Me??? Don't ask...

-Btw, just wanted to irritate you bout this thing...

*Luna-cy*
*Luna-tic*
*Luna= colour pencils*

At least Tea is better k? What u think if his girl married either one of Beckham's sons???-

Jay, I swear, if you say another word of little Luna, I will slap you! And please, don't even think of match-making her with either Brooklyn, Romeo, or even Cruz Beckham okay? So incompatible! I'll slap you if you do it again!

Tuesday was incredibly a horrendous day. My dad woke up at 8.45 a.m. despite the fact I woke him up from 8 a.m.! And as usual the blame game will fall on me. He said I only woke him up when I was done bathing. I finished bathing at 8.30 a.m. and I woke him up then too...do you expect me to wake him up every 5 minutes while I'm in the loo? I don't think so! Anyway it's pointless to argue with anyone here at home. Nothing good will come out of it...left at 9.30 a.m. and reached there 20 minutes later! I had half a mind to ask my brother to send me for classes since he was on leave today, thinking my dad wouldn't wake up by 9 a.m.! The whole day was so bad that I don't want talk about it. But I'll spare you the lousy things anyway. Took my kebaya from the tailor, and then went to look for the long kerongsang. Apparently, no shop I know seems to be selling it. Damn! And then my dad asks me(since he didn't follow since he claims he has a back ache-but we pretty much knew it was one of those andropausal moments he seems to be having) whether I bought shoes. I didn't know I had to buy shoes, since the last time I asked bout shoes, he criticised me. Nothing new, I say.

Funny how the Chinese community in my area can spend a few thousand ringgit to buy firecrackers for Chinese New Year but not for our National Day. Funny how we can proudly chant other anthems but not our national anthem, Negaraku. Funny how we can put up posters of our favourite rock stars, but not our very own Jalur Gemilang. Funny, ain't it? Malaysia, HAPPY 48TH BIRTHDAY. May you continue to prosper with the diverse and rich culture you have been bestowed with. May the forefathers who fought hard for your independence for everyone be richly blessed for their efforts in gaining a free nation for your future generation to hold, to see, and to hold on to it and never let you go at all costs. HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY, EVERYONE.

And Lysa, HAPPY BIRTHDAY...18 and all grown up! Keep on rocking sweetie! Next 18th birthday coming up...MINE! Call me sometime ok?

And now, Michael Owen is joining Newcastle United. I really wished he joined Liverpool. Still, it his decision and solely his. Welcome back to the EPL to Michael Owen then! *Bluesy* out!

First day

I think the good news outweighs the bad news for today. Firstly, I was almost late for class. We left the house at 7.35 a.m.! My class was at 8 a.m. but somehow I reached there at 7.55 a.m.! Thought I was late so I walked pretty fast. Slowed down a little to see where the lecture hall was. A girl was pretty much was blur like me. Turns out that she was in my group too. Her name's Su Tze. She's the first friend I made today. Then met two other girls, Ranchithaa and Kylie. A good start to the morning then. First class was Intermediate English...the lecturer got the wrong attendance list. And then she got us to introduce ourselves. I was planning what to say, but strangely, when it came to my turn, all the words which were in my head just vanished into thin air! My mind just went blank, I almost stammered, but I gained my confidence slowly. Then I mentioned about my hobbies. *Watching TV, football and F1* was what I said. And this guy just tells me *The guys will LOVE you*...which was followed by a series of laughter. And then she asked me why I joined HELP to which I replied *I have a cousin here*. And then she goes *Who is your cousin?*. And I went *He's a lecturer here, his name is Ravi Varman*. And then she said *Oh Ravi!*. And then she asked us to write about how we felt about stepping into HELP for the first time. I wrote an essay similar to one of my blog posting. And then she asked me whether I was Indian Muslim or what, since my cousin is an Indian. So I explained to her that I'm a Malay mixed Sri Lankan-Sinhalese, and that he married my cousin (technically he's my cousin-in-law). Then the four of us (as in Kylie, Su Tze, Ranjitha, and I) went out for breakfast(I did take breakfast, somehow I got a wee bit hungry). First we went to Dunkin Donuts then changed our minds and decided to eat at the mamak shop there. Had tosai. Then back down in college. Waited for Su Tze and Ranjitha to register their subjects. Sat down for a while. Kylie is so resourceful...she actually came on Saturday to draw a map of the whole main campus! Then had Finite Mathematics...the lecturer was slightly boring, somehow towards the end, it became a bit more interesting and I was feeling cold. Then, finished classes and went home. Met Manpreet and she told me that if I needed text books, I can inform her. Thanks Manpreet...and a small thank you goes out to Swarna for informing her. Thanks a lot sweetie! And I found out something...Ranjitha supports Arsenal! No biggie to me, since most Arsenal and Chelsea fans get along well. Unlike most MU and Chelsea fans. For example, Jay and Mar. Jay and me. Jay and Eliza. Haha...

All in...a good first day. Let's see what tomorrow holds for us. Anyhow, my dad hates Frank Lampard for God knows what reason, but likes JT! Weird don't you think? And Raikkonen should not move to Ferrari at all costs. Despite the fact I'd have both my fancied drivers in the same team. Kimi Raikkonen and Felipe Massa in Ferrari! But still I think it's morally wrong for him to go there. And my dad's dislike for Jose Mourinho continues. He said that JM looks like a 60 year old man with his white hair, despite the fact he's 42 years old. I don't know bout my dad, but I think JM is an attractive man in his forties who speaks his mind unabashedly. I hope you people don't think I'm falling for him...he's like Richard Gere...a man with greying hair but still makes girls go completely head over heels for him! Lala...

That's it for now...tune in tomorrow! *Bluesy* out

Tired...

I'm tired...physically and mentally. For once I thought *Okay might be a good day to sleep till 9 a.m. I think*...but as usual I was wrong. I had to attend a function in Mak Long's house. *Sighs* tired. Mum was like *The thing starts at 12 p.m. which means we must reach there by 11 a.m.* Eventually left the house at 11 a.m. and then arrived there at 11.55 a.m. (thanks to my brother's maniacal sort of driving- sorry!)...and saw that no one was there! Thinking we got the wrong venue, mum called Kak Rene. We were at the right place. Only thing was that we were the first to arrive! This is new...we always (I mean ALWAYS) arrive fashionably late. This time around, we were *fashionably early*! *Pecah rekod betul!!!* Met all the jingbangs (I have a large extended family who do not live in centralised areas!) there...oh yeah, like to take this moment to thank Kak Wanie for actually telling me that she updated her blog...haha! Thanks a lot Kak Wanie...been damn busy to actually visit her blog this whole week! In fact, I didn't visit anyone's blogs at all...bad!

Anyhow it's getting late and my Internet is acting up of late. So I better call it day. Will update on certain things tomorrow. HOPEFULLY. Good night people! *Bluesy* out!

HELP me out!

*Sighs loudly* I wrote an incredibly long post earlier, but then I got disconnected and everything I typed earlier on was missing! How frustrating is that??? Anyhow, here's a review of what happened on Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and today.

Tuesday- Went to the bank. Then went to the tailor's shop. My blue kebaya is to die for(in my humble opinion that is)! But I might not attend the wedding. Let's just say I have some issues that requires tissues to deal with. Other than that, nothing much.

Wednesday- Went to the bank. Then went to The Mall to buy some stuff for college. Bought a dark purple top from Body Glove, two jeans from VJ and Applemints, a belt from UnionBay (a blue one to boot...I'm in love!), and two doggie tags. Tiring, tiring day.

Thursday- Went to Brickfields to get my aunt's new pair of hearing aids. Then went to get some stuff from TOC. Then had lunch in YMCA. I'm starting to believe that I'm allergic to eggs. The grilled fish that I ordered was coated in egg and I felt nauseated just eating it! Then went to Ampang Park, and then back to town go get the shawls. Bought 3 shawls...blue, black and white. Then a blackout occured somewhere later in the night. What a great way to cap the end of my 8 months of doing absolutely nothing but bumming around at home??? Tiring, tiring, tiring day yet again.

Friday- Orientation day! I was virtually alone the whole time. So for some of you reading this, it's is very unusual for you to hear me say this since you guys know me as the chatterbox. Non-stop talking! But yesterday, I was timid, shy and felt really insignificant like a mouse! I was pretty lonely...that I'm actually wondering if I'll make any friends at all. It rained during the lunch break! At first I didn't want to go for lunch but then, I know I had to suffer some serious consequences if I decide not to go for lunch, so I went for lunch. Came out from one exit, and I didn't know where I was! I couldn't find McDonald's! I WAS LOST!!! Sonehow, finally I managed to locate McDonald's. Then had another briefing after that...then had to register 4 subjects which I had to do this semester and met Manpreet. At least she lifted my loneliness a bit. I'm in Group A...and the groupings were done based on our SPM English results. Does this mean my English is perfect??? Hmm...you be the judge. Might decide to join the Toastmasters since my dad had said he wanted me and my brother to join it for quite some time already, Circle K since I need to get involved in social work, and if there is one, the futsal club since I'm not allowed to play football with my gang anymore. Who said girls can't kick balls??? I don't know why I felt so shy that day...probably because I was using the shawl which I'm not too comfortable with. Whatever my dad may say about me getting influenced by other people, I'll stay true to my REAL self, which unfortunately no one really knows, save Miera (I think so). Called Sree and talked for an hour...and she asked me bout the chomping issue and she said I should put it up on the blog. Like I said before, wait for it.

Funny don't you think? No matter how hard I try to show people that I've grown up...they say that I'm immature. Whole load of rubbish, I say. I guess I'm not as extroverted like some people I know, the bunch who doll themselves up and can *polish apples* better than me. I told you, I'm insignificant, not pretty, and unable to *polish apples* so well. Do I think it's a disadvantage if I'm like that? NO. LIKE I SAID BEFORE AND NOW...I WILL NOT CHANGE FOR ANYONE, ANYTIME OR ANYWHERE. SO TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT! I really want to blog bout this, but then I know some people read my blog and might get offended in some ways, so I think it's better best if I leave this matter alone. For once my dad agreed with me on this issue. People don't see me the way my family and most of my close friends do. They see me as a stupid little girl. What they don't know is...I can be a good friend but a bad enemy. I'm blunt. I tend to say things that I really don't intend to say when I'm angry. I'm very opinionated.

Chelsea WON!!! Duff's goal...WOW! Del Horno's first goal for Chelsea...WOW!!! I'm impressed. Good night then. *Bluesy* out!

You're a Star...

Good news first! CHELSEA WON! THEY BEAT ARSENAL 1-0! THANKS TO DROGBA! JAY, WHAT DID I TELL YOU BOUT SENDEROS PLAYING FOR ARSENAL AGAINST CHELSEA? OUR CHANCES OF WINNING WILL SOAR SKY-HIGH, RIGHT??? IT DID!

Okay, enough of that already. I'm getting way excited about it now! Dad's not too pleased bout it, by the way.

Went to Dr. Rahim's clinic in the morning. My cough seems to be subsiding, but it's still there. Then went to the hearing aid shop to get a new pair of hearing aids for my aunt. Then came back, instead of going to the tailor. So we are going to the tailor tomorrow. Which means I can go buy some stuff for myself. And yes, for some people that my dad has been planning to buy some stuff for.

I've been listening to The Killers of late. They are wonderful. And when I was in the car, I was noticing that the sunlight which shone on me, made me see something I have never seen before. I looked at myself in the car window, I saw how sweet and naive I looked. That look is the look that everyone sees and thinks I'm really stupid or something, I don't know, brainless human being. But then, I looked at myself again and said *You're sweet. You know you are. You're a sweetheart. You know you are. You're pretty. You don't know you are.* I know...everyone is pretty in their own way. It's just a matter of time we see it for ourselves, I suppose.

I have this weird feeling of NOT putting up the 2 messages like I promised. It's not like I'm scared. I'm not an avid fan of *kiss-and-tell* love stories. To me, that's more for women for have no sense of dignity or pride in themselves. But somehow, I just want to clear the air. So that people won't see me as a heartless person and end up no longer loving me. I might, I might not. God knows better than me.

Later days then.

Death...again.

I hate the month of August, especially this year. Seems to me like people I know die in this month. First, it was Navee's dad. Then, it was my dad's friend's(who is from Singapore) brother. Now, it's a family friend! Uncle Kugae passed away yesterday due to a heart attack(I think). I wanted to go for the funeral, but my dad said I should just stay at home, since I'm recovering. If I hear there is a funeral of someone I know, I'd very much like to go, just to see how the deceased looked like before the body is cremated or buried. You know, it's like looking at them asleep, it's like they left the world peacefully. I am weird, right? That's just one of the things that makes me truly unique! Well, in my humble opinion, that is! It seems that he went out to the Cheers pub on Friday till 5 a.m.! They went out to celebrate his coming 50th birthday. Sad, ain't it? But like what I always believe in:

*Smokers and alcoholics should be marooned off on a deserted island, so that they can harm themselves as much as they please, and leave us who loathe such acts, ALONE!!!*

Okay, I can sense that I'm being slightly insensitive here...so, sorry to those who are hurt with what I said earlier on.

Other than that...that shocking pink-haired lady named Xerra from Malaysian Idol has been voted out of the competition. That leaves us with 6 other finalists, and next week's theme is *Rock*, which should give Faizull the upper hand, since it's his forte. And you know what? I have been saying that I want any one of the finalists to sing *Mr. Brightside* by The Killers. It would bring the house down on Friday! But, I swear, if that Daniel sings that song, I will slap him, for sure!

Apart from that, Kimi Raikkonen won the inaugural Turkish GP, ahead of Fernando Alonso, who somehow managed to clinch 2nd spot from Juan Pablo Montoya, no thanks to Tiago Monteiro who broke the rear diffuser of Montoya's car! So right now, I'd very much like to slap Alonso and Monteiro for denying Juan Pablo of second spot! So the next race is in Monza, in another 2 weeks time. Let's hope Kimi wins the Drivers Championship and McLaren Mercedes will win the Constructors Championship as well...and my mum is saying I should stop saying *I slap him* and the likes. I will only say it if it involves someone I dislike from some other team apart from Chelsea and McLaren Mercedes. And yes, anyone BUT Daniel will NOT get a slap from me. Haha...

I saw Farid Kamil this morning on TV3...I got darn excited all of a sudden! Then I saw William Quah(NTV7) in today's newspaper, I got extremely excited again! *Sighs* I am weird, right?

I love listening to The Killers! I have been listening to the album for the past 3 days already! The songs in the *HOT FUSS* album are wonderful! And Brendan Flowers has got a remarably great voice! I wish everyone would just take a moment to listen to the album. They'll get what I mean.

And Chelsea's playing Arsenal tonight! I hope they win! Otherwise it's rather shameful, since we are the title holders, and wouldn't want to lose to Arsenal, who are considered as the one of the hot contenders to win the Premiership title this season.

And that's a wrap. Good night...since I have to go and take my blue kebaya tomorrow. My God, it's lovely! *Bluesy* out!*

Vengeance...

Firstly I want to say sorry for the lack of updates for the past 2 days. I was very sick on Wednesday. Had a fever and an equally bad sore throat and cough! Then yesterday, we went out for a movie. Let me tell you what happened yesterday then.

Woke up at 5.30 a.m. and never went back to sleep after that. Checked my mail, only to see someone sent me 2 messages on Friendster, to say how *I turned around and bit his head off*! Ouch...I didn't know I was that vicious! Muahaha...I don't want to put that messages up at the moment, since Thursday was a freaking great day for me! Then went to bathe, when it started raining! It rained until noon! So we had to postpone the plan to the afternoon. And Sham couldn't make it since she had diarrhoea! So Swarna and I had to continue with the plan. Went to KLCC to watch Charlie and Chocolate Factory, but my parents wanted to watch Herbie: Fully Loaded. I didn't want to the latter since Lindsay Lohan was in it. It's not like I'm having something against her or what, but there's something about her that I don't like! The movie was at 4 p.m., and we bought the tickets at 3.15 p.m., so we went round looking around for things to give my neighbour and my niece. And my mum. Didn't get anything much for 45 minutes, so went back to TGV to see the movie. And boy, was Charlie and the Chocolate Factory delicious! It was such a delight...from the Oompa Loompas to Wonka chocolate bars, to the elevator to the television room, and even from Charlie Bucket to Willy Wonka himself! I so feel like watching it again. During the boat ride, I felt like I was in the Indiana Jones ride back in Disneyland California so much that I got a wee bit tensed up! And the whole time me and Swarna were watching the movie, this little boy sitting behind us was kicking our chairs! Not only that he was shouting and talking, worse still he'd open a packet of food so loudly since he was standing behind me and Swarna! And everytime we turned around, he'd sit back in his seat quietly! But still, the movie is great and I think people who'd like to enjoy a second shot of childhood should go watch it! Parents...pfft with them! My dad said the moral of the story was good but the movie was stupid! He has no sense of childishness...like I said: *Parents...pfft with them!* I felt like eating chocolate then, but since this bloody sore throat I have forbids me to eat chocolates, so goodbye chocolates! Then had a snack in the food court. I only had a fresh orange. And when I was paying the drinks, the guy at the counter almost gave the change to another man. And then he nearly charged Swarna for her drink, again! Then went to Watson's where we met the contestants of *Olay Aspirasiku* there. They were selling the brand to us...and in the end, we bought one(including Swarna)...then we had a lucky draw. We got ourselves CDs...I got this *Shamrin-The Best of Me* and *Shahira-Shahira* albums. Swarna got this *Amir UK's-Best OF* album. Then they said Dina would be coming later since she was having dinner(wonder where she had her dinner then?). And then bought a sponge and Maybelline Fruity Jelly Lip Gloss. And people, if you see me on TV3 on Sunday 12 p.m., please DO NOT inform me. I have absolutely no intentions of watching myself on TV, unless of course I get to meet Joe Cole. Then spotted some cute kids...as usual I'd go *OMG...they're so cute!* We actually saw a little girl get left behingd by her family. She was damn adorable! Then we went to Memory Lane to get something for mum. Then went to Tower Records to buy the *Hot Fuss* album by The Killers. I couldn't find it so asked the guy at the counter for help. And then he said there was one left. *Whee* The Killers are great!!! Then went to Ampang Park for dinner, where incredibly I threw up in the loo. Not a pretty sight, trust me! Then sent Swarna home and gave her that small, tiny gift...Swarna if you are reading this, it's the thought that counts ok? I had a great time yesterday, and maybe if Sham comes back later on, we plan something again. This time let's hope she's fine! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO SWARNA who officially turns 18 today!

And now, I have this strange feeling of singing *Willy Wonka*...and Johnny Depp looks a lot like Jim Carrey in this movie. The maniacal look he had was similar to Jim Carrey's Ace Ventura character! And he looked so white as though he just met a ghost! But, still, he is entertaining! Tim Burton is a great director! These 2 have great chemistry!

Good night everyone! *Bluesy*out!

Elsie...

Yesterday, I was sneezing the whole day. It is unusual. I sneeze after I take my bath or when I wake up in the morning. Today, I'm not sneezing anymore, but I woke up with a sore throat. And now, I almost had a fever and a cough! After taking that Panadol Actifast, I noticed my fever has gone down. But my sore throat is still around. Worse still, I've taken some cough mixture and tablets to reduce the pain, to the extent of drinking glasses of water, but to no avail! What am I to do? And tomorrow's plan of going out has been postponed to Thursday. But now my dad has suggested that we go to either Suria KLCC or One Utama! So if we go on Thursday, we can go watch Charlie and the Chocolate Factory! Yay...and I have time to buy some stuff for myself. A girl's day out! *Whee*...more importantly, I need to buy a present for my mum! But first, I need to get well! Pray that I'm well enough to go out on Thursday. And I'm not watching Desperate Housewives tonight...*cries*! At least I'm taping it, so I can still watch it. And the worst thing is my dad said that I shouldn't watch Desperate Housewives! I remember last week's episode he was sitting there with me watching it. And there was this part when Bree(damn, if only I were like her!) was discussing the *sensations* she feels when she makes love with her husband. I think my dad thought I might get influenced. Sheesh...I'm gonna be 18 already(in another 1 1/2 months time)...I have to know all this! LOL...will I stop watching it for my dad? The answer: NO! I will not give up Desperate Housewives for someone! I refuse to do it!

Anyhow, have to get some rest now. See you all soon...muax! Good night...*Bluesy* out!

Hayley Jade...

*Sniffs* I miss my Swarna-nito! Sham-ito said she's okay...my parents said okay too! So now only you left...if you say okay, now must finalise where, what and when on Wednesday! So can't wait for Wednesday, if things work out well. My dad said yes when I said that Sham, Swarna and I planned to do something together! In fact he said that we'll go together but when we want to do our stuff, he and my mum will do something else while we hang out together! Oh well, I guess he's okay with these two girls since they've known each other for quite some time already. And yes, I know, my parents want some time to go *dating* as well...so I'm in a way doing them a favour! A good daughter, I am!

I have a new habit...I like calling people I know by their full name and *-ito* behind it. Like Miera's name is Mar-ito...Lysa's Lysa-ito...Della's Della-ito...me? Zara-nito!

Went to see Uncle Suren's child, Ruth Susila. The child is so adorable, but is so small! I mean, she looks a lot smaller than how my brother and I looked like when we were babies! Overall, she's so adorable!!! Aunt Audrey said Ruth can be my test subject if ever I need to conduct an experiment to prove my theories on psychology. Haha...

Why do people say I've lost so much of weight? So weird...it seems like people I know keep saying that. The other day, my firt ever tuition teacher, Mrs. Fernandez came over and I saw her, and she said that I've grown so much and I look young. And today, Uncle Suren said I have lost so much of weight! *Sighs* and I thought I am getting fatter!

Chelsea won the match against Wigan! 1-0??? Damn embarassing really...the fact we won is a huge relief. But by winning 1-0 over a team that has just been promoted to the Premier League??? Not exactly something you can be actually proud. If you are a Chelsea fan, that is. Jeevan is, I can bet you, laughing at me and Mar right now. Wigan have potential to be a powerhouse in the Premier League, I think that other teams should fear Wigan. I have a strong feeling they won't be relegated next season. I know it's too early to predict anything now, but let's just say I have a hunch. My gut feeling is tingling like mad right now...I saw Joe Cole again, got high as usual...*Oohwhee*...I'm acting crazy again!

Anyhow, gotta get going...see you all soon. *Bluesy* out! Good night!

Me...la-la!

Ejay is out of the Malaysian Idol competition. Damn, I wanted Daniel to leave tonight! So sickening. Farah, are we on with our plan to slap Daniel? I can't control my right hand which is used to slap people any longer! Argh...

Went to the TTDI market this morning. I know what's on your mind. So far? I have been eating chicken for a whole week. If not, I had to eat chicken liver or eggs! And it is said that eating chicken enhances your breast size. No wonder I feel like my breasts have grown. LOL...so if anyone wants to increase their breast size, eat chicken. LOL! Wish I knew something that will make me taller though! So we had to buy fish and beef. The fish smell was enough to kill my mood for breakfast. And when we went to the beef shop, I turned away when the man started slicing the meat, and when I turned around again I saw the cow's tail hanging from one corner! Just like that! I felt so *geli* and giddy seeing it! And people eat that part of a cow which is used to swat flies and the likes? I am sick. *Throws up*...

Anyhow...Arsenal won over Newcastle 2-0...let's see how Chelsea fares against Wigan Athletic then. If they lose, like I said in my earlier post...EMBARASSING! Losing to a club that have been newly-promoted is not a good thing, considering the fact we won the Premiership last year. Embarassing situation I must deal with if they lose. Arsenal and Manchester United have started their season with a win. *Prays hard* CHELSEA MUST WIN!!!!!

*The person with the body is Rowena, while the person with the soul is Zara Julian*
*I am ordinary. I like to be plain. For example, I don't put tomato/chilli sauce on my fries/burgers but, at times I enjoy doing things most girls don't do...like playing football with the boys, or even spying on people from the balcony*
*I enjoy watching football and F1...and guys, don't think I'm a girl who watches them in order to look at the 'hotness' of the players! That is NOT me. I watch them because I enjoy those two sports with all my heart!*
*I have a tendency to say 'I want to slap this fella' especially when I watch other teams play against my team, Chelsea and also when I watch F1 races! The usual victims would be Francesc Fabregas, Wayne Rooney, Cristiano Ronaldo, Michael Schumacher, David Coulthard, and Fernando Alonso*
*I recently noticed that I get adrenaline rushes when I see Joe Cole. But that doesn't mean I've forgotten bout Frank Lampard though! So don't call me an unfaithful bitch if you don't know me AT ALL!*
*I'm brutally honest and very blunt, so if you dont like what I say, I strongly suggest that you pack your bags and book the first flight to Timbuktu.*
*I write poetry when I get headaches/sleepy & love MUSIC!*
*I have a penchant for people like Farid Kamil, Jehan Miskin, and Anuar Zain, but in reality I like people from mixed parentages, like me(I'm from a Sri Lankan-Sinhalese and Malay parentage)! But I know, everyone is unique in their own way. It's just a matter of time we discover it for ourselves*
*I'm a firm believer in singularity/individuality! I want to escape the norm and be who I really am. I also believe in versatility. Versatility does matter to me. That's what makes a person uniquely beautiful, deep inside and out!*
*I'm very adamant and defiant when it comes to making decisions, which mostly end up being the wrong ones I make, but like the song says ~Don't look back in anger~*
*Take me as I am, if not, leave!*

*Bijoux Julian*

Changed my Friendster profile...what do you think? Good night everyone! *Bluesy* out!

Me...changing?

I don't really know what to say of myself lately. I've been getting very blunt and sarcastic to most people that get on my nerves. I'm getting restless too. I go to bed at 11 p.m. and finally sleep at 2 a.m.! And when I wake up, let's say at 8.30 a.m., my body is awake but my mind is still in *shut down mode*. And every time that happens, I feel a sharp pain in my head. I feel like a nail is being driven straight through my temples! I'm really worried if this situation were to happen when I start classes soon! But Mar said that once I start classes, this situation will just fade! My mind is incredibly active at night, so much so that I have to sing myself to sleep! And I find that I sleep better when I sleep on the sofa, much to the dismay of my parents. Once I put my head on the cushion, I doze off instantaneously! I suppose it's because of the fact that the TV is situated in front of the sofa, so it supposedly motivates me to sleep. Haha...

My mum thinks I'm getting rather blunt day by day. I always fight back whenever we argue. And she says that my mouth will land me in trouble one of these days. I have a small problem now. I don't want to sound too nice because if I do, people will think that I'm naive and a weakling and they can take advantage of me. I don't want to sound too blunt either, if not people will think I'm some stuck-up, cocky and arrogant young lady with issues. I said to my mum that I will only show my true colours if the need arises. I'm glad I don't have to listen to insipid love songs and try to relate them with what I'm going through. I'm tired of that crap already! I just enjoy listening Kelly Clarkson and Marion Raven.

I just found out something quite interesting. You know the background music in that Pepsi football ad with the waves and surfers? It's from the song by The Black Eyed Peas entitled *Pump It*...I love that ad...Somehow I found Ronaldinho's hair in that ad a turn on! But that doesn't mean I like him, okay? I still hate him!!!

And I don't know why I'm saying this, but I just feel like it, Lindsay Lohan is to music is like what chalk is to cheese. I just don't like her and Hilary Duff. Me and my inner self having a small conflict, yet again! And Gregory Brown playing the piano reminds me of Jamie Cullum. Strange thoughts keep running through my mind. And I suppose someone got the message already. Ah...life's just got to be free!

And if Chelsea lose to Wigan, it will be an ultimately embarassing situation for us to explain! I have faith in Chelsea beating them...Just hope Frank Lampard scores! Or even Joe Cole...LOL! I am so crazy now!

Anyway, gotta run now! See you soon...*Bluesy* out!

SarahZid...

I really feel like slapping someone desperately. I sent my light green material to the tailor. And my gut feeling came true. Something went wrong with my baju kurung! My kain, is inside out! Argh...how bad can this get? And I told my mum bout it, and she said it looks better the way it is! Argh...I need to slap someone now! The only consolation is that I'm not going for the 'nikah' ceremony, since I might be having classes on Friday. There goes a perfect baju kurung. Gone to absolute waste. I might not wear it AT ALL...considering the fact I AM VERY METICULOUS BOUT MY THINGS! Argh...anyone who needs a good slap now?

Supposed to buy furnitures tomorrow...I'm gonna get my own room soon! I will wreak more havoc than ever! LOL...Let's get something blue, shall we? Which means I'll get the whiteboard all for myself...muahahahaha! And yes, I can post my Chelsea scraps on the walls! *Whee*...I beat my brother for the room! And I got the room with a view! LOL...

Anyhow...I have to seriously get going...getting depressed with the fact I haven't gone on a holiday for the past 8 months I was at home. *Sighs*...2 weeks to kill, by the way.

And I'd like to take this moment to wish Bairavi...HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY DEAR! Love you too! And I hope you liked the present I got you...Sree, I hope you gave it to her! If not, I will slap you. Anyway, *Bluesy* out!

SodhiJulez...

Stupid nutcase. Why on Earth did you call me SodhiJulez, Jay? Idiot, nutcase, nutto! I want to slap you!

And now I've released my anger, I'd like to say how much I hate my HELP Student ID card photo! I look sleepy(believe me, if you have seen any of my photos, you' admit that this photo is by far the *sleepiest* me you've ever seen!)...Argh...wish I had worn another freaking top! Someone should have at least taken the initiative to warn about the consequences of wearing an utterly dull top during a photo shoot! Argh...I HATE LOOKING AT THAT ID! *Slaps herself hard*...*Sighs immediately after that*...Blurriness is a disease that spreads through friendship.

I am deeply frustrated with the fact that the 19th of July, 2005 edition of The Star newspaper is MISSING! Why am I making such a big fuss about a missing paper? The fact that it had a picture of that HOT Joe Cole in black slippers and white socks is the BIG FUSS! Hey, look...I'm not this girl who goes round scouting for hot players then watch football! I support a team, and admire a player's ability, if he has the looks to boot, then good on him! I really admire Joe Cole's footwork, the way he outwits his opponents, the way he scores. So happens he is good looking, can you blame me for liking him even more? I know, he's not as appealing as David Beckham or Michael Owen or even Cristiano Ronaldo for that matter, but he's talented and good looking in my point of view. If you don't agree with what I say, just keep yoour honest opinions to yourself, okay?

But still it doesn't mean just because I adore Joe Cole now, I've forgotten bout my Frank Lampard(I sound as though I own him! LOL...)! Frank will always reign supreme in my head! He's the Chelsea hero, so is John Terry by the way! Love them Chelsea players all too much...

Jose Mourinho is a chocoholic who spends his pocket money in a sweet shop while other kids poke their noses on the window. *Sighs* Wish I could be described like that. Spoilt and powerful...in that description, I'm the latter. *Sighs louder* Wish Roman would sponsor my studies...so that I can ease the financial void my parents have to fill in...

It's getting pretty smoky out there...damn the haze and the Indonesians who are causing this damn haze! If I need to go out to town, I have to use that haze mask! So sickening! Argh...when will this thing end???

Anyway, gotta run now, good night! *Bluesy* out!

Fall to pieces...

Read this meassage I got first:
*so my dear have u thought bout it...? i have not had a reply from u bout my proposal....come on i know it must be hard 4 u 2 do tis .....so y dun we just talk it over k?? cal me wen u can n we will talk it over but as far as i'm concerned....ur proposal of breakainf up is of no interest to me....... cal me later......*


Now read my reply:
*Thought about what? I didn't even know you had a proposal. It was not hard for me to make a decision like this. Don't push me by asking me to call you and talk it over.

If you think my proposal of breaking up is of no interest to you, then I have no interest in talking to you anymore. I can't let you live thinking we have hope. The fact is...we don't. I don't mean to be blunt but this is the truth. And for your info, I have no one new in my life. I just realised that I don't need it now. I just need to be me.

So don't ask me to call you, I've made up my mind. Don't think I'm a confused and stupid little girl that people can easily manipulate. I'm not that girl anymore. Find someone who is right for you. I'm not the one for you.*

I'm too blunt, right? Sree told me that she never expected this kind of attitude from me. Like what I told to Mar, *People who haven't felt my sarcasm deserve it, and people who have felt my sarcasm don't deserve it unless they say something that irks me*....I told you I've changed. In certain aspects, that is. My mates think I have to change considering my classes are going to start in 2 weeks time, but if I do change, I don't want people to walk all over me seeing how nice I am, etc. I've going to show everyone that I am not that small girl that everyone can just trick and manipulate anymore. I have changed, I have expectations, and I have gained the 'old' me back. The one that goes round the whole house singing songs without thinking or analysing the meanings anymore.

I LOVE THAT ME!

I HATE THAT ME WHO USED TO WEEP AND SAPPY LOVE SONGS AND TRY TO LINK THE MEANINGS WITH MY FEELINGS!

I like being the blunt and sarcastic me again. Glad I'm back to square one again! *Whee*...I'm so glad I reverted back to my old self again. Just wished that I could revert back to be the girl who can wake up at 5 a.m. eventhough finally going to bed at 12 a.m. again! *Sighs*

*I love me, and there's nothing you can do about it!*

*Bluesy* out!

Days go by...

It's been a week and almost 2 days already! Yay!!! Couldn't blog yesterday since I was watching the Community Shield at Dayani's place. Chelsea beat Arsenal 2-1! Two goals from man of the match Didier Drogba made Chelsea's night. And I thought that Franscesc Fabregas was French. I only realised that he was a Spaniard today! You can't fully put the blame on me you know? There are SO many French players in Arsenal, it looks like a French revolution is about to begin. Wait, it has already begun! LOL...I got so high looking at Joe Cole again! Ain't he something? *Drools*...okay, I'm not drooling! LOL...

Kept saying *I'LL SLAP THIS LAUREN, FABREGAS, ASHELY COLE etc...* so much that my dad said that *Stop saying all this slapping things all. You're not a man to say all this you know. Stop saying that!*...I don't know why I keep saying that, but it's just that I so feel like slapping a lot of people. For example that Daniel from Malaysian Idol. He's garnering all those Chinese bimbos who think he's SO cute, but he has no substance! In the end, Azam got the boot. He has a good voice. And I thought he'd get the Malay votes like what happened with Saiful. I guess that Malaysians were SO BUSY busy voting for Mawi that they forgot to vote for Azam! I heard from someone that a lot of people think that they prefer not to be classified a Malaysian if either Azam or Adam becomes the next Malaysian Idol because they look so gay-fied. I'd rather not be classified as a Malaysian if Daniel becomes the next Malaysian Idol. Why? He has abso-bloody-lutely no talent and he's way gay-fied than the earlier two! If he doesn't go out and any of my favourites do, I'll denounce Malaysian Idol from my *Favourite TV Shows* list! *Sighs* can I slap Daniel now?

Went to HELP today to get myself registered. And I forgot to take my photographs! I brought the other documents but I forgot my photos! *Bengong betul* was the words that were going through my head at that moment. So maybe this Thursday we have to go to HELP again to get the payment sorted out. The people there were nice, and my mum has already sent a warning to me: *Study hard and get a scholarship!*. Oh dear. I hope I can make it to get a scholarship to ease the financial burden I've left for my parents. *Bad girl*...and I have to start buying stuff for college.

Slept from 2 p.m. to 5:15 p.m. and I so need to revert to my old school-going self. You know, the person who can wake up at 5 a.m. and sleep at 12 a.m.! My new self is the one who wakes up at 9 a.m. and sleeps at 12 a.m.! *Sighs* I can only wake up early if I know we have to go out somewhere. So lazy...like my dad told my cousin: *Her job is to sleep, watch TV, play with the PC, radio, eat, sleep, and sing like there's no tomorrow!*...*falls of the chair and laughs hysterically*

Anyway, goodnight! *Bluesy* out!

I'm so vain...

Today, I've done things I've never done before.

Like watching the final concert of AF3. And to see Mawi's face.

And eating durian. Well, not exactly the fruit, but a kuih containing the fruit!

And drinking teh O. Have to respect the host.

Sham came at 1:30 p.m., talked on and on...said she'll come by most probably next Wednesday. Now have to wait Swarna to confirm the plan. Swarna, best of luck for the exams ok? Call me once you're back. Most probably going to HELP on Monday to get my application sorted out. And I seriously need to get things sorted out next week. I want to keep myself free 2 weeks before my intake. It's what I'd like to call as *planning ahead*...LOL! Went to TTDI to take the rent and went over to Mak Lang's house. Watched the final of AF3. I don't quite fancy Mawi by the way. I liked Marsha and Amylea better. Felix was funny though. But Mawi won , then came Felix, Amylea and Marsha. And people say that Mawi is handsome, gorgeous, etc. I'd rather say Will Young is handsome than Mawi. *Blearh*...

*Sometimes I just go overboard with the things that come out from my mouth.*

Kak Wanie, if you're reading this, very sorry I lifted this line from your blog. But this line really portrayed my feelings when I told my brother something. It happened when I was leaning against his car, and my dad said not to lean on it (considering the fact he hasn't washed it for a VERY long time). And my brother said that I am SO fat that I could've dented his car and my dad only told me that to protect my feeling. Is he trying the insinuate me? Sure, to him, I have no feelings. So rather bluntly, I said *Very priceless-lah your car. Here and there got dents want to say I'm denting your car!*...I can be very blunt if I want to. He asked for it. After what he said about the money I was using to buy my parents presents was his (I get RM50 a month) money, I don't think I should apologise. I'm not at fault. I mean if you're giving the money to me SINCERELY, you don't have to bring it up anymore, saying I'm using YOUR MONEY to buy stuff for my family. It's not like YOU have the thought to buy it for them. It's not like I didn't want to earn money by working( blame my dad for that). I got so mad the other day, I felt like throwing the money back in his face. But then I told my mum to keep the money in the bank, since I didn't feel like holding what was deemed as *something that didn't belong to me*. Looks like I have to depend on my parents to get me WHATEVER I want. I have feelings too. I feel like spending whatever money that I get on myself, but end up using it for other people. And people call me the *loose cannon* of my family. Sheesh...

I noticed that ever since the break-up, I'm using sarcasm and foul language more than ever. Not to hide the sadness, but to prove everyone that I have feelings and more importantly, I was okay dealing with the break-up. *I'm done with the tears, and there are no regrets*, echoed Duncan James. True, no? And it's the first week of the break-up! *Whee*...I don't miss him a single bit! See, I'm stronger than what people perceive. LOL...I'm getting very sarcastic, blunt, and smiley all in one go lately. Weird, huh?

Anyway, gotta run now, Toodles for now...*Bluesy* out!

Death becomes me...

I have to tell you the truth. I felt really sad thinking bout Navee's dad. It's like I *earned* a new life after breaking up. And he lost his life. I feel like I robbed her dad's life so that I can continue with this life. It's two really different situations, but somehow rather strangely connected. I went for the funeral with my dad. Met up with the others at 1:30 p.m., saw Priam, Jho, Sham T., Jerry, Sree, Kalai K., Kay-C, Jaya, and Chang. It was sad to see the family cry. Some of my mates cried, somehow I only cried when they carried the body on the matress. Seeing Navee's mom crying *My husband...* made me cry for a while. The whole time they did the rituals, I didn't cry. It's a like I'm an emotionless robot, programmed not to cry at weddings or funerals. Maybe I inherited it from my dad, who had tears welled up in his eyes but managed not to cry (aww...he's not all that hard, he's got a soft spot too!). One thing I really hated the whole time the rites were going on, was the fact that the neighbours from Navee's block and other blocks were observing the whole time the funeral was going on! For God's sake, someone died, at least have some respect for the family! It's not some orchestra/movie/concert going on there! If only I could poke their eyes! Navee's grandmother (her dad's mother) was crying and said: *Why did you leave me? You're supposed to bury me when I die, not the other way around!*...Navee's sister was inconsolable so much that she said *Saya takkan percaya! Saya takkan percaya!*...and there was this Malay lady who mentioned something that almost meant *tanggung sendiri* but it seemed like I was the only one who heard it. At least, Navee was brave and strong when she was talking to us. And someone from the upper floor threw a piece of *keropok* at my feet! I felt as though my energy had been drained out of my body. And the thing that shocked me was that the father didn't die of a heart attack, but instead of an asthma attack! And I think I was the first friend to find out about it. She invited us to come on the 16th day prayers. And when is that? I don't know...but she'll inform me first, then I'll pass the message.

Priam asked me whether the bag that I brought was mine or my mother's. I said it was mine and that Swarna gave it to me. Swarna, this is the first time I'm using the bag you gave me for my 16th birthday (I know it's not a good occasion to use it, but I desperately needed a bag)! And I just realised something too. I have bags that match the wedding outfits, but I have no shoes to go with the bags *sniffles*! When I came home I noticed that my shoe strap marks were on my feet! I have been standing for 4 hours in that shoe! Ouch...my feet hurt!

Sham R. called me since she wanted to come over. But I told her that today might not be possible due to this incident. So she said she'll drop by tomorrow. Then Dayani called, asked bout Navee. Then Christina called, asking me whether she could come over tomorrow. And then Priya called to find out about Navee. See how significant I am in this house...LOL!

I have been thinking about it. I don't care if *he* died, but if anyone from my family gets hurt, I might not be able to take it. I am a family-orientated person...that's what I've always been and will always be. I love my family and friends more than anyone else. I mean it. And I noticed another bad thing...I curse easily. I keep saying foul language. But thankfully, my parents haven't heard me saying it in front of them. Otherwise, I might get slapped...LOL!

Sree told me to be strong, considering the break-up might affect me seriously. I am stronger than ever. I hugged them all. Then gave Priam, Chang and Kay-C a lift home. Dropped Priam first and then Chang. When we dropped Kay-C at the Sentul LRT station which was quite near to the temple they brought the body, she informed us that it was that temple where the body will be burned. And at that time, I saw the priest who was at Navee's house and saw the flames. So I guessed as much that the body had been burnt. I hardly cry at funerals. The only time I will cry is when they bring the body to the crematorium and I see them burn the body. But only a drop will flow. It's frightening to see the lifeless body being burnt like that, mercilessly. I think the only times I cried badly at a funeral was at my Pak Lang's funeral and my dad's closest friend's mother's funeral. Don't get me wrong. My Pak Lang was one man who would tease me everytime we meet. The *Dangerous Girl* was the nickname given to me by him. And that auntie, 2 weeks before she passed away, on her eldest son's wedding (he was the last to get married) she told me that for my wedding she wanted to see me wear a saree. She was also the one who made my *half-mancung* nose possible. Why *half-mancung*? My mother tried to make my nose a lot sharper, and ruined it!. But I have the sharpest nose in my family. I noticed it last night when I wrote a poem to mark the break-up in the dark. Well, not exactly in the dark. Had my torchlight to keep me company. I had this rare case of insomnia again! And also, I thought about Navee last night. Will update the other site http://derangedbutterfly.blogspot.com/ soon. I have been postponing that for quite some time already. Procrastination is a bad thing. LOL...

And Mar dear, thanks for reminding bout Reality Check 4. LOL...now I know how you felt when the closed the coffin on your late grandmother. Love you guys all the same. By the way, Della, not sure if you're reading this post, but if you are, remember William Quah? The one who hosted StarTrax some 2 years ago? Well now, he's reading news on NTV7. Why I brought this issue up? Remember you asked what type of guy I wanted? Well, someone who is like him perfectly would be nice. Smart, charming, intelligent, and comes from a mixed parentage! The last factor is very essential to me. I won't settle for ordinary blokes, the bloke I want must be incredibly unique...like ME! So Della, I answered your question already.

Good night...*Bluesy* out!

The reply...

*there is a song in the 80's which says tis........i luv u too much to ever stop lovin u so dont ever ask me to b ur fren......i cant.....

so u like some1 better is it? its o.k...go ahead...i wont stop u n i wont stop liking u......bye...*


Yes, people this was the reply I got this morning. Let me get this straight.


Reality Check 1:
I don't live in the 80's to know a line from a song that goes *I love you too much to ever stop loving you, so don't ever ask me to be your friend*...I live in the 21st Century and I don't wallow in old songs. The only song I remember that came in the 80's was Wham's *Wake Me Up (Before You Go Go). That's HOW MUCH I know of music from the 80's.

Reality Check 2:
What's wrong with staying friends? I guess what Sree says is true...*Most friendships end in relationship, but does all relationship end up in friendship?* Hmm...Sree, I have answered the question for you. Muahaha...

Reality Check 3:
Who does he think I am? Am I some bitch who leaves someone I am with just because I found someone new? It makes it sound like I'm unfaithful...am I unfaithful? Maybe in his eyes, yes. Why is it that men tend to say *So you found someone better?* when a woman breaks up with them? Are they too bitter to face the reality? Or is it because their egos have landed? Still, I'm not unfaithful! And neither am I a harlot. So watch it! Don't get on my nerves.

Reality Check 4:
I DON'T LOVE YOU ANYMORE, SO STOP LOVING ME!


Did I reply his message to get things clarified? No...you know why? Because I have no bloody time to explain these bloody things to bloody people like that! At least I have one burden off my shoulder! *Whee*...Sree, don't ask me to reply the message. I will slap you, I tell you. LOL...

Navee rang up and said that her dad passed away....*Innalillah*...I'm still in shock. So sorry to hear that, dear. You have my prayers and love with you. I don't know whether the girls have planned anything yet...so anyone reading this and know something about some plan regarding Navee, please let me know as soon as possible.

Now I know why I felt like today was a bad day...it was a gut feeling I had the whole day. I just said: Today's ain't gonna be a rosy day for all of us. True enough, a lot of things happened(save the reply, that brought a smile on my face!) that made me feel like this.

Bad night. *Bluesy* out!

Weird...

I notice I am getting weirder. I went to school today and I complained that the colours are TOO bright. But I have to pass by my school everytime I go out to town, and I never complained about the colours then!

Then, I was making Milo, and then I realised it's been 3 days that I sent the note to that idiot. And *he* hasn't replied yet. Despite the fact I asked *him* to check it on the day I sent it. And *he* expects me to follow his orders as though I'm some dog or something! Now, I realise 'HOW IMPORTANT I AM IN *HIS* EYES!' When he wants this done, it must be done this way. I don't want someone who expects me to follow when they lead(I mean in a man!). I want someone who understands the word *compromise* and is able to apply it. I'm a headstrong person, so says Dawson(and for the record, you still look very *gay-fied*!)...
I have been so strong for the past few days...glad I was able to wake up before it was too late. Just imagine, if I had still decided to go on...my life, my dreams, and my world would have come to an end! Thank Allah S.W.T. for helping me see before it was too late.

After what happened, I think I'll wait for the miracle of love to come to me. I'm not so DESPERATE for love! What comes first for me? *ME (that includes my life, my dreams, my passions), *MY FAMILY (that includes the extended families I have), *MY FRIENDS(I love you guys so much!), and lastly *MY IDOLS (be it sports, entertainment, or political)! I don't need love for now!

I noticed that most of my cousins/extended family members love to drink Coke! Even my brother does. I'm the weirdo that HATES Coke in my family. I'm addicted to PEPSI. It tastes better. How nice if I had actually worked in Permanis(the company that distributes PEPSI HERE) for the past 8 months I had been bumming around at home? Would have brought a carton of PEPSI drinks home...all for myself! *Evil laugh*...I'm such a weirdo.

Anyhow...will continue later. Bye! *Bluesy* out!

Life Got Cold...

My life got cold
It happened many years ago
When summer slipped away
So chill now whoa
We've gotten many years to go
So take it day by day

And long ago
I lost my soul to some forgotten dream
and how was I supposed to know
It wasn't what it seemed
And even though the last hello
Has left me on the floor
I don't believe in Romeos or heroes anymore...


I really miss this song...*Life Got Cold* by Girls Aloud. A poignant tune for what I'm currently going through. Stumbled upon the video I taped 2 years ago, just loved it! Was watching the old videos I used to tape...my Brit stars collection. You won't believe it, you'll get David Sneddon, Girls Aloud, D-Side (did you know they were the original singers of *Invisible* which was popularised by Clay Aiken?), Triple 8, Blue, Will Young, Gareth Gates, Darius, Kym Marsh, Busted, and Bhangra Knights when you watch the tape that I have. Haha...music addict, me. Music makes you lose control!
Currently I hope that my dad's andropausal stage will soon wear off, because it's so hard for us to get anything, which has been postponed for quite sometime already, done! What's worse, I still haven't sent in the application form to HELP! I seriously need help! I will not be held responsible if we get the things done at the 11th hour. I refuse to take accountability for someone else's mistake. Argh, and I thought that women going through the menopausal stage were terrible. Tsk tsk. If this andropausal stage that my dad's going through continues, it looks like I'll starting my studies only next year!

Oh well, gotta run. Desperate Housewives is waiting for me. By the way, I'd like Siti Nurhaliza date any man she likes, but NOT Farid Kamil! I repeat: NOT Farid Kamil! Farid Kamil deserves someone else, not her! Haha...good night everyone! *Bluesy* out!

The truth...

I know some of you will be wondering why I decided to get of the *carriage* just like that? It's not like I like to *change clothes* once the clothes I like are torn or faded. I've come to my senses now. I can't go on living like this. I can't keep hurting people the way that I do. I think they deserve someone else and not me. And I know I deserve someone else as well. There is a time for love and there's a time for other little things. I have my priorities and so do they. People expect me to weep over this, but I decided that I can make it on my own. I constantly envisage my life without those people. Even when I am out with my parents/relatives, I feel like I'm still not taken. I don't even remember them when I'm out! The only time I remember them is when I pass by certain significant monuments. Other than that, I have to say no! I love my parents very much, so it's not wrong for me to follow certain restrictions they've imposed on me. I can't disobey them to suit other people's needs! You know when you watch movies (especially those of you with that sentimental feeling!), if you watch a love movie which sees the main characters being torn apart by the family, some of you might be shedding tears to see their plight. But not me, I may be sentimental, but I don't cry at petty love movies. I find it sickening to cry watching those meaningless movies. If you don't believe me, I cry watching family-themed movies like Rabun, and Life Is Beautiful; or even movies that reflect the value of friendship and honesty like The Green Mile, and The Fox & The Hound. I hate those sappy love movies. Sure I watch them, but that doesn't mean I cry at them! I find it so stupid to see people that stupid enough to cry while watching love stories! I envisage myself when I'm grown up and I've graduated and eventually will settle down, will I make the right choice? I have heard of things I refused to believe in from very reliable sources until I decided that I will find out the truth so that I can make the final decision. I'm making a decision for my life and my future here! Not just for now! I have made up my mind and I'm not going to change it. I'm already over you, you may think I'm mean but I don't care. That's what everyone thinks of me of late. I can't lose myself to keep up with you. I'm getting a move on with my life...goodbye, for I know we'll never set eyes on each other again!

I didn't tell you guys this earlier...but this happened 5 months ago(on Valentine's Day). *He* said I was irritating. I don't know it was an attempt to sound like Darius in *Incredible(What I Meant To Say)*, but if you think I'm irritating, why bother talking to me then? Why say my voice sounds better than the birds chirping in the sky? Why? I was foolish to believe you then. This is a new me, you'll see! I'm moving on...with the support of my wonderful friends. I'm the princess. Boo!

To my lovely Sree, Nadia and Navee, thanks for all the support. And of course me dearest Mar & Charlie, Zie & AJ, Della & Mark, and Jay & Stella: Thank you guys so much for helping me out with my misery and helping end this pain! Trust me, all of you...I'm okay as long I watch the antics of my favourite cat that lives outside my house named *Shanx*....and I'm okay as okay can be!

Good night everyone! *Bluesy* out!