Just me...and what my deranged mind wants to tell you...

My results are pretty much convincing [except for that dent I got in Maths]. Otherwise, I'd get 4HDs [which is equivalent to 4 A1s]. I got 3HDs and 1CR [in other words, 3 A1s and 1 B3]. I'm delighted to say that despite all the troubles and problems I faced before the start of my course, I have shown everyone the REAL me. The one who'd never let anything get in her way. The one who'd fight tooth and nail for anything. The one who'd fall at first and then triumph and prevail as the victorious one in the end. The one who'd seem as innocent until provoked. The one who'd come as very stupid and timid but in fact, not quite that. YES, THAT ME!

I may have not gotten 4HDs as much as I'd like to, but just getting 3HDs and 1 CR shows that I'm stronger. I can see that I'm capable of being something greater than I already am. I always believe that I'm trying to associate myself with Frank because I like him. But the truth is, the more I read about him, the more I feel like we have many things in common. The fact that we silenced those who doubt us, by proving our worth. What we're made of. Call me a fanatic or what, but this is how I feel.

I lost one of my friends due to unforeseen circumstances with my ex. Same thing happened with my other friends. Those who weren't from Convent Sentul. I broke up with my ex at the end of July this year, only for him to accuse me of *being influenced by someone else*, *confused*, and *seeing someone new*. This same ex tried to trick me by pretending to be a *stranger* and adding me in my Friendster account. What does he think I am? Stupid? He's dead wrong if he thinks I'm the one who's stupid. Because he's the one who's that STUPID to try to pull a trick like that with me! I told you, I wasn't ready to be in a relationship. I felt trapped, suffocated, and not free. I wanted to be the OLD me, where I don't have to compromise with anyone to change my psychotic antics.

I came out of that painful relationship which brought me more mayhem than matrimony, by joining college. It was my first appearance as a SO-CALLED NEW ME, where I actually changed to the OLD ME. I was the Chelsea crazy-rock chick-non cooking believer self. I loved it! I love the SAME OLD BRAND NEW ME!

I made friends and a few enemies there. It's okay, as far as I'm concerned, no one has to like you and vice versa. I made a promise to my parents and my brother that I'd get good grades so that I can prove the fact that even if I didn't get the results I expected for SPM, I can still come out looking like a champion. I stayed true to my Chelsea-obsessed ways, and I managed to escape my parents' fury by getting these results. I remember sitting down, studying and having the PC on, trying to secretly blog without my mother knowing it, and the best part of all: having THE KILLERS or JAMES BLUNT playing so loudly on my radio. I remember seeing my mother screaming at me for doing all that, and me laughing about it. And I remember seeing my dad telling me that I wasn't focused on my studies because of what I did. I'm glad to say that what I did saw me through my exams and made me achieve good results. I knew that I'd get a HD for my Computing Principles because I think that's the only subject I put my heart and soul into. But the other 2 were unexpected. My CR in Maths was just me being plain lucky. I thought I'd get a PS! But I did way better than what I expected.

Here, I'd like to thank the people who always make my days brighter than they used to be.

First of all, I'd like to thank Allah. For testing my faith in Him. I admit, there have been times I have forgotten about you, I was too engrossed with the outside world, that I've never shown how grateful I am of all the blessings you've showered upon me. I am always grateful for everything I have. I've been tried and tested before, only to say that He is being unfair to me. In reality, He's fair to everyone. Now, whenever I feel tried and tested, I take it all in my stride.

I'd like to thank my family [includes the extended family], for always sticking up for me, no matter what. I always love you for being the way God made you. The love you've showered upon me will not go to waste. God knows I've been blessed with you...

I'd like to thank my friends, be it from Convent Sentul, outside of Convent Sentul, HELP University College, and from anywhere I can't really recall [blame my short-term memory for that!]. Thank you for seeing me the way you should [and might I add also, the way you shouldn't!]. Thank you also for being supportive of me.

I'd like to thank my best friend of almost 15 years, DELMIERA ASHANTI YEN-MAY LEE-CHAUDHARY, and also my other group of close friend that make up the -The JaZZy SouL SoCieTy- : Lilee, Lysa, A.J, Jeevan, and Stella. Thank you for being there just when I needed you most. Thank you for dealing with my psychotic self. Thank you for all that jokes, and the constant advice you people have given me when I was in dire straits. Thanks also for being my part-time cheerleaders!

Most importantly, I'd like to thank the man who has been my hero in Chelsea FC. The one I look up to, and respect, idolise, and love. Frank Lampard. You may not know who I am. But I shall not say I'm your NO.1 fan. Let's just say I'm a fan, who thinks you're truly amazing and special. I'm a fan who is very much obsessed about you, but looks up at you as a hero. You have inspired me to be a person dedicated to my work. I really respect you, the way you never give in to setbacks, and the way you silence those who doubt you. Thank you for being the inspiration of my COMEBACK. I adore you.

I thank you all again. But I know, no amount of thank you's is sufficient for my GOOD RESULTS.

*If you think it's corny of me to write something like this even though my first semester results were just released this morning, I'll tell you this. I never expected this results. I thought I get bad results. But, I got better results. And these people deserve a special mention for seeing/making my COMEBACK of my OLD SELF a success. Especially Frank Lampard. Even if he doesn't know me. These people made the OLD ME come back A TRUE CHAMPION. Just like what Frank Lampard said: It's the ultimate accolade. Think again. It's not corny!*

And my dad was pleased for my results. Except that he said I should have gotten a HD for Maths. *At least you gave it your all, you tried your level best and got that. That's what matters most. And that's what makes me happy*...that's what my dad told me. Thank you, dad. I still can't believe it! I'm still staring at my results page! And seeing *GOODBYE MY LOVER* by James Blunt on TV before the results were out, just made my day more beautiful for me to savour this victory.

*Bluesy* out!