What do I know?

The grass is greener on the other side. It's true. I want to stay in the US. Regardless of what people tell me, I want to stay there.

The only downside of staying there is the food, of course. Can't live on Thai and Indian food all the time!

I must have said this to my parents so many times. The best time to leave the country is now.

I'm serious.

What is it with people about judging you about your race? I used to get offended when the Pizza Hut waiter classifies me as Indian, not Malay. But it's normal. Even the waiters in Ali Maju thinks I'm Indian even though I'm wearing baju kurung.

I had no trouble mixing with people of other races. That's why most of my friends are non-Malays. Most of the Malays just think I'm a freak. Probably I'm slightly darker than them, or maybe possess some different features compared to them. Or maybe I was considered a freak because I speak better English than most of them [not bragging, it's a fact]. Whatever the reason, I never felt happy in school. The teachers never made it any better for me. They will question my faith, and hurl insults indirectly at me, and they will be fucking nice to me when they need something [re: asking my dad to sponsor mineral water for some event just because he was a PIBG member!]. Twisted, corrupted souls! I always thought that I had no place in that school. Isn't diversity important?

Of course, to them only those PURE Malays are the good apples in the basket, while we kids of mixed parentage are the devils that spoil those good apples. Just because I don't look like one, I don't do things that leave people questioning my faith [except for the alcohol consumption occassionally]. I don't go to bars, have sex in public, or dress like a slut. Because that's not who I am. Just because I'm mixed, doesn't mean I don't know what my religion is, what I'm supposed to do and not supposed to do. I have brains too, you know.

At least I'm happier now. No more torments from bitches that rule the school. All I can do is pray that the young ones can bear with them and also the ugly walls of the school. It's really ugly. Yellow and pink walls greet you as you go in. Inside, brown doors, pink walls and orange pillars is pulling you to learn new things everyday.

God bless you kids. Thank God I'm out of that fucked up school.

Racial integration isn't something you can force. It has to be built since young. My school used to have this system of lining up race by race. Which I thought was extremely stupid, considering the fact that my class had ONLY 5 Malays, 5 Chinese and 13 Indians. How do you line up race by race? What's wrong if we choose to line up with our friends? It's no sin.

The only reason I didn't want to go to UIAM was because I didn't want to be around these people who would make me feel like I was back in high school again.

Only my mum thought I wanted to waste loads of money on HELP.

At least my dad understood my situation and decided to put me in HELP.

I'm happy. =)

But it all comes to an end in another 7 days.

Then I'm going shopping! For books, CDs and maybe clothes. And chocolates!

And at the rate our country is going, we're all screwed.

*****

I want to buy Keane's *Under The Iron Sea* and Jamie Cullum's *Twentysomething* and *Catching Tales*. Now, I only need Finance Minister's approval.

One week more...=(

I'm going to miss the Frenchman. I won't be having any classes in the main block when I start my degree. Sigh...so sad.

At least, I saw him wear a different shirt for a change [he always wears this white short-sleeved shirt and brown trousers]. He wore a blue shirt!

I'm a deranged, spastic maddox on the run. Fear me.

*Bluesy* out!