Just a short note...

Just a short note to say I'm single and now I'm available...haha...bye!

Anugerah Juara Lagu 2004

I know...I'm late...the annual Juara Lagu competition was on Sunday and only now I'm giving an update? Damn slow...Sorry! Okay here's the low-down.

In the Creative Ethnic category, I liked Dayang's 'Erti Hidup'...nice...well, Adflin Shauki wrote it...COOL! Syura's and Sharifah Zarina's songs weren't that great...Noraniza's 'Hatinya Tak Tahan' was cool with the whole Javanese concept...from the dance routines to the musical arrangements! No surprise who won the 'Best Performance' award!

The Pop Rock category, Spider won...their 'Relaku Pujuk' song is such cool tune...'Tipah Tertipu' by Ruffedge didn't win surprisingly considering the fact it's a hit with almost everyone(sadly not with my dad!). Ella's 'Simbiosis' was a nice song as well...though I didn't like the guest guitarist very much(well I'm sure if he meets me...he'll say the same thing...so the feeling's mutual I guess!). Erra Fazira's 'Hanya Di Mata"' was not my cup of tea...the dancers looked as though they were plucked out of the 'Zorro' movie!No joke...They looked so funny!

In the Ballad category, Misha Omar won the award for this category and also the Best Vocalist with her haunting rendition of 'Pulangkan' for the Pontianak Harum Sundal Malam movie(damn freaky movie!)...though I think she was overdoing it. Last year it was with the hands, now it seems that disease has spreaded to her whole body!(Any Misha Omar fans reading this...sorry, but this is what I believe!) I was really hoping that Anuar Zain's 'Semuanya Untukmu' to win in this category...his vocals were fantastic(God...I love this guy so much! He's the first Malay guy I like...don't count Jehan Miskin, he's no.2!). Wish he could sing that song for my wedding...8 years time...by then don't know whether he's still in the showbiz scene! Vince's 'Mengapa Harus Cinta' wasn't so bad at all...though I hate his guts...the song is so addictive...I find myself singing to it when I think of sad things...basically when I'm eating as well...almost anytime. Zamani's song wasn't so good also...never mind...the main reason I was watching this was because I was bored...I don't have Astro ok? The only other option I had was the Tiger Cup final between Singapore and Indonesia...thank you Singapore for whipping Indonesia's ass...haha...cruel, ain't I? Well tomorrow is Hari Raya Aidil Adha or Hari Raya Haji or Hari Raya Qurban...It's a day where's think back of all the 'pengorbanan'(sacrifices) you have made in your life...be it time, money, clothes, or even strength...of course I will have to sit down and think of all the sacrifices I've made last year and the years before...and also the sacrifices made by someone else for me(I think you know who I mean...)...I have plenty to be thankful for...just that I haven't been that grateful or even appreciative of that...bye!

Fifi and me...

Fifi Allyson Sophia Morrison...the one person I thought I could never get along with. Well, it wasn't my fault really. She thought Jeevan and I had something going on...I may be close to Jeevan, since he's Miera's cousin, but that doesn't mean we have something on...somehow she never got that. Miraculously, on Tuesday night, when I felt I was carrying a heavy burden(more of guilt really) about *his* refusal to go to Australia, I felt really bad and she sat next to me and comforted me. Well she apologised for her behaviour first, then comforted me! Lilee said I should be careful for she's a wolf in sheep's clothing...but well, every cloud has a silver lining right? We became friends...Miera and Jay(I'm the only one who has been given privilege to call Jeevan that!)were initially shocked(Jay was dumbfounded...at least now he's happy that his three darlings are now friends: Me, Miera, and Fifi)...I found out that her parents had a nasty divorce(who said divorces were a happy affair?)...she refused to stay with her mum, claiming that her mum was cruel, her dad is her saviour. In fact he was the one who advised her to apologised to me for her irrational behaviour...I wouldn't blame her for it. It's natural for girls to feel the green eyed monster in them appear(Miera...don't laugh! I've learnt my lesson well!) once in a while, but hers was over the top. It's amazing when you're in a problem that you can't think of a solution(I had one but needed opinions anyway), your own enemy is the least expected person to help you when you're in dire straits...I found out that she hates Manchester United too! Hahaha...Jay, I found myself another MU basher...give up? Though she supports Tottenham Hotspurs...her fave player...Robbie Keane of course! I never imagined that we could be the way we are now...I knew Jay liked me but I said no, due to personal matters...for your information this happened way before I met *him*! I did like Jay for a while, but...nah! Let's just say he's not my type. Hahaha...stupid MU supporter...I just pray that the bond that Fifi and I now share will last for a long time(forever would sound alright!)...

I was in Jusco Kepong when the blackout occured...Dad was holding my hand though I wasn't afraid. I kept on saying 'I'm alive and fine!'...Mum was like calling me...'Rowena...come here and sit down'...I mean I was at one corner and she was at another...it was funny really...but the bad thing was...my chest was aching like mad...never felt it before...it happened once...but this one was a killer...I couldn't even walk straight...to top it all up, I had a splitting headache! Oh joy...
I knew what caused the chest pains...I was worried bout *him*...it always happens whenever I worry bout someone I care so much about...but this pain has been there since Tuesday night till now...which is Sunday morning 12.14a.m.! I think I may be dying soon and this headache comes and goes whenever it feels like...but the chest pains are still there...even as I sit and type now. Everyone has been telling me to tell my dad about this...Debra, Rupi, mum, Miera, Fifi, Lilee, Lysa, Jay(he's a sweetie...) and Joe...but the problem is I can't tell my dad anything now...he's always got something on...he's got quite a lot of things on his mind right now...I feel really bad for him...I don't want to cause him any trouble now...since he's so caught up with the water heater for my grandmother's house...and another one also for our other toilet...so he's busy getting people to fix them...so I don't want him to worry...if I worry him, his works are left incomplete. I won't cause him any more trouble like last year due to school, tuition and exams...and *him*. I pledge to be a good daughter....I'll give this thing a few days...if it worsens then I'll do something bout it...if not, nothing happened. I pray to God that I'll be fine. Sorry for the late update. Been really disorientated...bye! More updates soon...

Sacrifices...

Okay. Miera has labelled me 'Ungrateful'...I know that. I haven't realised how much people have sacrificed something in their lives for me. For example, dad sacrificed his job so that he could take care of me and Rizal. Mum sacrificed her sleeping hours so that she could stay up with me while I study. Miera sacrificed the PTS thing so that she could be with us. All this while I thought the person who made the most sacrifices in their lives for my sake was my dad.
Now I realise that there's someone else that is sacrificing something(s) just for me. I may have known *him* for like what, almost a year? Still, he has made a lot of sacrifices for this ungrateful nut. He has sacrificed his money to buy me sweets+choclates+birthday gifts. He sacrificed his time for the Add Maths seminar in Wisma MCA. Yet, I haven't appreciated the way I really should. He wrote an essay about the person who had influenced him the most...me. My birthday gift was a crystal swan...damn lovely one too. Now he's saying he's not going to Australia because of me. Because of his refusal to go there, he had a fight with his family and until today, none of them have spoken to him. It really makes me feel guilty...it's like the one who's holding him back from studying Down Under. I feel so low right now...need Miera (eventhough she's on the wheelchair in London) and Jay right now.

Have to go...take care and bye!

Blood...

The one thing I fear most in my life would be blood. Well, I do realise how important blood is to us human beings, but the fear is still there...haemophobia...that's the word I'm looking for. It all started when I was a little girl aged 5. I was trying to open the can of Sarsi all by myself, but then this little girl in her usual trouble-making self had a very deep cut on her finger while struggling to open it. So that's when the little girl decided that she will never buy or try to open any canned drinks, for she realised that she had a fear of blood. Somehow, this girl grew up to be a sweet yet odd young lady, but now she's able to open any canned drinks. Yet she now has this fear of knives...especially anyone around her holding it. For she knows, one wrong move and you will have blood oozing all over your face. Until this date, she never dares to cut anything using a knife...in fact she refuses! This is one of the reasons why she doesn't want to be a doctor. It's not like she doesn't want to save lives or things or that sort...it's just that she cannot stand the sight of blood. Recently someone was holding the knife when she was around, you should have seen the look on her face...as white as sheet. It was like she met Count Dracula and the whole life was drained out of her body as he sucked her blood with his viciously sharp fangs. Not only that, to this little girl, the thought of dissecting a rat during Biology class was a sinful thing to do. I mean you're killing one innocent creature for your own benefit? Sinful really...While my other merciless, heartless and cruel friends cut open the white body of the little rat, I decided to stay out and not be a part of it. It did nothing wrong to us, we could've at least spared its' life...May you rest in peace wherever you may be, little rat! This is why I don't want to be a doctor...not just my choice...oh yeah! There's someone else in my extended family who is already a doctor! So I just don't want to be following the stereotype...just want to be me. Who else can I be?

Careers pt.2...

This is the continuation of Part 1...here goes...

4. Meteorologist...so that I can save more lives should there be another tsunami attack happening again...couldn't believe my eyes and ears when *he* said he felt the tremors when he was in Singapore and Uncle Surey said he felt it when he was in Miri...surprised...I wouldn't want anyone to lose their live or loved ones or even their source of income ever again...

5. Marine Biologist...this idea was conceived when I was in Sea World, US...me and Rizal thought of it when we saw the manatees...damn adorable animals...and when I touched the dolphins and stingrays...stingrays were damn icky...doplhins were really gentle...love animals...including sharks!

6. Political Analyst...got this *STUPID* idea from Lilee while she was rambling on and one about her one and only Will Young(gay!) who took up political science! If I do take up political science like what he did, I'll only be seen during elections...other than that I'm in the shadows...hehe!

7. Radio DJ...no one will have to see my face...so they only hear the *sweet* voice of mine...hey, I really have a sweet voice, a voice sweeter than the sound of the birds chirping in the morning(according to *him* anyway!). According to some of my friends I got the voice of a small girl...well, I can be like Jeevan Selvanathan...the DJ from RED 104.9...my dad's friend's son...

8. Secretary...huh? How did this end up on my list anyway? My dad suggested that if I went to the arts stream, I could have taken up secretarial science! Yeah right...and become *his* secretary? Hahahahahaha...this gets me and Miera laughing all the time...

9. Writer...well, I dunno how well I write...but always end up getting an 'A' for Pn.Anna's essays...well...I wrote a story but it's pretty stupid...I do write poems, only when I have a pretty bad headache...this is another uncanny ability I have...damn proud I have it!

10. Lawyer...my family said I make a good lawyer...and since there are no lawyers in any of my other relations's family(for the time being)...why not be the first? The pioneer! Haha...was a debater back in my school...for two years...since they needed a Malay girl who can speak fluent English(some how I don't know how they can turn to me!)...always got scolded for not trying to avoid it...it's not my fault I speak better English than the rest of my CM(that's country men for you!)...another ability I realised I just had in me...I can argue and win my case...hehe!

I really got no clue on what I want to do...hopefully God can shed some light on the long and winding(not to mention dim) road I have now set foot on...I hope that He can make my conscience clear...so that I will not have to regret the decisions I have made later when I grow older...and that I will not have to go through what Robert Frost had to go through in The Road Not Taken...bye!

Careers...

Ok...I'm back...haven't done much lately...these are my career options, after days of sitting and pondering over everything that has happened in the past few days...

1. Psychologist...hmmm...reason being it's in demand...furthermore ever since the whole tsunami aftermath happened...I heard that there was this child who stopped talking completely ever since the tsunami killed his parents...and that there are children traumatised over this aftermath...I feel for them...

2. Journalist...basically loquacious...so might get lucky in this field...get to interview people...get to travel a lot...but I dunno much...mum says I'm more of a KPC(kay-poh-chee)...hehe...so yeah this one fits me well!

3. Teacher...huh? What on Earth is this one doing here? Well...ever since Bavani told me bout the scholarship to Oxford to teach Science and Maths in English...been pondering over it ever since...might be a good break...but must ask a few people's thoughts on it...

For now I'll give you top three choices...be back later...going Seremban + Melaka tomorrow...will only be back on Sunday...going for next week's Education Fair...yay...guess what? *He* asked to meet him in Mid Valley...like 'hello, I go out with my family...I never go out alone!'...crazy fella...we'll see...need to 'sweet talk' someone...keeping my fingers crossed..hope it works...bye!

Sweet memories fill my troubled mind...

Ok...Miss Troublecauser is here...got up like damn early...7.00am...we were supposed to go to Tesco in Mutiara Damansara...but plan dah tukar...so went to Mak Ngah's house to sort the plumbing things out...Farhana, my cousin is going to work soon...she has already taken up driving...me? Nothing...zilch...zero! But both of us got one thing in common...we haven't started cooking yet...=)...told *him* I won't online cos I was out...he replied *hi*...mangkuk of the year...then went to Bangsar Shopping Complex...Cold Storage was the stop...bought some chocolates for Uncle Mahendran's family...in Seremban and Melaka...just remembered that I'm supposed to go there this weekend...damn then cannot go for the education fair...s**t! Then bought some sweets and chocolates...got me thinking bout *him*...heard Ryan Cabrera's 'True' on the way on my CD player...I cried...that song really gets me...I don't cry all the time, just when I think of *him* only do the tears flow...sweet song...told Dad bout the thing Bavani told me...the scholarship to teach Science and Maths in English at Cambrigde or Oxford...he said I should apply...if I'm interested...since it's in demand...though my heart's set on psychology...must talk to dad. Nevermind bout this week's education fair, there's another one next week. Going on Saturday I guess, can't believe he remembered bout it...the Wisma MCA thingy. I thought only girls remember all this type of 'sappy'(well, that's what Dan told Miera) things. Turns out *he* does...that's so damn sweet...really puts a big smile on my face =)
Anyway...no clue on what I'm doing tomorrow...that's it for now...catch you guys later...oh yeah, he said he wants me to learn how to cook...no way! So that he can taste it, it seems! I'm never going to cook for anyone...! Hehe...but seriously I'll never cook for anyone...depends on the situation really! Hahahahaha...bye!

Back to school sesh...

School's started on Monday. Nikki's sad though...claims she enjoys staying home and playing around, but she's glad she's in school as she got new friends and she can teach me new things, it seems! I told her to enjoy her schooling life, it's best times of her lives...might be going to the Star Education Fair on Saturday...what I want to do? It's either Clinical or Child Psychology...different really! Child Psychology is where you treat children whereas Clinical Psychology is where you get to treat patients(adults)...so I really don't know what psychology I want to do...most probably Child Psychology, though Clinical Psychology is where the cash comes in(though I'm not really money-minded!). I'll get a talk with my parents, then I know what I want to do...why psychology? I really don't know who on Earth gave me this idea really...it's more of the fact that I wanted to be different from my other family members: lecturers, doctors, dentist, interior designer, architects and so on, no lawyers in my family though! I don't think I'm cut out to be a lawyer, though my family claims I can be a good one. It's interesting to study about human behaviour. Apart from that, there a very few psychologists in Malaysia, so I'm just filling up the requirements. So that's why I want to be a psychologist. Many of them asked me why psychology? Mum and dad were surprised. They wanted me to be an accountant...ME, working in a bank? No way...but then they were cool with it..they support my decision =). One day Mrs.Pala asked me why I wanted to be something that doesn't bring in money? Dad explained it to her, she understood my choice, she never saw my dad's explanation in that perspective...at least I have someone to back me up now! ^_^
Miera reminded me that if I become a psychologist, the first patient is *him*...hehe...that was a deal between me and *him*...I work in his office...as a part-time secretary and a part-time psychologist it seems! Hehe...he sent me a message...saying that he's standing in front of Wisma MCA...the place where we had our first long talk together...he remembered! I passed by there on New Year's eve and remembered it...today he tells me about it...that's so darn sweet...he actually remembered anyway, I have to go now, bye!

New Year celebrations...

Hey there...apart from all the SMS I sent to my friends to wish them HAPPY NEW YEAR yesterday...and the phone call sessions, I visited my relations(dad's side)...went to OTK...met Dayani and her parents there...I went to Penang Uncle's house for lunch at about two...had some delicious 'kiribath'(it's a Sri Lankan delicacy)...my favourite food when the New Year comes...ate with some 'ikan bilis' sambal(though I have low tolerance towards spicy food!)...then went to Kakak Padmini's house...had a lot of fun there...disturbing Suja...haha...=)! They told us they didn't know how to use the touch lamp...they didn't even know it was a touch lamp =)...basically we were laughing our heads off when we heard that...the Uncle Muthu and Aunt Lalitha came there...then we went home at about six...gave Lilee and Miera a buzz for few minutes...they were in Bangsar...I think in Jack's place or Dawson's...then at night about 8.30 p.m. I think we went to Dayani's place...saw Penang Uncle and his wife, Raviena and her family there...the whole house was noisy...everyone was laughing, screaming and cheering...well the Liverpool-Chelsea match was going on...Chelsea won...though I'm not so pleased with the win...Liverpool should have been awarded a penalty for that obvious handball...a draw would have been fine...Liverpool played well...just their luck...Joe Cole's deflected shot was the winner...I think what Jose Mourinho said is true...Joe gets spirited when he scores a goal...and then he's playing like s**t...though the last word wasn't that...but it meant that...making jokes bout Kakak Ragini 'feng shui' thingy, the car thingy, and eveything else...Raviena really gave my brain some teasings...all of them were asking riddles I was like 'Just because I'm no longer in school...doesn't mean you guys can bully me!'...very funny...enjoyed myself there...though I didn't quite like the remark Kakak Ragini asked me...'Why Rowena, you cold is it?'...I was wearing a jacket to cover up...cos I was wearing the sleeveless tee inside...told mum that next time I want to wear sleeveless means, I'll wear it like that without jackets...I mean they were so shocked when I wore the yellow sleeveless top without jackets...that Suren even asked me'You're wearing this?'...but his sister wears sleeveless outfits, no one says anything...that's really hypocritical right? Nevermind them...came back home bout 11.30p.m. and watched Devdas for a while...sad ending...*He* sent me a message at 1.2o this morning telling me that Devdas is a nice movie...his situation is like that...I told Miera bout it...she just said 'You marry someone else...he will get drunk and resort to someone else...and then die?'
I was laughing...hahaha...'kisah cinta agung' was the tagline...watched it once before...hated the ending...damn sad...he will die in front of her house...she won't get to see him outside her house as she could go and see him, the gates are shut...sad, ain't it? Ok I got to go now...peace out! Supposed to start my resolutions today...hehe!

MY NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS...

Hey folks...HAPPY NEW YEAR 2005! Hehe...guess it's that time of the year again to sit and write my new year's resolutions...despite the fact I don't stick to them...well...at least I try to, ok??? Okay...here's the 2005's new year's resolutions...

1. I must learn how to cook!(required in my CV for my mother-in-law!)
2. I must learn how to ride the bicycle!(I know...pathetic and shameful, isn't it?)
3. I must learn how to get up early!(getting lazy lately!)
4. I must lose weight!(again...last time I weighed myself I was 49kg...I want to be at least 45 or 47kg...)
5. I must not be ungrateful!(really...done a lot of hurtful things to my loved ones!)
6. I must learn how to control my temper and not get angry so easily!(accomplished this one last year...need to tone it down a bit!)
7. I must not be vain!(I can't help it! I'm a young lady...it's natural for me to be vain!

I don't want to come up with so many unresolved resolutions...hehe=)! So this is a very short one...going to Dayani's house later...I'll give you guys the full insight of what happened today(01.01.2005)tomorrow...love...*KyAnn*(sounds sweeter than *AnnRowenaMicky*...this is the remix!)...haha...^_^