A day of all sorts...

I'm okay now. Thank you, baby. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't know how to pull myself of out my petty problems. Merci beaucoup. [P/S: *Baby* is NOT my boyfriend! It's someone I love from the time I was 4. And I am NOT turning into a lesbian! Crazy mo-fos!].

Got back my stupid English report today. I got 14 out 20. I'm really frustrated. I spent so much effort on that, and she gives me that much? Sometimes I wonder if I'm paranoid or not. I mean, I followed everything she asked. And she says my sources that I quote in the report is not in the reference list! WTF? I'm so stressed up, I actually wonder if I can get a HD for it. If I don't, *hara-kiri* is an option. Sigh, I hate her so...She's being a pain. According to Mr. Gerard, we all are here on Earth for a mission. Her mission is to make our lives more miserable than it already is. I think I've mentioned this like so many times. And she keeps calling me *Ro-way-na*. HELLO, DO I HAVE PRONOUNCE IT FOR YOU EVERYTIME? IT'S *RO-WE-NA*! WHY IS SO HARD TO PRONOUNCE IT PROPERLY? AFTER ALL, YOU MAKE A BIG ISSUE IF WE DIDN'T TYPE YOUR FULL NAME IN OUR REPORT [her name is Mrs Chua Siat Lin, and she expected us to type the whole thing instead of Mrs Chua, because apparently, she thinks it's rude not to type in her full name]! SO IT'S NOT RUDE FOR YOU TO MISPRONOUNCE MY NAME, IS THAT WHAT YOU ARE SAYING?

I remember I told Mr Siva my name and he asked me *Ro-way-na, R-O-W-E-N-A. Correct what?* and I told him *The W-E is pronounced as WE*. And then, everytimes he calls my name, he emphasizes the WE part. Haha...

I can't help it if my ex-school mates still call me like that, partly because they're influenced by the teachers [who can't pronounce my name right, except for a certain few, like Pn. Chan and Pn. Anna, that's the only 2 I can think of for now] and because I'm done correcting them, I'm tired, in short. I'm kind of immune to them calling me that. So, now that I'm in college, I make it a point that the others call me by my 'proper' name.

Had my CTS presentation today. After staying up the whole of last night doing the slideshows, I believe I'm more relaxed. Black metal music is...WOW. Loud and un-understandable. They're just screaming and shouting half of the time. So, you can say I'm an expert on black metal already [a little, I guess]. I think I was okay.

And here's something interesting. Did you know that Joe Cole's full name is Joseph John Cole? Me neither!

Went to McD for lunch. While I was walking and eating [I can multi-task!] I passed by All Mags Cafe and saw an advert on TV. It was the EPL advert! The one with Frank Lampard in it! I waited for it to finish, just to get a glimpse of him. I did, as I happily munched on my burger. Yummy...I mean both the burger and him. =P

And now I know my half-daughter's full name! LUNA PATRICIA LAMPARD! My mum thinks of Luna colour pencils everytime I mention her name. So does my ex-husband.

I need to strangle someone. I think you all know who it is.

Is isn't lovely when you get to reconcile with your friend? Hell yeah, it is!

*Mar and I are no way turning into some crazy lesbians by calling each other affectionate names. She calls me *Boo* and I call her *Baby*. It's a deal we had some time back. We're still straight! No worries, mate!*

Go check out Will Young's version of Outkast's *Hey Ya*! So funny...the song sounds so different. Lilee, Will Young IS an idiot.

And I think my mum is funny. She was holding the remote, and asking me where it was. It was right there, in her hands! Now you know where I get my insanity from.

Arsenal beat Juventus 2-0! Yay! I told you they'll beat Juventus! Rooting for them to go all the way to the finals!

*Bluesy* out!

I'm falling...

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE??? WHY IS IT THAT I AM AT THE RECEIVING END OF YOUR ANGER? I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG IN THE FIRST PLACE! IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH ME, DON'T SHUN ME AWAY! TALK TO ME INSTEAD. THE TRUTH IS PAINFUL, I KNOW, BUT I'M WILLING TO LISTEN AND CHANGE IF YOU FIND THAT THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH MY WAYS. DON'T SAY EVERYTHING'S OKAY WHEN YOU KNOW THEY'RE NOT.

ONE MORE PAIN INFLICTED ON MY EMOTIONS, I MIGHT END UP SLITTING MY WRISTS.

IF YOU SEE ME HOLDING A GUN IN YOUR FACE, IT'S BECAUSE I HAVE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.

I HATE THE FACT I HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS EVERYDAY. JUST BECAUSE I'M THE YOUNGEST, IT DOESN'T MEAN I HAVE TO BE TREATED THAT WAY. LIKE SOME EMOTIONLESS ROBOT I CHANGE WHEN IT COMES TO FUNERALS OR WEDDINGS. I HAVE FEELINGS TOO, IN CASE YOU DIDN'T KNOW. WHY DO YOU TREAT LIKE I'M SOME IMMATURE CHILD AND THAT I WAS BORN SO STUPID TO COMPREHEND SIMPLE THINGS YOU TELL ME TO DO?

I HATE THE WORD *WHY* SO MUCH.

*Bluesy* out!

P/S: I probably wouldn't hold up a gun in your face. I'm just saying it because it's what I learnt in Psychology that relates to me. I can't refrain myself from crying as I type. I was looking at my wrists, contemplating slitting them, only to tell myself that I can't because my hands are the only favourite part of my body and I can't afford to do something stupid like that. I don't want to talk to anyone already. I might just hurt their feelings without me knowing it, until they start *throwing acid* to my face. I should be fine. If not, don't bother consoling me. I will make it on my own. If I'm beyond redemption, then please save me.

Pictures!

Desperate Housewives is on tonight. Yippee! CTS results were out today. I got 12 out of 20. Quite okay, right? I blew my Question 3 big time. I lost 6 marks from that question itself. Boo-hoo! Hope I do better in my Finals.

And since I am a bit behind in posting pics of certain events, here it comes!


Blur shot of Massa's car! Blame my brother's bad photgraphy skills!


Kimi Raikkonen and Juan Pablo Montoya's pit garage. Can't see them, but you can see the cars.


Say hello to Leo [I like the name, and I don't care what you have to say about it!] , the latest addition to the family. You can see my parents in the background.


Roya, on the verge of getting drunk.


Priya and Ranchithaa.


The crazy/beautiful people. Adrian, Franz, Materlline, me, Yasmiza, Priya, and Ranchithaa.


Very candid camera. We didn't know Roya actually took this shot.


Two Anfield brothers that will never walk alone. Franz and Adrian.


Do we look alike? Me and Yas. God, I look so fat here!

Still sick, by the way. I haven't even started on my Flash presentation yet! Argh! I'm dead!

I need help. From computer experts, in particular. Sigh...

*Bluesy* out!

1 more day till Desperate Housewives!

Woo-hoo! Am I way beyond excited or what?

DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES SEASON 2 STARTS TOMORROW! AT 10 PM ON 8TV! YIPPEE!!! MY TUESDAY NIGHTS WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN!

THREE CHEERS FOR DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES!

I'm suffering from a bad cough now, my flu is slowly leaving me. I feel the fever's about to come up.

The worst part was, while I had to eat porridge again, my parents ate nasi lemak in front of me! Hmph...feel so deprived!

Oh, and that FIFA song, it's called It's Only Us. Thanks, you stupid Scouser.

This week's going to be just absolutely crazy. If I don't blog for the coming days, I might not be dead, I'm just tied up with things. Like my unfinished Flash presentation. And my Psych project. My CTS presentation is on this Thursday! My English presentation is next week! Argh...stress!

No wonder I'm sick.

Was watching Astro Supersports just now. And I saw my dear husband [in case, you don't know who he is, he is FRANK LAMPARD!] promoting Astro Supsersports about getting the EPL news through SMS. I was drinking 100 PLUS at that time, I licked the bottle and my lips. Yum...what a good way to relieve my senses. I'm not a pervert, okay? So delicious...*drools*

The other day, I showed my dad a picture of him the EPL magazine [the Adidas advert]. My dad said he looks like an ex-convict! What? Ex-convict? Where got? He went on to say the most handsome English player is David Beckham [yech!], Steven Gerrard [double yech!], and Michael Owen [no yech shall be mentioned here, because I admit he is quite handsome, and my other Scouser, Lilee would not like me if I insulted her darling!]. My father actually has time to see these players' looks and ask me what national team does Frank Lampard play for. He's England's official penalty taker, for God's sake! How can you not know that??? Hmph...

Doggone tired. Mar, sorry I can't talk to you today. Nearly losing my voice.

I want to eat normal food, not porridge!

~After all, you're MY wonderwall~

*Bluesy* out!

Rock me, Amadeus!

Downloaded this song from Robbie Williams. It's the FIFA Theme or something of that sort. It rocks...

Okay, so maybe I haven't told you this. I adore Robbie Williams. I didn't like him at first because he had this freaky pair of eyes. But then, his music got to me. And of course, my never-ending love affair with Brits included him in as well. So, he is one my favourite Brit men, way behind Frank Lampard and Lee Ryan.

Chelsea beat Manchester City last night! 2-0, thanks to Drogba for both the goals! My darling will score soon. Trust me. He always does the unexpected. Go score more goals for me, sweetie!

And enough of the gay stunts already! Brokeback Bridge. Brokeback Cottage. Brokeback Camp.

*Shivers*

Today I did something incredibly stupid. I watched this Hindi movie called Vasthu Sashtra on NTV7. I thought I will be spooked someway or another. Turns out I was laughing all the way. I didn't understand the ending. In fact, I didn't even understand the whole story! From the beginning till the end! Everything was just god-damn stupid! It wasn't scary at all.

The Scouser sent me a message right after the movie:
*So that means the boy died also, like his dad? But the mum don't know about it right?*

I think so, Scouser. Even she didn't get the whole movie. We felt so bored and we thought that we could have spent the 2 hours doing something more useful [there's something we can agree on for once!] !

I missed the first half of the Bridget Jones' Diary movie on Friday. I didn't see much of Hugh Grant *cries like a sick kitten*! That is SO sad! But as a consolation, I saw Colin Firth. I had dreams about him come Saturday morning...*drools like a sick puppy*. I MISS MY HUGH GRANT. Boo-hoo. If ever his movie is on TV, I will watch it, regarless whether or not I have the VCD/DVD or I have seen it on TV before. I can watch Notting Hill without getting tired or sick of it. I love his movies, they keep me entertained, and happy all the time. He makes me smile like a mad fox every time I see him.

Yesterday, we went to Ampang Park [don't ask me what we were doing in that semi-dead area!] and I couldn't eat anything spicy, so I 'treated' myself to Bubur Ayam McD's for lunch. I was sitting in there with my mum [my dad wanted to eat rice, so he went somewhere else instead] and we saw about 6 HOT *gweilos*! I told my mum: *They are so gorgeous! What say you?* My mum thought they were just normal-looking *gweilos*! Bwahaha...

I'm a bit mad right now. So excuse me.

~When love is dead, I'm loving angels instead~

*Bluesy* out!

I'm sick...

I'm sick of so many things.

I'm physically sick.

I'm sick of Chelsea meeting Liverpool in any match.

I'm sick of being sick.

I'm sick of myself sounding like Jose Mourinho. Stupid, brilliant, insane, arrogant. All that jazz.

I'm sick of love songs. Why is it that you only understand them when you're in love? When you're not in love you never understand it so well. Why?

I'm sick of being dependent on painkillers. If I don't take them, my knee hurts badly. I hate being dependent on them. You're not curing the pain, you're just stopping it momentarily.

I'm sick that Blogger just ate up my earlier post! Now I have to re-type it not in the original form, due to my incurable laziness.

I'm sick of you, acting the way you are.

*Bluesy* out!

Mar is happy...

Happy. Elated. Overjoyed.

This is how Mar felt today. You know why?

Because our beloved captain [also known as Mar's sugar] named John Terry SCORED for us against Newcastle in today's FA Cup quarterfinal match! Yay...we're through!

And I saw something the other day that was JUST WRONG!

What is the meaning of this??? Instead of Brokeback Bridge, it's now known as Brokeback Cottage...argh!!! *Shivers*

I think I've gained a few kilos. I'm on a new mission. I'm going to fast for one week. I can lose at least 2 kilos [or hopefully more].

Not much to say...

*Bluesy* out!

A super-duper *special post*

*This post is specially dedicated to my best friend, Sree, who is now the KAYU FC vice-president [no prize in guessing who the president is!]. And KAYU stands for Klutzy, Annoying Young Under-dogs*

Dear Sree,
You were my classmate when I was in Form 2. I only knew you [a little maybe] when your dad came to school regarding the dikir barat issue [let's not talk about it, okay?]. At that moment I thought, "God, your dad is scarier than mine! Better not disturb her!", which of course, by know you know it's not true [I think my dad is a lot worse compared to yours, but then again you blame old people for being the way they are, can you? Tell your dad I said, by the way.] ! I knew your birthday was the same as Farhana's. You were so quiet and only talked when you thought it was necessary [unlike some people you know, right?] . You were especially close to Melissa at one point of time.

Again in Form 3, you were my classmate. I still wasn't close to you, but I felt like I was a lot closer to you compared to the time we were in Form 2. You were still quiet. This time around, you were good friends with Priamalar. And you loved books. I remember you were sitting in front of me [after changing places with Sarah only to sit with Shamini R, Yoga and T-Jay] . We talked more than the normal conversations we had in Form 2 [please agree with me, my heart is bleeding].

Again in Form 4, we WERE classmates [you just can't leave me alone, can you? =P]. I remember I sat with Priamalar at first, then I decided I was a bit too tall for the front, so I went to the back seat. You were sitting all alone and I asked you: "Can I sit here?" only for you to answer "Yes" . From that moment on, I realised life was never going to be the same again. I thought you were such a quiet girl, but I was too quick to judge. Looks can ALWAYS be deceiving. I'm sure you would agree too. You were noisy and crazy [on a more smaller scale] ! I remember you wrote in my book once:

"I can never forget 'the girl in the pink dress and brown slippers' even if I wanted to...This is the girl who has helped me a lot in studies...Rowena, don't worry me and my storybook will always be there when you're in trouble or frustrated...You can count on me...and my storybook"

You could never be seen without a storybook in your hand. You would read the stupid Mills and Boons crap and I would be trying to distract you away from your book. You would always tell me you would be going to return the book you borrowed from the National Library this weekend or something. You would read and read. In the Biology lab, the Chemistry lab, the Physics lab, and probably in the toilet!

Every week [okay, not every week!], you'd tell me: "I won't be coming to school tomorrow" and I'd asked you why. You always tell me: "I'm going to see my dentist". Not only you left me alone to fend myself against those insane people from class, you made it seem like you were in love with your dentist [I know she's female and don't give me that look! I wasn't jealous!] and missing your appointment would incur the wrath of your beloved dentist. Hmph...you and your stupid dentist. You'd read my poems and tell me it's good even when it's rubbish. Especially that poem I wrote for Gareth Gates! Argh...that was the cheesiest thing I wrote in my entire life, and yet you told me it was amazing that I could come up with something like that when I had a headache!

You're the one who'd go round telling people you have to birthdays in a year. You'd tell people you were born on the 29th of February, 1987 [A date which doesn't exist, people! Do NOT be conned by this con artist!] . But I knew your birthday is on the 19th of November. I wonder if you even remember when MY birthday is. *A kick in the ass is felt*

I remember I actually asked [pestered is the exact word] you to get my key-chain done. The butterfly and guitar-shaped ones. I knew I was a pain before [still am now!] so please forgive me. I remember you telling me how you loved Ben Affleck. *Throws up. Feels another kick in the ass* I remember I gave you the DareDevil card thingy I got from buying Wrigley's chewing gums. Wonder whether you still keep those rubbish...?

You liking Michael Vartan made me laugh...I remember you'd talk about Alias. Blah, blah, blah. And Never Been Kissed! Your taste in men is BAD. I mean it. Why can't you learn to like people like Frank Lampard? Hmph...

I remember we did The Star's NiE thing. Our newspaper named En Masse [Where Everyone Comes Together - remember the tagline?]. And how adamant I was on getting Adrian Mutu's picture on the Sports page? We finally found one pic [through God's grace, I guess]. That kept me quiet, didn't it?

In Form 5, again we were classmates [she was stalking me, not the other way around!]. This time Cik Junaidah [now known as Puan Junaidah] separated us. You sat with Bavani at the back, while I sat in front with Shamini T and Farie. But we were still together during the labs sessions. And sometimes I'd go sit at the back with you and annoy the hell out of you.

Your second home was the Computer Lab [I still think you should've been the president instead of being the secretary! Besides, you have UGLY handwriting!]. You'd always be called to do some technical stuff. Sometimes, I'd help you when the President couldn't help the others. Hehe...

You helped me through my short-lived happy moments of being in a relationship. I can never thank you enough for what you've done. The phone calls, the e-mails and the meet-up after school with a certain you-know-who. I can never thank you enough for all you've done. Even if it is a short-lived one, I still have to thank you. You will always be my Mangkuk Society's President, even if it the society is now defunct. And please do not erase the rubbish I wrote on your book! I want your future husband [whoever the sad soul is] to see how crazy you were before this. Haha...

I remember how you'd listen to my problems, no matter how stupid and ridiculous they were. You were always willing to lend an ear and let me pour out my stupid problems [I'm such a *kayu* right?]. You've seen me in almost every form. Happy. Sad. Angry [the time I got mad with Priamalar]. In love. Jealous. Confused. All that jazz.

I remember the day I told you my results and you didn't believe it so much that you decided to change the results for me. =) *Kayu-ness*

I remember calling you 'budak sekolah' since you were going to Form 6 and I wasn't, so you called me 'mahasiswi'. I remember you telling me that you became a prefect. My jaw just dropped to the floor as my thoughts went "There goes the whole of Setapak High..."

I remember the day you told me the bad news about that you-know-who. I was planning to tell you that I wanted to break up with him, but I didn't know how. When you wanted to tell me the bad news, you didn't want to tell it to me because you were worried I might go ballistic or suicidal. Truth is, I cried the whole night before and told I myself: "Whatever shit that gets thrown in my face, I can take it". I persuaded you to tell me what the news was. You made my theory justified. I had more reasons to break up with him. So, thank you. =)

Three days later, Navee's dad passed away. I told you that I robbed him of his life, just to start my NEW life. I was being selfish. And you just thought I was being paranoid, and shot me a look that made me realise I was somewhere off the tracks [in other words, mad]. You know I am like that, but yet, you STILL are my friend [You stalker, leave me alone! Kidding!].

I remember the time when you got yourself your first 'boyfriend'. I was there to be the witness. I told you before that he liked you [Remember 99%? That is the effect of not listening to me!] and you didn't believe me, you thought it was his friend that liked you. I told you. No one listens to me. I feel hurt. =(

Though that relationship ended pretty fast, I'm still glad you ended up okay. I remember how I'd call you just to tell you that I bought something that made me happy. I told you that I bought The Killers' *Hot Fuss* CD and you sighed. You *kayu*. You must learn to like The Killers! And I told you yesterday that I bought that Chelsea book, and you thought I was crazy. As long as it makes me happy, right?

Yesterday, was a day of all sorts. When I was talking to you and your senior, I was so happy. I managed to yet again, prove my 99% theory! This time again you still didn't believe me. Even when you first told me about him, I knew he was destined to be yours. *Inserts mushy music*

And when the news broke out, I was upset to the extent of even forgetting to congratulate you. I am way beyond words SORRY. You do know why I was upset, right? It won't happen again [I'll try though, can't promise much].

We both sensed again that I was there to witness the start of your new relationship. I was the first to know. *Pats self on the back* I am such an important person in your life.

Please tell your current boyfriend that I was the first to know and I saw it coming. See what happens if you don't listen to me? Hmph...don't do it again!

I know that I am not in love [well, being in love with Frank Lampard is an entirely different issue!], but that doesn't mean I cannot share your happy moments with you. But don't worry, I won't burn an egg to celebrate. *A third kick in the ass is felt*

I am happy I managed to teach two Japanese words: Kuro Kobuta [black piglet]. Please don't use it against me. I WILL kick you.

I still don't know how you can listen to my really stupid problems. I guess you're immune to it already. So sorry...

I miss you, your jokes and your not funny comments about sports and whatever I like. For your boyfriend's sake, please start to AT LEAST watch football. I mean it. Oh, and tell him to come to HELP! That way I can spy and look after him! So that he doesn't try anything funny. I'm so mean right? I hope you're happy. I'm happy because he said I'm cute. But as you already know, he's yours and you will always be beautiful in his eyes. *Inserts mushy music*

I hope you're happy. I will try to put your pic here. Even if you don't like it. Always I'm here for you. If you need to shout at me, laugh at/with me, or even cry with me, call me. I'd be there for you.

Oh, and I want my chocolates. By hook or by crook. I mean it. *Shakes fist in the air*

~A long post. Just for you. See how much you mean to me? I wonder if ever I mean a lot to you....~

And put this in your blog!

*Bluesy* out!

So sincere...

Okay...I haven't blogged for two days. I'm not dead yet. Just been pre-occupied with my English assignment. Glad that's over and done with. I'll be getting my CTS marks tomorrow. I am SO scared. I mean it. Let me tell you what happened from Saturday till Sunday.

Saturday, 18th of March, 2006:
I had my Islamic Studies quiz. And guess what happened? I realised I left my assignment at home! It was due that day! I had it ready 2 days before the due date and I forgot about it! Talk about being ready early! I had to ask my parents to drive back from the TTDI market back home! Thank God, I managed to submit the assignment on time. I would've been dead by now. Apparently, the doctor says that the cartilage behind my left kneecap is bruised and that it occurs frequently in younger women. Regardless of what I do OR don't do, it will get better [apparently my dad heard him say that it sometimes takes 2 years to actually heal]. But he told me, that I should exercise. He gave some kind of bolster [a bit harder though] and showed me how to use it. Apparently, everyone who left the clinic that day got a bolster as well. Hmm...is the doctor promoting the company which makes the bolsters? Had to do X-ray my legs [turns out I have no broken bones] and took a blood test to see whether I have arthritis or not. The blood test was painful. I hate needles. I hate blood. When the guy inserted the needle, I told myself *I'm not looking at it, I'm not looking at it*. Usually I turn away from the needle, I know it doesn't hurt so much. But this one was so painful! I could feel the needle prick through my skin! And the worst thing is, they took four vials of my blood! OMG...4 vials just to see whether I have arthritis? A bit too much, right? Seeing my blood being sucked by 'Dracula' was scary. I couldn't feel my left hand after that. It felt so numb.

Sunday, 19th of March, 2006:
RACE DAY! My brother took the digital camera with him. He got Grandstand tickets [Which apparently, aren't exactly the best seats in the world. The Hillside seats are better. That's what most people say anyway]. Massa comes in 5th after starting from 23rd! And he came right in front of Michael Schumacher! Raikkonen suffered some problem [My brother sent me an SMS, asking me which McLaren car was out! And he was there!]. I felt so sad that Nico Rosberg suffered a blown engine =( I really hoped he would be on the podium. He qualified 3rd on the grid. Sad. Button came in third, right after those two Renault donkeys [I mean Giancarlo Fisichella and Fernando Alonso]. Montoya came in fourth [he was so quiet throughout the race!]. At least Button, Montoya and Massa scored. I'm happy. I hope Nico Rosberg will stand on the podium in the next race. Hehehe...my favourite blonde driver. Spent the whole day editing my English assignment [adding more words where possible and inserting pie charts]. It looked okay though. I can say that I'm proud of myself.

Chelsea made me depressed again! They lost to Fulham 1-0! And to think that Liverpool beat them 5-1 3 days earlier! Argh...that is wrong!!! Eddie jinxed me! I hate you! I am still depressed despite the fact I ate McDonalds' Chocolate Sundae with extra chocolate! We better start winning. Next game against Newcastle. I don't care if Shearer or Owen are there, I want us to win! Otherwise I might go on another binge eating spree. Bah...

We got the car already. I don't like the colour though. So plain. I prefer the blue one. So does my brother. No one listens to me or takes me seriously. I guess that's what you get if you're the youngest. I got myself a Honda F1Racing cap! Red...so beautiful! If in case I do meet Jenson Button in Malaysia next time, I'd ask him to sign it for me! Haha...

Was actually seeing the pictures my brother took from yesterday's race. And I noticed that the F1 marshals were talking to Michael Schumacher [you couldn't see it in the original shot, I had to zoom it in like 10 times!]. My mother thinks my brother looks like a Bangladeshi worker. Haha...ooh, yeah! I'm fairer than him now, that makes me the second fairest in the family! And he think I use some kind of whitening products. Not true! I don't use Fair and Lovely that only make dark people feel unloved and unwanted. I hate all those whitening face care products and shampoos that claim to straighten your hair in under 2 months. Yech, makes me feel so annoyed. Half the time I watch TV, I get so annoyed that I turn it off. Why can't we accept the way God created us? Argh...I shall shut up now, in case the Scouser wants to put me in the asylum.

~I'm not scared of dying,
I just don't want to,
If I stop lying,
I'd just disappoint you...~

-Robbie Williams, Come Undone-

I'm been downloading Robbie Williams like crazy for the past 3 days! What's wrong with me?

Oh yeah, I am depressed, tired, worked up and crazy.

~Watch me come undone~

*Bluesy* out!

I hate you...

I HATE...this stupid pain in my knee. Give me back my life and my craziness!

I HATE...my stupid English report. My Flash project. My Psychology Journals and the PDP thing. My Islamic Studies quiz tomorrow.

I HATE...people who think they know everything about me. Half of the things they claim to know about me, are not true. Nobody's perfect. I can't be a saint, only to satisfy your needs. The more I try to satisfy your needs, the more I end up being scrutinised by you.

I HATE...myself when I'm ill during big events. MATTA Fair is on this week and because of me, my parents can't decide whether we should go on holiday because they are afraid my knee won't be able to take all the walking they plan to do. F1 roadshows are all over the place and I can't go.

I HATE...Michael Ballack coming to Chelsea. Just stay in Bayern, okay? I still hate you for being a cheater, but you're the reason I supported Germany during World Cup. Well, not really. I only supported them because England and Ireland got knocked out early, and I didn't like Brazil.

I HATE...feeling incapable of doing things I love. Not even bugging little Scouser helps [Oh yeah, your Crouchy scored! Happy neh?].

I HATE...Mar, for being a closet Steven Gerrard fan. Real *kayu*. Blek...=P

I HATE...someone for being a pain in the arse for a very long time. Keep at it, you idiot. I couldn't care less anyway.

I HATE...my brother [temporarily until this Sunday]. HE IS GOING FOR THE MALAYSIAN F1 GP THIS WEEKEND!!! HIS FRIEND IS GETTING HIM THE TICKET! ARGH!!!!!!! THERE GOES MY ONLY CHANCE OF MEETING FELIPE MASSA! YOU'D THINK MY DAD WILL TAKE ME THERE? DREAM ON! *flushes down hopes of meeting Felipe down the toilet* *Flush sound effect heard*. Excuse me for being so sour! I'll go suck on a lollipop if it makes you happy!

I HATE...my parents for not understanding the fact I am in pain and have lots of things to do in a short span of time. I realised I can't live without my PC as I am always sitting in front of it, doing my assignments. They say that even my niece didn't have to sit in front of the PC. How would you know? Did you install some kind of CCTV in her house? I can't help it if my college work requires me to waste the printer's ink and electricity. Go sue my lecturers for being annoying! After all, I did sign up for Internet Principles which requires me to sit in front of the PC and design website [not a pro yet] and animation.

Breathe, Julez. Breathe...

Mr. Siva thinks I'm weird because I play football on the road. And he thinks I'm hyper-active and that's a good thing. Of course, it is! You can't have a quiet Chelsea fan in life, can you?

Eddie says my knee hurts because I teach Frankie how to take spectacular free-kicks. Haha...at least I don't teach him how to give a back pass to the opponent only for them score! *Kayu* people.

Help me. I have a quiz tomorrow and doctor's appointment. Please pray that I am okay to be a crazy football playing-kayu of a Chelsea fan. Hehe...

*Bluesy* out!

Can you feel my pain?

I seriously need HELP [not my college, okay?] ! My knee is aching...BIG TIME! I can't sleep properly [I like to sleep on my tummy and sometimes I like to sleep facing my left side]. I can't walk without being stopped by people asking me whether I got myself into an accident [Miss Sue was surprised I had it just by walking!] or not. I have to walk on the stairs like a small child [both feet on the stairs instead of the usual one-foot-then-the-other-on-the-next-step]. I can't do my usual *jumps up and down in excitement* thing. =( I feel so deprived of things I consider as FUN. *Cries like a wounded tigercub*

People I know are walking, running and jumping as usual, but me? I just walk so slowly that even tortoises can beat me! It's getting better, but the pain is still there. Walking up the stairs seems okay [even with the way babies are trained to go up the stairs!] but coming down the stairs hurts. Even though the doctor says my pain is not serious, I am in pain. It hurts. My parents are puzzled with my pain. Everyone else is concerned as well. Thanks. You make me feel happy. At least I know, I'm not alone and I'm loved by wonderful people like you. =) *Blows kisses to all*

This morning I woke up at 6:30 AM and felt a throbbing pain in my left knee. I felt like the muscle inside was moving very fast. I felt in pain, I went back to sleep, hoping it would eventually subside. It did, thankfully.

I'm so disheartened with this pain. It has taken away half of me. My *kayu-ness* and happy self. I hope you would go away and leave me alone! Excuse me for being sour!

If it weren't for this pain, I would've gone to see Kimi Raikkonen today! But I still have three assignments to do, so maybe I still cannot go anyway.

I've been listening to *Wonderwall* by Oasis and *Lay Your Hands* by Simon Webbe [Yes, I still can't leave Blue alone. Sue me!]. Keeps me happy. =D

~Oh baby, when I'm calling out,
Give me love and affection,
Keep telling me, show me the way,
Oh, if you see me falling down,
Lift me up from the shadows,
Will you take me away to a better place?
And when I'm in my darkest hour,
You're by my side,
To turn the tide,
Until the suffering fades,
When life is getting me down,
Getting me down,
I'm close to defeat...
Come on, lay your hands on me...~

I love this chorus. I want to sing it to someone. Badly. With this pain, I feel like crying my heart out and sing this song loudly to someone. Anyone. If glass breaks, I'm not at fault.

*Bluesy* out!

Doctor says...

Went to college at 7:20 AM. Yes, your eyes aren't playing tricks with you. I was early for class. Mum went to the funeral. I couldn't even walk straight for class. I was walking slowly but I could still feel the pain, so i called my dad and told him that it was still hurting despite the hot water fermentation he did for me yesterday, and the Franch Oil session this morning. I was feeling an ultimate low today because I felt so incapable of enjoying the things I usually enjoy doing. I felt deprived. I couldn't think straight because of the pain! The pain just paralysed my mind. It was just sad.

After class ended at 3:30 PM, I went to the clinic. It took me 20 minutes to get out from college, by the way. Every step I took was painful.

When I got to the doctor's place, he said that the cartillage behind my knee caps is bruised. Nothing serious [still hurts nonetheless]. He told me to get some rest [never going to happen] and not to squat down [this one poses a bit of a problem, because the toilets in HELP are the squattiing down type of toilets!]. He told me to see him in a week's time.

As if that wasn't enough, Frank Lampard is going to Barcelona [not that true, but still!]. And Michael Ballack *babi* is coming to Chelsea and JM wants to see the Lamps and Ballack partnership. WTF? If he comes to Chelsea, I'll start being a Spurs fan! Hmph...maybe not. Still have a reason to support Chelsea. The blonde Maradona. =D

Me: What triggered the pain?
Dad: You play football.
Me: That was 3 months ago!
Dad: It was the starting point. You fell and scraped your left knee, remember?
Me: That one happened like 7 months ago!
Dad: It had to start from somewhere.
Me: The moral of the story is DON'T PLAY FOOTBALL.
Dad: No. You shouldn't try to be rugged [eh?] because of your bone problem.
Dad: Maybe when you watch football, you kick or stamp your feet. "Aiyoh this Lampard, cannot score one!"
Me: No. That day I watched the match also I was lying on the recliner. Never kick anything.
Dad: Maybe you shouldn't be sleeping on the recliner at all. Bad angling. Not good.

Sigh...he's taking it all away from me. =(

Watched Stepford Wives in class today. Such a stupid movie. It's a good thing you're not perfect. *I'm not perfect, don't have to be, can walk around in just bare feet, I'm comfortable in my own skin, my confidence: it starts within* My favourite lyrics.

My knee hurts. I need a wheelchair AND a secretary now.

*Bluesy* out!

In a dilemma...

My left knee has been aching like crazy since Tuesday! I have no idea why it hurts so bad! Scouser's right...I walk like a constipated duck! Quack quack! I can't even walk straight! I have to walk with a bloody limp along that long corridor of HELP and up and down the stairs tomorrow! Excuse me for being sour! I seriously think I dislocated my left knee. Ouch...

A girl got mugged outside my house at 9 AM! It was my SpongeBob SquarePants viewing time when I heard someone shout, and saw those bastards on the motorcycle and sped off. It was broad daylight and everyone was outside, how could they have done such a thing? She lost her RM 1000 ++ handphone and her handbag containing some cash and personal documents. It's not safe out there anymore. She was accompanied by her friends, by the way.

I was supposed to do my English assignment in the afternoon, but my parents insisted I follow them to a wedding! Hmph...and what kind of wedding doesn't serve any form of chicken or fish or mutton? Chicken, well I understand if it's the bird flu concerns. But fish and mutton? They instead had things I couldn't eat! Eggs and sotong! The two things I am allergic to! The only consolation was beef!

I watched the race today! Nico Rosberg is bloody good! My driver of the day, for sure! For a rookie to score in his first ever race, it's quite an achievement! You should see him overtake the other drivers. Reminds me a lot of Pedro de la Rosa. I'm adding him to my favourite blondes list, which sadly has only four people in it [Eidur Gudjohnssen, Damien Duff, Morten Gamst Pedersen, and Lee Ryan]. Oh I saw another blonde guy today on TV, he plays for Trinidad and Tobago. You have got to see him, so gorgeous. Wait, let me think of his name. Argh...can't remember! Still he is gorgeous...will upload his pic when I have the time!

Bloody fucking Alonso won the race...stupid! If it weren't for him, Massa could have scored!

To my beloved Scouser: I apologise for making fun of Kimi Raikkonen yesterday. Please accept my humble public apology.

He came in third after starting 20th on the grid! Montoya was 5th, right behind Jenson Button [OMG...he overtook Montoya twice and both were simply amazing!].

Next race: MALAYSIA! And I wanto to meet Kimi Raikkonen next week! It's not fair my brother has a 100% chance of meeting him [he works near KLCC!]! I'm so annoyed!

Oh yeah, his name is Christopher Birchall. So gorgeous!

Okay I know he doesn't look gorgeous in this pic...but I'll find something nicer than that.

And my uncle [Pak Su] passed away. Innalillah...

*Bluesy* out!

Boo-ya!

HEAR THE CHELSEA ROAR!!! William Gallas is amazing. He scored for us at the very last minute. 92nd minute! WE WON 2-1, THANKS TO HIM! And I thought the match was heading for a draw. Stella, don't be upset. Essien scored the first goal. Then Jermaine Jenas equalised. We won...thank you, William Gallas.

Apparently, Chelsea have a knack of scoring at the very last minute of the game. Especially at the 92nd minute.

And I have a tendency to do my work better at the very last minute! Is it evident in every Chelsea fan? Maybe...

Will there ever be a blue tomorrow? Yes...it will be a blue tomorrow.

When will YOU score for your *wife* who is currently on a binge eating spree? Don't make me grow sideways because of you. =P

In other news, I haven't updated on my other favourite thing in life [apart from SLEEPING and CHELSEA!]...F1!!! Kimi Raikkonen will be starting from the back of the grid. Suspension failure or something. McLaren's new car is SO GOD-DAMN UGLY! Yech...some red Fly Emirates thing spoilt the car. So ugly!

The new qualifying system is SO confusing! Instead of having 2 rounds like last season, now they have three rounds and you have a knockout sytem [I hate the word KNOCKOUT now, don't even start, SCOUSER!]. To be in the running for pole position, you have to be among the top 10 in the knockout round [the 1st and 2nd round]. If you're in the top 10, you're in the running for pole, and you can go on the track for 20 minutes. Keep going at it, improve the time, when the 20 minutes are up, you can't change your current position. Am I making any sense to you? I didn't think so anyway. Even the commentator said he probably needs to watch a few races to understand this new and confusing qualifying system. Very, very confusing.

And fuck Ferando Alonso for being such a pain in the ass. Felipe Massa was on course to make history for his first ever pole position, and what does this short fucker do? Block him! FUCK YOU, FERNANDO ALONSO! Felipe lost out to Michael Schumacher [great...another pain in the ass!] for the pole position. Go Felipe, I'll be rooting for you, as I always have for the past 4 years.

You should have seen him! Everytime Michael improved his time and got himself on pole position, Felipe would beat that time and be the pole sitter! Amazing...hope you win your first ever race tomorrow. I'll be right behind you.

Scouser, I want to ask you one question. Why is Kimi Raikkonen like Liverpool? Out of luck?

Of course, Mar. Don't worry, I'll support Juan Pablo Montoya. He's up in fifth place, right behind that fucker. Excuse the language. I'm annoyed. And Jeevan, since you've been so nice to me lately, I'll support Mark Webber for you. Happy?

Saw the STELLAR 2005 school magazine. I am sad to say this, but truth hurts anyway. It's very disappointing to see the new school magazine. It feels like the Editorial Board members didn't put in enough effort to do it. Everything was so...laidback. When I was in the Editorial Board way back in 2004, we made sure the magazine would not turn out to be like the 2003 magazine. It was so ugly. Though the 2004 magazine didn't turn out the way we eaxactly wanted it to be, it was amazing. Sure, I wasn't the editor, but hey, we worked together [after all, 95% of the Editorial Board members were from 5 Anggerik, my class!] and we made sure the usage of language were appropriate [Though the same cannot be said for the Ponggal Festival report. I took the trouble to write it in English for the Indian Cultural Society (the president was my classmate), but the report came out in Malay! Hmph...bloody waste of effort!]. The 2005 magazine didn't even mention who's who in the Editorial Board! Our year we had at least some pages that highlighted the important events that took place in school in colour, like Sports Day, Prize-Giving Ceremony, Teacher's Day and the likes. The only events that were in colour that I saw were the Prize-Giving Ceremony and Pn. Cheong's retirement. Even the section for the school-leavers [The Graduation thing] was done in a simple manner. Nothing describing the person in that class. Just some pictures stuck there. Don't get me started on the articles submitted! It was just sad to see the new edition of Stellar [which by the way, is the 15th edition]. I don't know how the other Editorial Board members feel about it, but I think they will feel the same way as I would. Sree or any other members of the STELLAR Editorial Board 2004, please let me know what you think. Feedback urgently needed.

My parents tell me that I'm just scrutinising every little detail because it was not my year! Not true! And my dad went further by saying it was a lot better than the 2004 edition! Is he blind or something?

*I know why he doesn't like it. It's because 95% of the Editorial Boards members are from my class and I was in it, that's why he doesn't like it. No one from our family commended my effort for writing a few things for the magazine! No one appreciates me or whatever I do!*

I told them that. I don't care. I told you truth hurts. And nobody said anything about the interview I did with Pn. Parames! Hmph...

The bottomline is: 2005 edition of STELLAR is VERY DISAPPOINTING! I hope this year's magazine will turn out better.

I'm being a pain, right? It's a talent. You don't have it, but I do. Jealous?

~We waited so long but we waited forever,
Our blood is blue and we will leave you never,
And when we make it, it will be together!
Chelsea, Chelsea!!!
We're gonna make this a blue day,
Chelsea, Chelsea!!!
We're gonna make this a blue day!~

This song [it's called Blue Tomorrow, by the way] makes me feel like singing and jumping! Excuse me for being neurotic!

*Bluesy* out!

Short note...

I bought the book already *jumps up and down in excitement* ! But I'm only allowed to read it AFTER my 2nd semester finals! Fair deal. Besides, I have too many things to do now. I'm going to die of stress. Come for my funeral. Bring my husband along. And his mates. And Robbie Keane. And Lee Ryan. And Juan Pablo Raba. And...[no more names shall be put up here, for the author fears for her safety].

And I used my own money to buy the book [because my dad said if I wanted it, I have to buy it out of my own money]. So don't say I pleaded my dad for money and he bought it for me.

As expected, my dad's wish came true. Arsenal will meet Juventus in the quarter-finals of the Champions League. Go Gunners [Will be supporting for the time-being because of Jose Antonio Reyes...oh, you guys don't know I have a MINOR crush on him. Hehe...MINOR only!]!

Ooh...I hope Benfica kick Barca's ass! Go Benfica! Just imagine if Liverpool meet Barca.

No, wait!

Just imagine if Liverpool met Chelsea! *jaw drops to the floor*

It would've been fun.

You know what I mean.

*Bluesy* out!

It happened...

We lost to Barcelona [3-2 aggregate]. We drew during the 2nd leg 1-1. Ronaldinho's goal was simply sublime. He took on three of our defenders and shot past Petr Cech. Magnifique. Frank Lampard scored a penalty at the 92nd minute after John Terry was brought down [it didn't look like a foul to me, but since the referee was generous enough to give us one, we took it] in the penalty area. Sigh...there's always a next year. The game was good...but depressing.

I actually got up to watch the match! How often do you hear the sound sleeper wake up mid-morning to watch football eventhough her team is playing? I felt cold so I took my hooded jacket and wore it. When Ronaldinho scored, I shouted *NO!!!* and covered my face with the hood. When Frank Lampard scored the penalty, I shouted and my brother yelled at me for screaming so loudly [it wasn't that loud, I thought shouted loudly when Ronnie scored].

Went to college after that, and Adrian told me *I know you're depressed Chelsea lost, so I bought you a lollipop* . Haha...and then I bought myself McD's chocolate sundae. Good cure for depression.


Look what you made me do, YOU STUPID BARCA PEOPLE!!! YOU MADE ME GO ON A BINGE EATING SPREE! I HATE YOU!!!

In other news, Liverpool lost on a 2-0 aggregate to Benfica! Serves the Scouser right! Yesterday, she was so mean to me when Chelsea lost! She even left a message in my chatterbox of this blog saying *Bravo Barcelona!* . I replied: *Bravo Benfica!!!* Hahaha...don'te be a pain okay, you annoying Scouser! You ain't gonna defend your trophy, mate! YOU'LL NEVER WALK ALONE. I rooted for Arsenal to go into the quarterfinals, and they did!

My dad is weird. Yesterday's conversation went like this.

Me: I'll be supporting Arsenal tomorrow.
Dad: Yes, you should support at least one English team to advance to the next round.
Me: Ya, that's why I support Arsenal. We Londoners must stick together.
Dad: I don't think they'll advance.
Me: What kind of Arsenal supporter are you?
Dad: We must face facts.
Me: I don't care what you say, I'm supporting the Gunners. Scousers are plain annoying. So they don't need my love.

Today's conversation went something like this.
Me: Told you right Arsenal will go through?
Dad: I tell you they won't win it.
Me: I think they will.
Dad: Cannot-lah! You see theire recent performance, very unconvincing.
Me: They got good record in Champions League what?
Dad: Juventus in ah?
Me: Ya, why?
Dad: I want them to meet and beat Arsenal...then Wenger will scratch his head and ask: *Why did I sell my captain? If he were here, he'll be attacking for us! Why did I sell Patrick Vieira?*

Let's upload some random candid shots then.

Yes...this is how I look like now. Sree, are you happy now?


The remnants of a burning Proton Tiara. Scary, huh?


This pic is really funny. Sylvien told Adrian [yes, that's his skinny fingers by the way!] to put his middle finger up at Henry's face...but he put it right next to Rooney's face! Haha...and interstingly, I read somewhere that Wayne Rooney reads Harry Potter books! He reads?


I love this pic...

And this...


And this. *Drools like a sick puppy*


This pic...is just wrong. Brokeback Bridge! Argh...*slaps self* Just wrong!!!

This weekend is going to be insane. I need a secretary. Pronto.

*Bluesy* out!

Things that make you go...ooh!

1. Frank Lampard is playing for us tonight! Yay! *jumps up and down in excitement* Kill Barca for me, I'll stay up and support you!

2. I got 18 out 20 for my Internet Principles mid-term exams *jumps up and down in excitement* ! I didn't expect it. I thought I'd do really badly because my answers were crappy and I was sick while doing the exams! I just hope I can do my best for the finals and get a HD.


3. I got a haircut! *jumps up and down in excitement* My head feels a bit lighter now! My fringe looks weird though, but I love it!

I saw something scary in the morning. I saw a car on fire in the middle of the road while I was on my way for college! I managed to get a pic, but I'll upload it tomorrow.

This is interesting. My dad said that if he gets some extra money, he'll buy me a camera phone. Though I don't really like camera phones, but since he's buying it for me, so I can't say no right? Like the Malays will say: *Rezeki jangan ditolak* . Apparently he heard me talking on the phone with Sree about buying handphones, and I've been complaining to my parents about how crazy my phone has been to me. So, he wants to buy me a new phone! *jumps up and down in excitement*

Now, I can save money to buy the book! *jumps up and down in excitement*

I was so annoyed in college just now, that I felt like banging my head on the wall so hard! Talking to Sree made me feel better. Thank you, you crazy school girl! And chatting with my favourite piggy made me feel good as well. Thank you, piggy!

I need someone to wake me up when it's 3:30 AM [due to the fact I like to sleep like a log!]. Must watch the match! I missed the first leg because I was sick to the point I couldn't get up because I was weak and my body just hurt like hell! I'm not going to miss this leg! He needs me, in fact, the whole team does!

And I think I better stop doing that *jumps up and down in excitement* thing already. I don't want to scare you guys off already.

*Bluesy* out!

What would you do...

if things didn't go your way?

Today I felt a bit disheartened because for my Flash project, I took some time to get it done, but I managed to get it done anyway [not too disheartened-lah!]. Watched the Oscars. George Clooney won Best Supporting Actor and I was really glad that Reese Witherspoon won the Best Actress award for her role in Walk the Line. Wallace and Gromit won the Best Animated Film award! Yay...I watched and it was so funny! Crakers and cheese, Mar? CHEESE, GROMIT! =P

And today Ms. Chia was talking about Cause an Effect. She gave this as an example.

Adam and Eve live in the same neigbourhood. Both of them have Astro. Adam watches football, while Eve watches movies. One day, Liverpool were scheduled to play against Chelsea and Adam's TV went bonkers. So, he calls up Eve and asks her whether he could watch the match in her house. she said yes as she was going out. So he went over and she told him to make himself at home. Chelsea lost [TOUCHWOOD!!!!!] and he got so mad and sold her TV. When she came home and saw her TV missing, she asked him what happened. He told her that: *Chelsea lost. I got so mad and you told me to make myself at home. Normally in my home and Chelsea lose, I sell something. So I sold your TV* . When she heard the explanation, she wanted to sue him.

Why did it have to be Chelsea? I'm so paranoid about Wednesday's game...don't scare me already! I'm so scared, but I am confident. It's a Catch 21 situation. I hope they win. Like I said before...WE NEED A BIG MIRACLE TO WIN.


And for God's sake, boy! Get a haircut. I'm getting mine tomorrow.

But the little Scouser likes his hair this way! I call her Scouser because she's from Liverpool. Not because I want to mock her. So don't throw your daggers in my face.

If I don't get my way, like the case above, I'd probably go on a binge eating spree. Not good. Maybe spend my money on things! I know, something sinfully good. LIKE MCDONALDS' CHOCOLATE SUNDAE!!!

I'm starting to sound like a pig.

And this man made me extremely happy.

Robbie Keane scored 2 goals for Spurs! So happy! *Jumps up and down in excitement*

I bet Stella is overjoyed! I'm a part-time Spurs supporter. Full-time Chelsea supporter and pain in the neck.

And poor Jose Mourinho! He got spat at as soon as he arrived in Barcelona. Uncivilized people! Do we spit at you? All you do is moan about the potato-patch and spit at people! Kill them, boys!

Frankie might be playing in the crucial tie! Rejoice!

*Bluesy* out.

Am I going out of my mind?

I went to sleep at 1 AM. Only to be awakened by this weird dream at 2:45 AM. I had this dream when I was younger [about 9 or so]. Only this time, the people in it were different and that I had grown up. And it's the first time I had an interrupted sleep in my new room!

It goes like this.

I was with Kylie and Su Tze at the LRT station, but the station was on a canyon and below it was a river. There was a dog barking loudly at use. Though I was afraid of it, I grabbed it by the neck and threw it down into the river [a bit inhumane, but it happened in the dream!], only for it to run back up to the canyon immediately! By then, I got into the train with the girls and prayed that the dog didn't get into the same coach as mine. But I could hear the barks VERY loudly.

And then, I got down at another LRT station, but I couldn't see Kylie and Su Tze anymore. Instead I saw Priya. Then, I heard the dog bark again, and got a bit worried that it might attack me for throwing it down into the river, but Priya assured me that it wouldn't harm me because it was going somewhere else.

So we moved on to this deserted and shabby-looking railway station, this time Priya went missing and I saw my parents. So I told them what happened. My dad then tells me that Sentul isn't the only place which isn't safe to live in, and that the dog is actually some kind of wolf. So we walked on into the tunnels of that railways station as though we were evacuating ourselves from some great disaster/forces of evil. My mum was walking beside me, while my dad was walking beside my cousin's father [he died 2-3 years ago]. He was telling my dad that *things were going back to the way they were 9 years ago* and my dad agreed with him. At that point, a wolf was howling. My mum and I were walking on the left side of the tracks where we saw a group of drug addicts sitting on our path, so my mum pulls me away and we walked on the right side of tracks. Then, she points towards them and tells me that they were murderers and they had no meaning in life. At this point, I started crying and tell her to stop telling me all this horrible things.

And then I woke up.

Why did I have this dream after 10 years? Why did I throw the dog into the river? What happened to Su Tze, Kylie and Priya? Why did that man appear in my dreams anyway [I don't really like him]? What did he mean by *things are going back to the way they were 9 years ago*? What is going to happen?

My parents say it's just a dream. But you don't dream things that you've dreamt when you were 9 again, do you? I mean, if I had that dream for the past few days, it's called recurring dreams and I won't freak out so much. I dreamt it when I was 9, for God's sake! Why is it happening again? Why am I reliving this dream again?

So what is it?

A dream, like what my parents say?

OR...

A sign, like what me and Sree think?


Am I going out of my mind?

I think I need a haircut. Maybe that's what clouding my poor brains. Joe Cole needs a haircut as well.

Argh...I can't upload his pic! Will upload later, hopefully.

*Bluesy* out!

Dead tired...and depressed

If ever I'm not depressed, please pop open a bottle of red wine [champagne is also acceptable]. I mean it.

I woke up with a bloody headache, and what I read in the newspapers today didn't help me one bit. It didn't even ease my raging headache, in fact, it made it even worse!

I read that Chelsea plan to sign Michael Ballack from Bayern Munich and they will sell FRANK LAMPARD to BARCELONA because apparently, the mother of his child [in case you don't know the penguin's name, it's ELEN RIVES and the child's name is LUNA] is from Barcelona, so he wants to stay there! I got so upset in the morning that I even pretended to stab myself in the heart [the way Sylvien and Priya always do it when they see something that disappoints them]. I AM SO GOD-DAMN DEPRESSED! WHY DO WE EVEN NEED MICHAEL BALLACK WHO IS A MIDFIELDER AND HAS KNACK FOR SCORING GOALS, WHEN WE HAVE A MIDFIELD LYNCHPIN NAMED FRANK LAMPARD WHO IS ALSO A MIDFIELDER WHO SCORES REGULARLY??? Pretty baseless and illogical anyway!

Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?

And I hope that bloody penguin he calls a wife [not me!] can sleep at night for what she's done! She won't have to deal with the split loyalties issue anymore if he moves to Barcelona. Stupid, ugly, and uncute penguin. I hate you so! I will throw daggers at you if ever I see you! ARGH...don't leave Chelsea! We need you there!

I'm so depressed to the point of of slapping my Scouser. My punching bag is back! =)

I know. I shouldn't abused my friends for my own benefit, but the Scouser doesn't mind. As long as I don't beat her in congkak [she still claims I cheat!]. Stupid Scouser.

Had to do my Malaysian Studies project. I think I might join Pengacara Jemputan Nona next time it come around. I hate it when you become one of those host that talk while they walk. It's so weird. I'm paranoid, like what my dear Sree says. I'm glad we have completed three quarter of it. Whee...more time for my other assignments!

When I tell people that I want to do things [say my assignments] by myself, I just get really annoyed when they tell me that I want to prove to my parents that I'm big enough and I want to prove to them that I'm independent. What on Earth was that about? I really don't ask my parents for help unless I really need it. What makes you think I'm so ditzy and stupid that I have to ask them to do everything for me? I know I'm not as intelligent and smart as you are, doesn't mean I don't have a brain to think of what I'm supposed to do. I do my work, and my parents like to have a last look at it before I hand it in. At least, my parents care about my homework to the extent of them doing spell-checks and being the walking thesaurus for me. I only seek help from my parents when I need it. Whatever you say may seem like a joke to you, but not to me. I have feelings too, you know. My feelings are so fragile, that I end up having very, very, very suicidal thought at times. So, please watch your words. It's not one person, in fact it's like almost everyone I know. So don't worry, YOU'LL NEVER WALK ALONE.

And anyway, Frankie didn't play in today's match against West Bromwich Albion. So depressed. But we won [As expected! If we lost, I'd do that whole stabbing motion for the whole of next week!]. 2-1 thanks to Didier Drogba and Joe Cole. Kanu pulled one back for the Baggies. I hope he's well enough to play for us against Barca this coming Wednesday...we need a BIG MIRACLE to win. Do you think we can win it? Yes, I certainly hope so.

Only time shall tell.

I'm so god-damn depressed. Anyone know anything that can make me feel good?

*Bluesy* out!

Achtung...

WARNING: The author of this blog is a bit unstable at the moment, so please bear with her nonsense.

I was in the midst of the counselling session when Sree sent me an SMS, saying that:

*Come online faster. Your ex just asked me out!*

I nearly choked with laughter. I came home and asked her what happened.

From what I understand [I read the conversation], apparently he found himself a potential/prospective girlfriend and he wants Sree to give her opinion about that girl by inviting her to see a movie with him and another 20 other friends tomorrow.

If you asked me, I think the girl he is trying to woo is Sree [no, I haven't gone crazy, neurotic, insane whatsoever!]. I am, as you all would know, over him and don't care two hoots about whoever he's going out with. He has his own life, while I have mine. But you know, from what I read, he gave a very VAGUE [I can't believe how much CTS is helping me here] idea of what she is supposed to do, and what the girl is like [you know, some guys would like to sugar-coat the niceness of so-and-so and all that jazz]. And 20 friends? Wow...that sounds like a double date times 10! And before that he asked her: *How is Rowena?* . That just sounded weird, didn't it? I mean you're already found the 'right girl' for yourself, why bother asking my friend how I'm doing? What's the point? It's either he wants to find out whether I successfully married Frank Lampard [in other words that will not make you think I'm deranged or something, I'm already taken] or he still misses me. I AM NOT TRYING TO SOUND CONCEITED OR ANYTHING OF THAT SORT, BUT IT'S TRUE!

Excuse me for sounding neurotic. It's true in a way. I don't care what he does, but if he plays around with my best friend, he'll have to answer to me. I'll make him wish he had never been born.

You know another weird thing? I sent him a message somewhere 2 weeks ago, and then the annoyance stopped. How can anyone just forget you in the span of 2 weeks, when all this while he kept telling you that he was still in love with you after 6 months of the break-up? A bit illogical right? Okay, I'm insane and self-centred. Sue me.

Whatever. The world needs more people like me. That way, we'd all be happy and crazy and become Chelsea worshippers. And that stupid Scouser named Lysa claims I cheated while playing congkak! Stupid Scouser, don't even know how to play and puts the blame on me. Stupid Scouser. =P

And I want to be Frank Lampard's counsellor/psychologist. Don't laugh! It's not wrong to have dreams right? Dare to dream!

Move On...

*Bluesy* out!

I'm blogging!

I'm blogging right now...which means...I did quite okay for my English.

I got 15.8 out 20. Well, maybe 16 now because I got some additional marks. It IS good, isn't it?

And for the crappy essay I wrote, I got 17 out of 20! Not bad for some essay that's considered as garbage [in my standards]. I am still in shock, because I expected to get less than 15.8! And England beat Uruguay 2-1 [thanks to Peter Crouch and Joe Cole]! *Jumps up and down in excitement*

But all this excitement will have to take a backseat as I would like to pay tribute to a Chelsea legend named Peter Osgood also known as THE KING OF STAMFORD BRIDGE, who passed away suddenly at a funeral yesterday. I never heard of him before due to the fact I only became a staunch supporter of Chelsea for the past 4 years, but hopefully with the help of that centenary book, I will be able to understand the history of the club and players better. From what I've read about Peter Osgood, I can see that he is to Chelsea what George Best is to Manchester United. Here's something I got off the Official Chelsea site.

Long live King Ossie
Wednesday, March 01, 2006

"There are so many reasons why Peter Osgood became the King of Stamford Bridge.

The swagger, the goals both in quality and number, the devastating skill from a man of six feet two inches, the arrogance, the cheek, the humour...he was unique.

There were goals of outrageous skill, Southampton at home, Burnley away, the hat-tricks, four goals at Crystal Palace in dreadful conditions, five goals at home to Jeunesse Hautcharage in the European Cup Winners' Cup, stunning volleys against top European teams and Arsenal in the FA Cup, and of course that diving header against Leeds in the FA Cup Final replay.

There was the occasion against Everton in 1973 when he scored his 100th League goal and once the game had finished celebrated in 'Ossie' fashion with a lap of honour throwing kisses to the crowd.

There was the anger, petulance, moments of lost desire and laziness, the non-football headlines, drunkenness, women, actress Raquel Welch waving at him and blowing kisses from the touchline during a game. He seemed to live the life of every fan as well as the King.

In an age when the tackle from behind was allowed, he was the complete centre-forward. He had more skill than anyone then and probably anyone now, he was brave, hard, could beat people, get away from them, he was great in the air, he was a breathtaking passer who constantly set up goals for others, he had vision and innovation.

And Ossie was ours, Chelsea's. He came from the youth ranks, although he'd escaped the scouting net and had become a bricklayer in his home town Windsor. He came for a trial and was withdrawn at half-time of a game in case the opposition spotted him, and was signed immediately.

In recent years he'd become the settled family man with wife Linda. He visited the training ground with his youngest son Darren to watch Jose Mourinho at work, and the manager came over and greeted them with real affection.

Ossie had aura, both on the pitch and off. Last year he held a testimonial dinner in Central London on the day of the PFA seasonal awards. Captain John Terry, on his way to collecting the Player of the Year award, dropped in to pay his respects and meet the people who had turned out for the King.

At the end, we have to remember him most as a great footballer, as someone who seemed born to the big occasion. Why else, 25 years on, when we cemented our position at the top of the Premiership against Liverpool as recently as February 6th, would he have enjoyed the ground singing: "Osgood, Osgood, Osgood, Osgood, born is the King of Stamford Bridge," as he walked round the pitch at half-time in honour of the club's centenary.

He was the King, he is the King, he will always be the King."


God bless Peter Osgood, THE KING OF STAMFORD BRIDGE. ~1947-2006~

I wish, that for Peter Osgood's sake, the current team will beat Barcelona in the 2nd leg of the 2nd round of the Champions League next week in Nou Camp, and that they'll go on all the way to Paris.

~Two of the best players in Chelsea. Gianfranco Zola and the late Peter Osgood~


~1947-2006. RIP, THE KING OF STAMFORD BRIDGE~


~This goal was meant for you...Joe Cole after scoring the winner against Uruguay. He dedicated his goal to Peter Osgood and his family~


~This pic was taken after Frank scored the first goal against Portsmouth. Apparently, the KING had a website of his own, in which he gave his opinions about Chelsea, and photos of him talking with Jose Mourinho. In his last post, which was written a day before he passed away, he praised Chelsea's fighting spirit in that match. He signed off with: "More in a couple of weeks". The REAL TRUE BLUE~

To make my day sadder, I lost my favourite blue mechanical pencil of 4 years! I had to buy a new one. I'm so depressed [when am I ever not depressed?].

I'm turning in for the night. Good night all.

*Bluesy* out!