Don't press the panic button!

Stats quiz was okay...I felt stupid when I answered the first question. I didn't know what the question was about! =S But then after confirming with other smart kids [I'm NOT smart, just lucky!] I felt relieved that my first answer was the same as theirs.

She was right! 4 hours to study 4 chapters of Stats is enough. I studied at 4-5 PM for Chapter 6 [because I wanted to watch Monk and The Simpsons!], and from 10-1 AM for Chapters 7, 8, and 9. She is a genius. She knows us too well.

Well, with the exception of what she said of Brazil, of course. [She said that we shouldn't waste our sleep to watch Brazil play, because everyone knows they will win! Haha...at the end of the day, they lost to France!].

*****

You know how I've always wished I was a born a boy because of the horrible colour of clothes and things that are in line with it [note to self: come up with a list of why I should've been born a boy]? I found a new reason. I hate being a girl because we love to bitch about each other.

By now, some of you know that I don't forgive easily. It's just me. If you hurt me badly, I won't to have anything to do with you. When women fight, we don't make up. We basically bitch, and after the fight we have vendettas at the back of our heads. Of course, it depends on what the fight is about. But even for the smallest reason we fight and we hate each other immediately.

Men have EVERYTHING easy. When they fight, the can kiss and make up within five minutes [or less]. Then don't have any stupid vendettas, instead they don't care. They don't bitch about other guys. They fight and then they are all okay with each other, because frankly they don't know why they fought in the first place.

I told you, I must have been a boy in my past life! Well, I know Malays don't believe in reincarnation but I feel like it's true.

*****

She was talking to me like nothing happened. I can't pretend anymore. I'm dying inside because of all this acting. I'm not like ST. I can never forget and never forgive.

How do you expect me to go back to the time before all this shit happened knowing that it did happen? I'm NO fake. I can't pretend to be happy and forget that it ever happened like you! You don't have my trust and respect anymore. I just felt like stabbing myself when you talked to me, VERY NICELY. After all that drama you caused that day, you expect me to forgive you? NO WAY!

I may appear like a stupid little girl that people can just manipulate me to get what they want, but I'm not THAT stupid to see all these lies. When she sat with us today, I just wanted to run away and sit somewhere else. I hate being a bitch, but I'm still a wounded tiger. I can't be really forgiving because when that happens, everyone will climb over my head. After what happened with my cousin's family [the incident with the stolen jewelleries and 'lost' shirt], I've learnt never to let anyone get to my head. That's how I broke up with my 3rd ex [who shall remain nameless in this blog]. I've grown up.

Don't try to be nice with me. You're not getting back my trust, friendship, and respect. You can go around lying to the world, but NOT me.

This is why I hate being a girl. Too much emotion all racked up in one body.

*****

I need to buy a new stapler, since my new one is lost without trace. Sigh...

Finals is like in two weeks time. Then, my one-year journey of seeing myself taller in more ways all comes to an absolute end; and my 2-month journey of doing absolutely nothing comes to an awesome start.

My dad said we might be going to Aussie for a holiday. I haven't been on a holiday since my SPM ended [One-day road-trips to Melaka or Johor are NOT counted as holidays! Even the trip to Trolak was NOT a holiday because it was a leadership camp!] so I DEFINITELY deserve a break. *fingers crossed* I got most of the stuff I wanted [digital camera, Chelsea biography, ASTRO] after each semester, so after my third semester, I want a holiday. Either that, or I want to go on a shopping spree. Better yet, if I don't get any of those, I prefer to sleep.

Good news is I get to spend more time at home and with my friends that will be leaving the country soon. Swarna's leaving to Indonesia while Sham's going back to Russia.

Speaking of Sham, I went to her house today and it was fun to see her! She can actually cook and she bought me a doll-in-another-doll thing. Can't remember what they're called but it's lovely! I've always wanted one of those!

She can cook and she's a vegetarian! Would you believe this girl?

I agree with her mum and sister. She won't last long as a vegetarian. Even if that's her resolution.

Why am I being SO negative? I should be supportive! Just because I denounce vegetables altogether, doesn't mean I must disrespect a person who believes in eating vegetables!


This looks gay. Oh Petr, why did you have to be photographed doing such an act? Eh, he's got big arms! But still skinny. =)

Cannavaro's going to Real Madrid. Sigh...we didn't pray hard enough now, did we?

I'm going to eat fruits to entertain myself. Can't keep eating McDonalds' Chocolate Sundae with extra chocolate.

I want an Italian player in the Chelsea team!

Oh wait, we got Carlo Cudicini already, so no need for one.

I'm sad. Don't talk to me. =(

*Bluesy* out!