swanky college that costs a bomb. I think I'm going to get bombarded/*bambu-ed* with awfully horrible things from my family/friends if I decide to go on lamenting of my life. Sigh...I really wished Roman will sponsor my studies. High hopes, Ann...high hopes!

I couldn't update yesterday since I was eager to watch The Apprentice season 3. Anyway, I had a long nap yesterday, went to sleep at 4 p.m. and woke up at around 6.15 p.m., the time my mum told me Malvin came by to return my *baju kurungs*. She gave me a gift...a pair of earrings! Malvin, if you're reading this by any chance right now, thank you so much for the earrings! They're lovely! I've been on an earring drought for three months already! Thanks girl, it really made my day!

Sad to inform you guys that Norwich City, Southampton, and Crystal Palace have been relegated. West Brom created history to escape the drop since they have been at the bottom position since Christmas. Bless them! Sad to see the Redknapps and Southampton leave. My Proton sponsored team, Norwich City lost to Fulham 0-6. I have faith in Norwich City coming back in next season's campaign. Bless them also.

Chiqui and Franklin got married. Roman is dead. Yay! Ariadna has recovered from her addiction to alcohol. Olimpia should die anyway...soon hopefully!

Anyway got to run now! Dinner is calling me...au revoir.

Muax from Ann the *kecoh* brat!

I swear...

I am having my bouts of karaoke sessions now. Haha...right. It's not because I'm pining for my lost love. It's because I think my voice has gone completely horrible. No joke. I think I can do songs that don't require much of high-pitched tones. Like what Charlie is learning to say (credit goes to Miera for corrupting that young man)...*suara sumbang*. Haha...I never knew my voice could sound like a little girl. Kind of funny. I never believed it at first. When I used to speak to *him*, I'd always sound so childish/rather cutesy. Argh! :P...Then bout a few months back, I called one of my mates from Convent Sentul, Amalina...she thought I was a small kid and said that she couldn't recognise my voice. I admit it...I sound different in real-life and even on the phone. Real-life, I sound really LOUD. On the phone, I sound rather timid and childish. More like a cartoon. Yesterday, my brother recorded my voice on his moblie phone (hate his phone so much, since it's a camera phone!). And I heard the clip, it sounded so horrible. I was screaming and I sounded like a brat (hold it, I am one!)!. I freaked out hearing my voice. Sheesh...scary.

I read recently that they put this boy in prison (for one day anyway) for shirking NS. Crap. I mean this boy was helping his mother who earns RM 150 a month by washing plates by working also. And the Deputy Prime Minister says *Don't blame us. The boy didn't give a proper explanation. If he had given a proper explanation, surely we wouldn't put him in jail.* All the boy said was *Saya malas nak pergi*. They could have asked him why he was lazy anyway. I can tell you that a friend of mine (well, more of my ex-friend really!) was supposed to go for NS this year, but decided she'd give it a miss and study Law some where. These type of people should be put to jail, not that poor young man. What a twisted world I live in.

*Maybe I didn't know how to show it, mabe I didn't know what to say, this time I won't disguise, then we can build our lives, and we can be as one...*

Just love that song...and Lee Ryan :P ! If come back to my life (my shirt), I'll be there till the end of time. I promise you this.

*I am crazy, I am moody, I am restless...and I am tired of waiting.

Might be changing the blog layout again. It depends. It's either Chelsea FC or butterflies. Till then I think I'm happy and content with this layout. Toodles from Ann...

Fergie going?

It is said that Alex Ferguson is set to leave Manchester United after that Malcolm Glazer bought the club already. And they say Chelsea is all about money. So now Manchester United can't complain bout Chelsea buying players since they have a Russian oil tycoon fuelling in the money. Manchester United are lot more richer than Chelsea. They had this pie chart bout Arsenal, Chelsea, and Manchester United. How much of money spent on their players. I found out that Manchester United's strikers in the form of Rooney, Smith, and Saha cost a lot more than Chelsea's recently signed stars in the form of Kezman, Robben and Drogba. See what sore losers these people are. Hate them so...I'd probably slap them. I'm not going to condemn Liverpool, since I found out my brother reads my blog and he's a Liverpool fan, and since I think it's unfair to condemn Liverpool, but I don't think the ball went in that day. I think maybe if you apply physics in football about measuring something, you'd see what I mean. Your eyes have to be exactly on the line. You don't measure it from your left or from your right. You measure it right on the line. Maybe if the referee was there at that exact spot, he'll claim it wasn't a goal. Oh well, the past is past. Bless Liverpool anyway. They're in, and we're not. We beat them thrice to win 2 trophies. They beat us once this season to (at least) win a trophy. God Bless Liverpool!

I am crazy. I talk too much. I love me. I am *kecoh*, I know. Very, very *kecoh*. That comes naturally I guess, from being a bum at home. Oh well, one more month. If not, then, two months more after that one month, that makes it three months. *Sigh*. My driving test is on Monday or Tuesday. Bless me. Have to study the signboards and the penalties/fines/charges. Other than that, I think I'm okay. *Whee*.

Later. Why did Jamelia come up with that *Superstar* song, anyway? It's my brother's favourite (rather annoying to me) song! Argh...my luck I guess. Guess my mum must be blessed with 2 equally gifted kids like me and my brother. Hell yeah, I bet she is. Oops! Heaven yeah, I bet she is. Toodles.

This is not about hate...

This is not about hate...in fact this is nothing at all. This is me admitting I suck at being a goalkeeper. I can't see how Cudicini , Lehmann, Cech, Pidgeley, Howard or even Carroll can stay at the same spot for 90 minutes? I can't sit quietly at the same spot. I have a short attention span. I'd rather be a striker, midfielder or even a defender. Anything but a GOALKEEPER. Hehe...good news is that Chiqui has recovered from her selective amnesia.

Funny how a lot of people can make you see life in a different perspective. I am utterly grateful for the fact that I have a lot of people that keep me rooted to the ground. Love my mates to the max. Thank you all. For restoring my faith. Merci beaucoup.

By the way, Swarna my dear, if in case you're reading this, the ending of Mi Gorda Bella is on Wednesday, not on Thursday. Today was episode 175. That means another three more days. Yay. Sorry for the inconvenience caused, dear!

Much love,

Ann *butterfly spirit*...by the way, Jay, I'm not your Nikki Kezman, for God's sake.

P/S: Rather keen on listening to Marion Raven's *End of Me* again. Rather anticipating the day I get my hand on Keane's *Hopes and Fears* album. Rather tired of waiting for justice to prevail. Wait. Patience is a virtue.

How is it possible to doubt the faith I have in you?

I am definitely confused with my own faith. I had to go out to town just now. And I passed by a place that made me wonder about the things and people I put my faith and trust in. My feelings just went awry after passing by that place. I have no idea why, but it just did. It seems like the more I think of what someone told me bout that person, the more I get confused. The more I get confused, the more I feel torn apart. The more I become torn apart, the more I become a vengeful person. I hate myself. For now, I think I have to have faith in everything I believe in, everything I do, and more importantly, everyone I trust. I really need to talk to Sree. My *budak sekolah*. I'm her *mahasiswi*. Yeah, since I'm not going to Form 6/school, so she calls me *mahasiswi*. Hehe...really going to miss this *mangkuk* of mine.

How is it possible Chiqui can't remember who Franklin is? Selective amnesia, I guess. Something like what Arsene Wenger has. But he suffers from selective myopia. Haha...Anyway, I can see that Pantoja has a thing for Jessica Lopez. Hehehe...

I need faith...more importantly, I need you...

Filthy/Gorgeous

When you're walkin' down the street
And the man tries to get your business
And the people that you meet
Want to open you up like Christmas
You gotta wrap your fuzzy in a big red bow
Ain't no sum bitch gonna treat me like a ho
I'm a classy honey kissy huggy lovey dovey ghetto princess

Cuz you're filthy
Oooh, and I'm gorgeous:
You're disgusting
Oooh, and you're nasty
And you can grab me oooh, cuz you're nasty

When you're runnin' from a trick
And you trip on a hit of acid
You gotta work for the man
But your biggest moneymakers' flaccid
You gotta keep your shit together
With your feet on the ground
There ain't no one gonna listen
If you haven't made a sound
You're an acid junkie college flunky dirty puppy daddy bastard

Cuz you're filthy
Oooh, and I'm gorgeous:
You're disgusting
Oooh, and you're nasty
And you can grab me oooh, cuz you're nasty

Kinda love this song...:P...will try and get Gorillaz's *Feel Good Inc.* soon...just love Gorillaz. Espescially *19/2000* and that *Tomorrow Comes Today* song. I am finally studying for my driving test. My dad was like asking me bout it today. Kinda freaked me out. Guess he saw that I haven't been studying much. Arsenal trashed Everton 7-0. And Chelsea beat Manchester United 3-1. Joy. We have another match against Newcastle United come Saturday. Bless my mighty captain, John Terry who is undergoing a toe surgery, and will miss out on the last game, their US trip, and even the Korean pre-season tour. Hail the mighty captain. And guide my vice-captain but will be captain for the coming matches, Frank Lampard to right the right road as well. Despite the fact he has to undergo a toe surgery as well. Bless my mighty Blues and their mercurial manager in the form of Jose Mourinho. Yes, that man whom I tried to imagine how he'd look like when he smiles. Yes, that Jose Mario Santos Mourinho Felix. That is a mouthful. I thought Miera's full name was bad enough. Anyway, gotta go and study. I'm supposed to go on either Monday or Tuesday. Wish me luck, if in case you don't hear from me for the coming days. Cheers and much love, Ann!

I want to kill my brother right now!

This is an interesting bit of info I found out from my trusty source (Thanks a lot girl! I owe you one!). A particular someone said that I was racking up a fuss bout the blue shirt. Me? Hello, my shirt is missing, I told them that no amount of money or a new shirt could replace the value of that shirt to me, and she calls me *kecoh*? So weird. To those ignorant people, to them, it might just be a shirt. It means a lot more to me. Argh, these people, they'll never understand me. Or my beliefs. The main thing is to seek justice for my innocent shirt, my baby.

My mum was reenacting earlier during dinner an incident involving that ignorant fool and my *newborn son*, my teddy named Micky. The way she manhandled my *son* really left me and my mum somewhat traumatised. I think my poor, sweet and innocent *son* would have been traumatised as well. Poor baby, mummy's here for you, love. I swear she'll never come near you again. Ever. You can count on mummy to be there for you. I promise.

It's funny how people say I've changed so much and I can be so spiteful of people. I have my reasons to be bitchy and spiteful. This is one of them. I'm tired of playing people's mind games. I thought that was happening in football with Jose Mourinho, Alex Ferguson and Arsene Wenger. I never thought that somewhere along the line, we'd be playing mind games here in Malaysia. Too tired to take it. You want to play mind games? Fine, go play it among yourselves, but don't go too far by dragging me in!

Anyway, to my nutcase of a brother, if in case you'r reading this, please delete the clips of your horrible voice recorded earlier during dinner. It should stay in the house and not go to your office. Please, my *maruah* is at stake. I still have some *maruah* left ok? Hehe...please! Don't do this to me...and please don't put on your like I care face there ok?

I forgot to tell you that I have been blessed with two equally beautiful *children*. The first is a girl named *Comel*. It's a cat. The second as you already know is a boy named *Micky* It's a teddy. Hehe...how I love them so? Love them so much till it bleeds. Muax...mummy's angels.

Anyway, toodles for now. Missing everyone of my mates like hell. *Sniffles*. See you guys around. Soon...hopefully. Auf Wiedershen.

I cried again

I cried seeing Orestes cry, again. He looked so innocent. I fell in love with his *innocent boy* look today. Haha...yesterday was something else ok? When is Roman going to die? When is Bella going to tell Orestes that she's pregnant with his child? Let Chiqui live! Roman must die...Lorenzo also must die. With that bitch Olimpia and Roque. Argh...want to see his innocent face. So sweet...he looks like a little lost boy. Sigh, when you want to come here, my Juan Pablo Raba?

Had some karaoke-ing session with my torchlight again. Mum decided to join in this time! So funny. I'd think the neighbours would say we're high. Either sugar-high or caffeine-high. Hahaha...Toodles for now, much regards and love!

Wonder what Miera, Charlie, Jay and Stella are doing right now???

Hey there...I know what you're thinking, Miera. I'm supposed to be studying for my freaking driving license test, instead I'm blogging. I know, lazy little me. I swear right after lunch I am going to sit down and study. I promise.

I don't know what my mum meant when she said that *There is some -hikmah- behind getting that results for your SPM*. To me, it sounds like I deserved it to get those results that a lot of people never expected to hear from me. But she says it like *If you didn't get that results, your chances of going into UIAM is very slim*...I think that if my results were better, I'd apply for some other scholarships from some private universities or something like that. I won't even go to UIAM. My mum makes it sound like my results were so bad, and she's looking on that as a blessing so that we wouldn't have to spend so much money on my education. You may think I'm trying to imply that she's stingy. Not really. Everytime I bring up the issue of buying some decent T-shirts, she says that I have enough T-shirts and that I don't need it. My T-shirts are like 6-7 years old already. I need more than that! I don't know why it's so wrong for her to say that. To me, it's like adding salt to the wound. Ouch. It's not enough my results were so bad, she makes it sound it's a good thing I didn't get better. For someone like me, I deserve more than what I got. I'd probably taken up some scholarship offered by some company if I had better results. Not waste some 6-7-8 months waiting for my UIAM application to be approved. That is if I actually get it. So frustrating to hear your own flesh and blood to say that.

Was actually thinking something one morning. You know the girl who got 17A1s for SPM? That Nur Amalina? Yeah...I mean I read somewhere that she was offered the Bank Negara scholarship along with the other top-scorers. I mean, why would a bank offer a girl like her who wants to be a gynaecologist and study in Oxford a scholarship to do some banking crap? Unless Bank Negara is planning to open an O & G clinic there and she plans to work there? Or open a maternity ward there or something like that? I mean the other girl Anushree who scored 14A1s, it's wise for them to offer her that scholarship since she wants to be an economist or something (correct me if I'm wrong). The other guy, I'm not sure what he wants to do since he's being overshadowed by these two girls. But to offer that Nur Amalina a scholarship? That's is wrong to me. She's depriving of another hopeful candidate of getting that scholarship. And she gets to do this Stabilo pencil ad. It's like saying that the pencil holds the key to her successes. Not her. I mean, it's like saying she depended on the pencil to do well. Not because the countless hours and effort she pumped in to get that results. Now I know that pencils hold the answer to everything in the exams, not us. Damn, no wonder I got such crappy results! This was a joint effort by me and Miera. About the possibilities my child persuading me to buy the pencil for him.

Johan: Mak, please buy me that pencil that the girl who scored 17A1 in her SPM used for her exams. Please.
Me: Johan, she didn't use the pencil to be smart. She studied hard and put in a lot of effort to get good results. I'll buy you a different pencil, ok?
Johan: Mak, I don't want a different pencil. I want that pencil. This one.
Me: Johan, don't believe everything you see in the television. It only makes kids like you get swayed. Listen to me, I know what's best for you. I'm your mother. Not that girl. This pencil is good.
Johan: No, mak! You don't love me. You don't want me to be smart. You want me to be stupid!
Me: No, Johan. I only want what's best for you. I'm your mother. Why would I want you to be stupid. I'd like you to be smart. In fact, smarter than me. All I'm saying is that a pencil won't determine how well you do in your exams. It's the effort, prayers and faith you put in when you study that matter. Nothing else. I'll buy you ice-cream, ok?
Johan: Really mak?
Me: Of course, sayang. Anything for you. You are after all, my pride and joy. My smart, sweet and wonderful son.
Johan: Thank you, mak. I'm sorry bout the pencil anyway. I believe you now.
Me: Good boy!
Johan: So clever-lah mak!

Hahaha...I'm really losing my marbles. How can I think of all these things right now? Oh well, since I'm so free right now, that's when my head starts to wonder. Hehehe...me. Anyway, toodles for now! Bye...and au revoir!

Loving the smell of rain...loving the cool breeze...loving the loquacious me...

Hey, hey...it's raining now. And with the cool breeze and Blue on my CD player right now, what else can I ask for? No, wait. There are a lot of things I can ask for...like my Nikon Coolpix Digicam, Roman Abramovich sponsoring my studies in Psychology, meet Frank Lampard and his other mates, and my blue shirt (I better stop making you guys stare at the PC, in an attempt to kill me!). Nah, not in the long run...but other than that, I am content. I don't know why I love the smell of rain. It has this smell that makes you captivated. People said the smell is not good for us (or was that the smell of petrol as you can get addicted to drugs or something of that manner?), but I don't care. The smell just makes me feel like dancing in the rain, right now, in the moonlight. Hehe...just remembered Toploader's *Dancing in the Moonlight* tune. And the cool breeze sets the romantic mood right now. Sigh...It would have made things seem a lot brighter if I had someone to dance with. *Whee*.

I don't know how I became so talkative and so damn loquacious. My paretns told me that when I was three, the only words that ever existed in my vocabulary were: *Mama, Papa, Hello, Bye Bye, Yes, No, Want, Don't Want, Thank You, and How Are You?*. Believe it or not? Up to you. Only ten words were in my vocabulary at that age. Since they(my parents) were so worried that I couldn't speak more than what I already knew then and feared I wouldn't be able to understand what others were saying to me, they decided to bring me to an audiologist. And she said, *Nothing to worry. She understands what you all are saying. She will talk and she understands. Did you know that Einstein started speaking when he was three also? So don't worry.*. Okay, so I may not be Einstein material, I admit. But from then on, I started speaking like never before. So curious of petty things that don't matter to me. Asking this, asking that. I think maybe I ate *tongkeng ayam* or chicken's backside when I was young. But then again, no one in our house eats that. So it's impossible. How is it possible I can talk so much? It baffles me too! I talk too much. I know it's bad. My brother always says that when I talk, grammar and pronounciation is terrible. I know. I have to admit it. But I think I write better. I'm better off writing things. I think I express myself better through writing.

My mouth, you can hear me say good, nice and sweet things from it. Or you can hear nasty, painful, and irritating words coming out of it. Your choice, which do you prefer?

Anyway...still having my karaoke session with my trusty black torchlight. Still listening to slow-sentimental-mushy stuff. Can't get over you...

Cheers and good night!

P/S: Next year's Malaysian Idol audition I will go. But then, I wouldn't want to meet Paul Moss and say *I have no professional training*. Oh well, guess I have to practice till the day arrives. Au revoir.

Jose Manuel Sevilla died! *Sobs*

Josema died! Sad really. To see Orestes cry, made me cry. Haha...mushy me. I've seen Orestes smile, grin, cry, mad, upset and confused. I fell head over heels when he did his *jelingan manja* thing today. So broody. Haha...when is that bitch Olimpia going to die??? Along with Roque and Roman??? Josema shouldn't have died. But since he's dead now, Juan Angel can marry his true love, Tza Tza Lanz. Oh...I'm rotting my brains watching TV. Just hoping that the story ends soon. But I can't see my Orestes anymore. :'(...oh well, look at Frank and Lee enough-lah, right? Since he's a cross between Frank Lampard and Lee Ryan, to me. Sigh, my Juan Pablo Raba...you melt my heart!

I like men who are sensitive, caring, broody, have a heart of gold, tall, and more importantly, have superbly sharp noses. I find this a big turn on. Haha...well, if they show a wee bit of jealousy, that's a big turn on also. Hahaha...I fell off the chair. It shows that they care and well, yeah, possessive. Hehehe...there's a story behind that. But I prefer not to disclose bout it. Jealousy is sometimes a bad thing. Sometimes it's a good thing. Anyway...have been listening to Blue and Gareth Gates the whole day. Was singing a few songs, in an attempt to persuade my shirt to return home. My mum was laughing her head off when she saw me singing and using my little torchlight as a microphone. Cute. Among the few songs I sang were:

1. SORRY SEEMS TO BE THE HARDEST WORD
2. IF YOU COME BACK
3. GUILTY
4. BREATHE EASY
5. SAY IT ISN'T SO
6. LISTEN TO MY HEART
7. TOO SOON TO SAY GOODBYE
8. NOTHING'S GONNA STOP US NOW

Haha...I'm seriously getting mad now. I'm so drunk right now. Should have gone for the Malaysian Idol auditions. Damn! Paul Moss would have died hearing me sing. Haha. Was singing LIVE TWICE by Darius yesterday.

If I could only let you know,
I'd give up everything I own,
For just one more day with you,
There's nothing I wouldn't do,
How could I let it pass me by,
If I'd make every sacrifice,
To bring me back your love,
If only we could live twice,
If only we could live twice...

Cheers. I am drunk. Seriously certified mad, drunk and psychotic! Bye...*muax*!

Notice...

This is a very short notice. In case you don't hear much from me for the coming few days, it's not because I've died or something happened to me (touch wood) or I'm just so lazy too blog! It's because there's something wrong with my Internet connection. Not again! I think it's high time we switched on over to Streamyx. Hell yeah, we should. Sorry. That shouldn't have come out. It should have been: Heaven yeah, we should.

That stinky shirt (I can't believe it stank so bad! And it was my favourite shirt!) had to be washed again. This time we put in the fabric softener, Softlan. The pink one. I put in 3/4 cup full. And now it's too fragrant. My mum is wondering what am I going to do if what we thought about that blue shirt being given to someone else. Wait and see, I say. Wait and see...don't look back in anger, I heard you say...at least not today...toodles for now!

Part of of a song written in memory of my blue Tasmanian Devil shirt...

I created a few lines of a song while I was having dinner earlier on. In loving memory of my lost and much loved blue Tasmanian Devil shirt. It goes a little something like this:

If I had loved you any more,
You would have rocked me to the core,
If I had loved you any less,
Things wouldn't be in such a mess,
Oh my beautiful blue shirt,
You have turned me into a flirt,
I've been looking around,
I've been looking all over town,
Just to know where you are,
Eventhough we may be far,
Always know I've never stopped loving you,
And won't ever replace you with someone new,
Sadly missed, you'll always be,
The shirt that brought out the best in me,
You'll always be right here in my heart,
For I believe we'll never be apart.
I hope that one day,
If you come back my way,
I'll never let you go,
and walk out on me through the door.

It isn't exactly a song, by the way. It's probably something that would have been a poem that might look like a song. I'm no songwriter. I'm hopeless when it comes to that. I'm better off writing poems. Especially when I'm having a headache or when I'm seriously tired. Haha...you might be wondering how I get inspiration to write, right? Beats me, I don't have a clue myself! Seriously, I think the last one I wrote was probably the one that actually got posted in here somewhere at the end of February. Haven't been inspired lately. Too tired of thinking. Hardly had a headache. I know that two lines of this so-called song is rubbish. But what the hell? Had to rhyme with something right?

Anyway, I have new updates on the reunion, my dear ex-5 Anggerikians batch 2004. The reunion is on this Saturday, 14th of May 2005 at MidValley. Supposed to meet up at 9 a.m. at school, then take the KTM Komuter train from the Sentul KTM station. Please inform Jerry@ Bairavi or even Jhoshna whether you will be attending the reunion or not. And please inform our other friends that absolutely have no clue about this reunion. If they didn't know bout it, it's probably because they couldn't get in touch with you or them or something like that. Hope to see you all there. Hopefully, fingers crossed, I get to go. Well, I told my mum that if I go, I'd stop by the World of Cartoons place and check the whole store for my shirt. Not intending to buy it anyway. I'd bring a camera and take a picture of that shirt. A reminder of my 16th birthday present that didn't make it to see it's 2nd birthday...*sniffles*. Since I don't have much memories of that shirt. I only wear if I feel like it, considering it doesn't snow in Malaysia. Hot place to live in. Haha...It would be nice if someone buys it for me..then again I shouldn't be greedy. I should be content with what I already have.

Enjoy the song...haha...much love!

*Ann* sings a soft tune and weeps sorrowfully. *INNALILLAH* to my beautiful blue shirt...

Toe is aching like mad...still am the greatest footballer!

Had fun yesterday. Suffering now. Haha. I was the only girl playing football yesterday. Anyway forgot bout this interesting joke that happened yesterday morning. Just woke up from sleep when my mum came in and just told me "Ena, this shirt stinks! Just smell and see!" and she threw the shirt on my face. Boy, was she right. It reeked like crazy. It was bad enough I just woke up and felt really groggy. One whiff of that shirt, I instantly woke up. Seriously, that shirt was my wake up call. I hate my mum for that. I don't think the person who borrowed the shirt from me actually washed it. And she kept it for a month. And my dad hails her and her family for actually taking the trouble to send my mum's blazer for dry-cleaning. What a twisted place I live in.

Anyhow, I've seen Eidur's kid and Scott Parker's son. Not live obviously. In pictures. They're so adorable. Haha. Still think Mourinho's kids are adorable. Really. You have to see them to believe it. Especially his son. So adorable. Wish I can pinch his cheeks. *Whee*.

Still hoping Roman would sponsor my education though. Like he'll ever stumble upon my blog. I wish. Toodles for now!

*Ann*

Now I know what Frank meant by a hole in the toe...Ouch!

Hello. I just had blog bout this today. I scored 2 goals today! Yes, after I finished blogging earlier, my mum wanted to use the pc. Then, since it was drizzling slightly, my dad told me to stay inside. While waiting for the drizzle to end, I went to the balcony and did my usual spying on people from the balcony stunts. I saw Kavenesh and his gang playing football. I was so eager to play. So once the drizzle finally stopped, I took the keys and went over to his place. *Whee*. I played like crazy. No one has ever seen me run loose. First match we lost 10-12 (I came at the last minute, so that's why we lost! :P) Then in the 2nd match we drew 8-8 (scored one in here). Naveen was on my team and he was so cocky. He was hogging the ball for himself. Then we had to reshuffle. And in the first minute itself, we won. Guess who scored? Rowena Hanafiah. Haha. Really, I'm not joking. The ball just rebounded from Kavenesh's leg after Naveen tried to knock the ball in from a long range and failed. I got to it. And the ball came to me and I kick it. It hit Jeremy's legs and went to the side. I said to myself 'This ball has to go in no matter what!'. Then I got to the ball since it was at the side. And I kicked it. It rebounded off Jaykumar's leg. And it came back to me and I scored the winner. *Whee*. So proud. Kavenesh called me the female version of Frank Lampard in Sentul Pasar. At first Jaykumar was like 'She's a girl!' Then he was like 'She's good!'. My new nick is Sentul Lampard. Cheesy, ain't it? But still, it was worth it.

Unfortunately, while struggling for the ball, I scratched my left toe against the pavement. Now, I have an injury. On my left toe, the skin came off and it's bleeding. Serves me right for playing barefooted. Should have listened to Mr. Hanafiah. Stubborn me. Oww...now I can relate to what Frank Lampard said bout the hole in the toe thing. Not entirely, but still. My dad doesn't know bout this injury just yet. In fact he didn't even know I was out playing football! And then they stopped the match. Bummer. But still I had a great time. It took my mind off my loved-you-too-much-that's-why-you're-missing issue. Football is entertaining. Stress reliever. Big time. No joke. My toe hurts. Crap. I'm the best. *Grins like a mad fox*. You know I am.

Would like to play again if possible. That is if my injury will heal by then. Haha...sure hope it does. Right now, I can sense that someone is coming to sweet talk me to accept the shirt issue. Crap. No way. I won't be easily swayed. Feels weird you know. Kavenesh was actually shouting from the inside of his house and saying 'Rowena akka also playing, and she's very good-lah!'. I was like 'I have no professional training'. Haha...a scene re-enactmeant of William Hung and Simon Cowell, Randy Jackson, and Paula Abdul. Sorry, just getting all hyped up.

I'm currently finding a way to tell my dad I bumped my leg into the door, and the skin peeled off. I have to lie. Otherwise, he won't let me play again. I don't have anything to kill my time. Wait, I do. Studying for my test. Silly me. So lazy.

By the way, have you guys seen how Jose Mourinho's kids look like? They're so god damn adorable.But they are brunettes. So I thought, the wife must be a brunette. True enough, she's a brunette and she's gorgeous. So then I remembered my long forgotten Biology lessons on genes. Haha...funny ain't it? Considering I scored a measly C5 for it. Anyway, toodles for now. Sayonara.

Greed is indeed a sin...

I have to admit it. I let greed blind me and my own judgements. I was so angry with the fact that she lost my shirt so much that I expected her to replace that shirt. Then I realised, that no amount of money can replace that shirt. Not even a new shirt of the same design could compensate my 16th birthday present. The value of that shirt is more than what it cost my parents. Value here doesn't mean the figure or amount I paid for it. It is the meaning of that shirt. It symbolises the transformation of a catterpillar to a chrysalis, and finally, to a butterfly. It symbolises me. Being 16 comes with a great responsibility. I don't think I ever understood that earlier. It symbolises me growing up. More importantly, it was the first shirt I bought that looks really like hip hop. Made me look different than my usual casual look.

If it's wrong to tell the truth,
What am I supposed to do,
All I wanna do is speak my mind,
If it's wrong to do what's right,
I'm prepared to testify,
If loving you with all my heart's a crime,
Then I'm GUILTY!

I'm guilty of loving you too much, my dear blue Tasmanian Devil shirt. Maybe if I had loved you less, you wouldn't be missing right now. My mistake of loving you, I guess. All I can say to you right now, my dear Tasmanian Devil shirt, is *Innalillah*. May God bless you wherever you may be.

Her brother tried to talk to me and convince me to let them replace that shirt. I put my foot down on my decision and I won't ever go back on it. I refused to speak to him. Even my mum knew that. And he was telling my mum that it was just a shirt. A SHIRT? My foot, it's just a shirt. It means more than that. He thinks just because I'm younger than him, I must listen to him. I may be younger but that doesn't mean I must listen to him. I hardly listen to my own brother (have to nowadays since he knows too much). And he's forgetting the fact that I'm his aunt. I'm not listening to you. Mark that down so that you won't forget. I am incorrigible.Sorry seems to be the hardest word. So they say. And I agree. 150%.

Once again, *Innalillah* to my blue Tasmanian Devil shirt. Won't replace you. Will be sorrowly missed. And always adored, loved, and treasured. Ameen...

Roman, read this.

Dear Mr. Roman Abramovich,

I sincerely hope you're reading this. My name is Rowena Hanafiah. I come from Malaysia. I love what you've done for my favourite team, Chelsea FC. You may have bought players, but they garnered the spirit of togetherness. I salute you for bringing the great Jose Mourinho and a host of great stars (including Petr Cech...yummy!). I salute you for bringing together a great ensemble. Right now, I sincerely need your help. I need money to further my education in Psychology in HELP University College. I wasn't born with a silver spoon in my mouth. I come from pretty much an average family. That's why I sincerely ask of your help. I hope you will sponsor my education, so that I'll become an established child psychologist. Your help is deeply appreciated. Thank you.

Much regards and love.

Rowena Hanafiah...



I sound really desperate, don't I? Haha...you tell me! Much love. AnnDeSilva.

Men...

Hehe...getting bored already. So I'm blogging. When I'm supposed to be studying for my L license. Cheeky me. Instead of studying I've decided to talk on the insipid television programmes I've have been watching for the past one week. Pity my brains by the way...they're really rotting right now. Haha. Perla is so totally stupid. I mean, one minute this character is good. The next thing you know the character has got some tricks up his/her sleeve. I seriously don't know why my mum insists on taping that no-brainer. Then you have Rubi. Rubi is really a money-minded girl. Unlike her sister, Cristina. She doesn't see the finer things in life. I think she's going to tackle her best friend's boyfriend, Hector. I think Alejandro's a nice guy though he's not quite financially stable. There' another one, To Mum With Love. I have to admit, Michelle Saram's character is adorable, but she's so money minded like Rubi. For them, money talks, not the heart. Hate this type of girls. Then Mi Gorda Bella is not as stupid as the other insipid programmes mentioned. But I don't see why Valentina is so pissed with Orestes anyway. She lied to him bout her identity. So did he. But since she confessed to El Lirio del Plata (Silver Lily), that Valentina and Bella are the same people, wouldn't that mean that Orestes knows that those two are the same person? And now that they know their hidden agendas, why can't they just get along like normal couples? Since they have a child together (which he doesn't know of). For God's sake, be nice. And I hope Pandora will get out of that mental hospital and kick Olimpia's ass once and for all, and more importantly patch things up with Jordi @ Nela. Lorenzo and Roman should die a horrible death. Chiqui will get back together with her real mum, Jessica Lopez.

I have a new hobby. Ogling at good looking men. Wakaka...especially Juan Pablo Raba. He's delicious. Sorry! He plays Orestes...once glance of that guy, you think of Frank Lampard. Ooh...I swoon at the sight of these two blokes. And *him* too. Haha...'hati cair' is what Lilee always says. The other heroes aren't that good looking. The guy who plays Hector is blonde, and I hate blondes. The guy who plays Alejandro, I don't know what to say exactly. He's kind of big. I don't really go for big guys. Hehe...

Anyway...got to run now. See you guys around. Toodles!

Sweet dreams are made of this...

I really had a good dream today. Don't know why it's good. But I haven't dreamt of something so lovely as that. For quite a LONG time already. Hehe...involved a few of the lovely people I constantly call my *shining stars*. I'd like to thank Miera and Lilee for always keeping my mind filled with beautiful and meaningful moments. Always blessed to have them around. And yes, don't go there. Was seeing someone's pictures on Friendster. And he's got a picture taken with my man JT. Not Justin Timberlake! John Terry! Eee...I would give anything in this world to stand next to JT. And another picture was with Eidur Gudjohnssen. Eee...am I so much in envy? Would like to stand and hug (peck on the cheek would be nice as well) Frank Lampard. Ah...dream on. I'd like to take pictures with Petr Cech as well, but he's so tall. I'd probably end up looking like a midget. Always do...since I'm the shorty in my family. Not quite. But still I'd look like a midget if I stand next to Petr Cech. Haha...since he's so tall and sweet and all. Would like to stand next to Scott Parker though. He might be slightly taller but, at least I won't look like such a midget. Perfect! Wakakaka...

Anyway, I got to run now. Toodles. My lunch is calling...hehe!

Postponement of the reunion...

As the title suggests, the reunion has been postponed to a later date, somewhere next week. Though I don't exactly know the date. If I do know, I'll inform you guys ok?

Anyway, I changed the layout, so that it doesn't look that mundane. Like it or hate it? Let me know what you think ok?

I created a new word by the way. *Torturizing*...conceived from the word *Torturing* and *Mesmerizing*...silly me.

Anyway, toodles for now...will update when I have the time or when I feel like blogging. Getting lazy nowadays. Until then, here's Ann *Misao* robot saying good night and merci beaucoup. Au revoir!

Thanks a lot...

I'd like to keep this short and sweet as possible. I'd like to take this moment to thank the people who have been constantly giving me support and encouragement non-stop for the past five days. Thanx you for having faith in me, giving confidence to me, and more importantly, telling me that hope does linger even when you're in a dark, dusty, and damp tunnel. Thank you for reminding me that it lingers at the end of the tunnel in the form of a bright light. Thank you, merci beaucoup, paciba, shukriya, and gracias.

I felt tired and was on the verge of giving up on life. But I can't do that just yet. I need faith. Do I have faith??? I DO! I HAVE FAITH, CONFIDENCE, & HOPE ON MY SIDE! I AM STRONGER, MORE THAN I THOUGHT I WAS!

I seriously needed faith today. Had to sit for 5 gruelling hours for my driving course today. Could've slept the whole while. The canteen there had no coffee or anything filled with caffeine (not even Pepsi!). It was like being in school again. Wait...it's supposed to be a driving school. So, it is a school, technically. See how stupid I am? *Whee*...like what Miera and Lilee say, stupidity is an incurable and contagious disease, spread only by the friendship virus.

God grant me the patience and courage to face every single test you're testing my faith in. I might not be able to carry on. For long.

*Ann...fly like a butterfly*

Reunion updates...

Attention to all the ex-5ANGGERIK 2004 girls...this is the latest updates on the reunion on Sunday.

The reunion will be held on Sunday, the 8th of May 2005. We'll meet up in school first at 8.30 a.m., then we're going to Berjaya Times Square. And please don't forget to bring some extra cheese...I mean money. Haha!

For further enquiries, please get in touch with Bairavi or Jhoshna. And inform them whether you're going or not.

And please inform our other friends that do not know bout this reunion.

Hope to see you all there! Bye...

Too tired...feel like giving up!

Yes I'm tired. Tired of being nice. Once I try to be nice, a lot of scoundrels try to take advantage of me. Once I try to be bitchy, people start thinking I'm being spiteful. I really don't even know why I'm trying so hard to please everyone. Being an apple polisher, shoe polisher or even the bald head polisher. I'm just too tired of being the naive and nice me. I really wish the hot-tempered, bitchy, and impish me would prevail soon. I'm really too tired to go on being me.

Feel like giving up. I know I can't but I just feel like doing it! I'm fading away...

Seriously in a mood for murdering someone...

I don't have a God damn clue on why I feel like running amok right now! It's not enough the reasons I gave yesterday is putting me in the right direction of killing someone, the fact Chelsea lost to Liverpool puts me in a better situation of running amok and killing everyone! I really felt like crying this morning...:'(!

But being the good sport I am (Miera, you know this is not a lie!), I am glad for Liverpool and their fans. At least they can salvage a trophy (though it's the most coveted trophy in Europe!), like Chelsea have 2 trophies. And either Arsenal or Manchester United is going to end up trophyless this year. Yeah, well hope Liverpool meet AC Milan. And I want them to win, since they're keeping the English flag flying high. I'm just glad for Liverpool.

On the other hand, I'm rather disappointed for Chelsea. It's the 2nd Champions League semifinal defeat they had in a year. Poor John Terry...he must be devastated to the max. Almost had it in their hands. Poor Mourinho too. Was really hoping he'd be able to defend the title with two different teams. Anyway, he has given us, Chelsea fans, the best trophy ever: the Premiership. After fifty long years, they finally get to land their hands on it. Hope they'll be able to defend it in the coming years. Preferably, for a very long time. *Whee*. I feel sad for the boys. Anyway, always look on the bright side of life!

Toodles for now...too upset to type right now. Give me a few hours...I'll be fine then. Any volunteers for me kill and slaughter now?

I feel like killing someone so much right now...

Finally...no interruptions from my mum! I really feel like killing someone so much right now. For very damn good reasons. Firstly, I'd like to say how much I hate my ex-Biology teacher (no surprise why I got a C5 for my SPM!). She has been keeping a particular certificate of mine (took part in some quiz). The certificate was given out on the day of the competition itself. And when I asked her about it in December 2004, she said come next year. Then somewhere in February, I went to school and asked her for it. And she says to come back during the results day. On the results day, I asked her where's the certificate was, she said it was in my Add Maths file. I checked it like a hundred times, and it wasn't there. I asked my niece to take it for me on my behalf. And she yells at my niece, saying that I was too lazy to come to school and had to ask a third party to take something that belongs to me, adding that if I want it, I must come to school and take the thing from her. When I finally had the time to go to school, she says come on Saturday and take it from her. At that time I had no clue I had to come to school for the Anugerah Cemerlang crap. And when I finally asked her on Saturday, she says that she doesn't know where she kept it, and told me not to worry since I had a better certificate (she was referring to my 'Terbaik dalam Bahasa Inggeris' certificate)! At that moment I could have just lost my temper and slapped her, and absolutely forgetting that she was my class teacher while doing it. Argh...so frustrating!

Not only that I feel like slapping my relation for losing my favourite two-toned long sleeved shirt. I bought that shirt on my 16th birthday in MIDVALLEY. The big question is, how can that shirt go missing in action, since she didn't use it for her drama at all. She used my other favourite black top with ruffles on it (Miera, I think you've seen it before!). She keeps it for a month and now that shirt is MISSING??? I asked when she going to return the shirts to me, she asks me 'Do you need it urgently?'. I would have probably killed her at that moment. I mean it's my stuff, of course I want it back! And besides she's having that ruffled shirt that I planned to wear when I went out last week. I can't believe that shirt can go missing considering the fact she didn't wear it at all. My mum, being the sceptical person she is, suspects that she gave it to someone. Who? Someone she worships, idolises, and any other word used to symbolise the phrase *I kiss the ground you walk on*. Some of you may know who this someone is. If you don't, it's best to keep it that way. I seriously am not going to lend any clothes to anyone. I mean it. Well, not really. It depends on who's asking. I think my friends totally understand the word *RESPONSIBILTY* very well. They borrow my stuff, and they make sure the stuff they borrowed is returned in mint condition. No joke. How frustrated I feel right now? VERY, VERY, VERY frustrated to the extent of killing someone with my bare hands.

Lastly, I want to kill someone so much since I can't find the main paper of The Star and New Straits Times. I seriously feel like killing someone...

I need to kill someone badly. Any volunteers? If no one wants to sacrifice themselves for my personal use, I guess I have to improvise. I'd probably jump up and down, like how that fictional character named Adelbert Steiner from my brother's Final Fantasy games when he's pissed.And when he does that, you can hear a sort of *clang-clang-clang* sound, since he's wearing a metal armour. Then again, that's only a figment of my imagination, sadly. Good night, darlings!

Ann, the butterfly, flies and never ever intends to return home. For the timebeing, that is.