Saturday, July 29, 2006

I want to die

I want to die. I told you all before that if I say anything that leaves the impression that I'm always depressed and suicidal, please don't think I'm never happy.

My impressively good mood has just faded away. All because of 'he who shall not be named'.

ChU cIn says:
che
ChU cIn says:
matt send regards 2 u ah
- ®õwena ƒ£ - : *if only i don't bend and break, i'll meet you on the other side* says:
y does he wanna send me his regards?
ChU cIn says:
ka che
ChU cIn says:
he still care bout u
- ®õwena ƒ£ - : *if only i don't bend and break, i'll meet you on the other side* says:
i don't
ChU cIn says:
i duno wat happen between both of ur
ChU cIn says:
bt i can feel dat he still like u
- ®õwena ƒ£ - : *if only i don't bend and break, i'll meet you on the other side* says:
but even if he still likes me or what, i don't
- ®õwena ƒ£ - : *if only i don't bend and break, i'll meet you on the other side* says:
i can't let him think that we have hopes of being together
- ®õwena ƒ£ - : *if only i don't bend and break, i'll meet you on the other side* says:
because in truth we don't
ChU cIn says:
ka che
ChU cIn says:
love is blind wan ah
ChU cIn says:
u wont noe u n him gt hopes of being together or nt
ChU cIn says:
everi thing is n god's hand
- ®õwena ƒ£ - : *please stab me right in the heart, i want to die* says:
but i don't want
ChU cIn says:
ka che ah
ChU cIn says:
i guess u mind u n him diferent kaum
ChU cIn says:
i duno or nt
ChU cIn says:
u give me a feeling like dat
- ®õwena ƒ£ - : *please stab me right in the heart, i want to die* says:
what u mean different kaum?
- ®õwena ƒ£ - : *please stab me right in the heart, i want to die* says:
u mean i think different level?
ChU cIn says:
n u give me a feeling dat u hate him veri much
- ®õwena ƒ£ - : *please stab me right in the heart, i want to die* says:
nobody has the same mentality
ChU cIn says:
no
ChU cIn says:
wat i mean is ur bangsa
- ®õwena ƒ£ - : *please stab me right in the heart, i want to die* says:
this has nothing to do with bangsa
ChU cIn says:
i duno la ka che
ChU cIn says:
u give me a feeling like dat
ChU cIn says:
i hope is nt true
- ®õwena ƒ£ - : *please stab me right in the heart, i want to die* says:
it's nothing to do with bangsa
ChU cIn says:
ok
ChU cIn says:
sr ah ka che if i made u angry
- ®õwena ƒ£ - : *please stab me right in the heart, i want to die* says:
nvm la
- ®õwena ƒ£ - : *please stab me right in the heart, i want to die* says:
happens to me everyday
ChU cIn says:
ok
- ®õwena ƒ£ - : *please stab me right in the heart, i want to die* says:
can u do me a favour?
ChU cIn says:
sure
- ®õwena ƒ£ - : *please stab me right in the heart, i want to die* says:
can u tell him to get a life?
ChU cIn says:
meaning
- ®õwena ƒ£ - : *please stab me right in the heart, i want to die* says:
ask him to find a new gf and forget me
- ®õwena ƒ£ - : *please stab me right in the heart, i want to die* says:
i have my finals next week
- ®õwena ƒ£ - : *please stab me right in the heart, i want to die* says:
i can't afford to go through what i went through during spm
- ®õwena ƒ£ - : *please stab me right in the heart, i want to die* says:
i want to concentrate without any problem
ChU cIn says:
ka che
ChU cIn says:
u think so easy meh 2 4get
- ®õwena ƒ£ - : *please stab me right in the heart, i want to die* says:
u think i dunno what love is about?
- ®õwena ƒ£ - : *please stab me right in the heart, i want to die* says:
i had a harder time forgetting my ex who died
- ®õwena ƒ£ - : *please stab me right in the heart, i want to die* says:
u dunno how that feels like
ChU cIn says:
maybe i duno
- ®õwena ƒ£ - : *please stab me right in the heart, i want to die* says:
so dun tell me it's easy to forget someone
ChU cIn says:
ok
ChU cIn says:
i will tell him

Note: She is supposed to be my pet sis, but I think she's more of his pet sis, considering how she puts him on a pedestal.

What the fuck is wrong with these people? I think they'd probably be happier if I died of something because then they have no one to bug.

She even had the audacity to say that I had racial issues! WHAT IN THE NAME OF HASH BROWNS? I come from a mixed Malay-Sri Lankan Sinhalese parentage and have a Chinese twin, so why in the name of God I would have racial issues? That's like classifying me as a racist. Which I know I'm not. I have many Malay, Indian and Chinese friends. To say something like that can be constituted under slander and I can fucking sue them for making such defamatory statements.

And she goes on telling me that love is blind. I mean, here is a 15-year-old girl telling me about love being blind, when she used to tell me that love is painful and she had more ex-boyfriends than me. She so needs to counsel herself rather than counsel me about love.

And she asks me whether do I think it's easy to forget someone? Of course not! I was really sad when my first ex died. I was inconsolable. So I know that it's not easy to forget someone. So don't talk to me as though I have no experience in love. Don't EVER underestimate my intelligence. If you do, you're just fucking stupid to do so. I'm much smarter than you.

If you can't handle the truth because of your fucking ego, you can kindly fuck some other bitch you meet. Don't think I don't know your fucking sleazy ways.


WHY CAN'T YOU LEAVE ME ALONE? STOP TORMENTING ME. PLEASE RELEASE ME.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH, YOU BASTARD. NOW I CAN'T STUDY BECAUSE I'M ANGRY. I HATE TO STUDY WHEN I'M BLOODY MAD.

THANKS ALSO FOR MAKING MY MOOD FUCKED UP BEFORE I GO TO SLEEP.


I'm bending and breaking...

I want to wilt slowly and die. Go away.

Something useful from Law...

Private nuisance - continuous, unlawful and indirect interference with the use or enjoyment of land, or of some right over or in connection with it.

Three kinds of private nuisance:
*nuisance by enroachment on a neighbour's land.
*nuisance by direct physical injury to a neighbour's land.
*nuisance by interference with a neighbour's quiet enjoyment of his land.


I would like to sue my front neighbour for interfering with my quiet Saturday morning slumber by singing her usual Chinese opera songs at 8:30AM! She is a private nuisance. At 8:30AM on a Saturday morning, which sane human being would sing so loudly? I don't care if your voice is like Siti Nurhaliza's or what, I need my sleep, so don't deprive me of it!

She doesn't not have a golden voice [she sings completely out of tune and really draggy!] and she sings these really nice-sounding songs [I have listened to them when she doesn't sing] and sometimes sings the Gong Xi Fa Cai song even when it's not Chinese New Year!

And to make matters worse, she has speakers outside of her house. Don't ask me why she has that outside her house. One word: MAD.

So inconsiderate. We tell her to lower the volume a little, she closes her door and draws her curtain and continues singing her lungs out.

Stick to singing in the loo, you crazy old woman.
*****

Yesterday, we saw this he/she kissing a lady, the girlfriend I think. PDA! Indecent behaviour! Yeah, yeah...say what you want. I sensed deja vu all over again. My lecturer was telling us all about his encounter with one he/she kissing a man! Don't corrupt young innocent souls like me!

If I say anything really stupid, don't blame the sickness. I'm well now. Blame me.

I hate studying. I feel like sleeping.

I want chocolates. Or something that isn't porridge.

*Bluesy* out!

Friday, July 28, 2006

You're definitely beautiful...

Have you ever had that feeling of singing *You're Beautiful* to something you really want to own but you know you can't have?

It happened to me today.

There it was, the most beautiful thing that the Earth has ever seen. Staring at me right in the face, pleading me to buy it, tempting me to wear it.

But having no money, I had to be dragged out of the store by my parents. I couldn't help staring at that majestic beauty. I fell in love with it the moment I laid my eyes on it. How could I leave it there and not bring it home?

I was staring and drooling at it for God knows how long. We were meant for each other. I wish I could take it home, but money talks.

Everytime I saw it, I got so sad. All because I couldn't bring the beauty home with me.

That was sad. I almost cried. I hope that beauty will wait for me. I made a vow that I will come back to get it.

~You were meant for me, and I was meant for you...~
*****

Enough of that. I got a haircut! Very short. I shall upload nice photos taken over the week.

The purple boria team...they love purple SO much! Aint' she the sweetest thing you've ever seen? That's Ruth, a year older. Still tiny though.


She's much cuter than that! She looks so darn sleepy here. The only shot with her looking at the camera. And it turned out to be like that!


Me...before haircut. 5 days ago. Damn whoever who took this pic of me! At least I could have posed a little if they hadn't decided to take a rather ugly candid shot of me! Oh, that's my early birthday present my mum gave me. The dragonfly necklace.


Me...after haircut. Today. Excuse the shiny face. Just back from MidValley. My new hairdo. I love it! My mum says it's nice, but my dad hasn't said much. Though I know that it means deep inside, he's boiling mad with this new hairdo. I don't care. As long as I'm happy.


No. I haven't turned into Paris. Just showing you how my new hairdo looks like. Understand?
*****

This is really funny. My mum gave me this pre-paid card of Andriy Shevchenko which she found on the road! She actually took it home and washed it and kept it for me. I did tell her that my friend gave the same card before. Apparently, she felt guilty because I kept on saying "I hope you're happy that you have deprived me of feeling happy seeing Andriy Shevchenko score!" in this Fenerbahce-AC Milan game the other day. He scored four goals! And I was watching the game at first, but she wanted to watch Gerak Khas [That show is lame! Who chats using Microsoft PowerPoint-lah? At least know how to bluff the audience a bit-lah. I even saw the words 'click here to add notes' throughout the stupid 'chat session'. It was so darn obvious! Lousy liars!]. And everytime the advertisements came on, I'll continue watching the game, only for her to change again! And then if the adverts were still on, we'd change it back, and by then he scored one goal! So in the span of 30 seconds of channel-flipping during adverts, a goal was scored!

Eventhough it was an old match, I wanted to feed my football-thirsty soul. So I watched it.

And my mum thinks Rui Costa is cute. I think he is too.

Great minds think alike.

*Bluesy* out!

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Where have you gone?


Where has that happy me gone to?

Oh, that's right. It died fighting the whole world.

It will only be resurrected on August 13th.

I hate being a fake. It's because I can't. My voice sounds fake, but the actions definitely don't portray anything related to the word 'fake'.

So what do I usually do? Act like how a normal sane person would do: pretend to have something eat up your insides.

~If only I don't bend and break, I'll meet you on the other side, I'll meet you in the light,
If only I don't I don't suffocate, I'll meet you in the morning when you wake...~



Tired of the same shit everyday. We might as well be strangers.

~Do you realise that it's been one year since I've been single? Wow. That's fast. I'm happy again. =) ~

Everybody's changing. Except me. Should I change? From a manic-depressive and almost suicidal child to a more happy and sanity-intact teen?

You tell me.

What do I know?

The grass is greener on the other side. It's true. I want to stay in the US. Regardless of what people tell me, I want to stay there.

The only downside of staying there is the food, of course. Can't live on Thai and Indian food all the time!

I must have said this to my parents so many times. The best time to leave the country is now.

I'm serious.

What is it with people about judging you about your race? I used to get offended when the Pizza Hut waiter classifies me as Indian, not Malay. But it's normal. Even the waiters in Ali Maju thinks I'm Indian even though I'm wearing baju kurung.

I had no trouble mixing with people of other races. That's why most of my friends are non-Malays. Most of the Malays just think I'm a freak. Probably I'm slightly darker than them, or maybe possess some different features compared to them. Or maybe I was considered a freak because I speak better English than most of them [not bragging, it's a fact]. Whatever the reason, I never felt happy in school. The teachers never made it any better for me. They will question my faith, and hurl insults indirectly at me, and they will be fucking nice to me when they need something [re: asking my dad to sponsor mineral water for some event just because he was a PIBG member!]. Twisted, corrupted souls! I always thought that I had no place in that school. Isn't diversity important?

Of course, to them only those PURE Malays are the good apples in the basket, while we kids of mixed parentage are the devils that spoil those good apples. Just because I don't look like one, I don't do things that leave people questioning my faith [except for the alcohol consumption occassionally]. I don't go to bars, have sex in public, or dress like a slut. Because that's not who I am. Just because I'm mixed, doesn't mean I don't know what my religion is, what I'm supposed to do and not supposed to do. I have brains too, you know.

At least I'm happier now. No more torments from bitches that rule the school. All I can do is pray that the young ones can bear with them and also the ugly walls of the school. It's really ugly. Yellow and pink walls greet you as you go in. Inside, brown doors, pink walls and orange pillars is pulling you to learn new things everyday.

God bless you kids. Thank God I'm out of that fucked up school.

Racial integration isn't something you can force. It has to be built since young. My school used to have this system of lining up race by race. Which I thought was extremely stupid, considering the fact that my class had ONLY 5 Malays, 5 Chinese and 13 Indians. How do you line up race by race? What's wrong if we choose to line up with our friends? It's no sin.

The only reason I didn't want to go to UIAM was because I didn't want to be around these people who would make me feel like I was back in high school again.

Only my mum thought I wanted to waste loads of money on HELP.

At least my dad understood my situation and decided to put me in HELP.

I'm happy. =)

But it all comes to an end in another 7 days.

Then I'm going shopping! For books, CDs and maybe clothes. And chocolates!

And at the rate our country is going, we're all screwed.
*****

I want to buy Keane's *Under The Iron Sea* and Jamie Cullum's *Twentysomething* and *Catching Tales*. Now, I only need Finance Minister's approval.

One week more...=(

I'm going to miss the Frenchman. I won't be having any classes in the main block when I start my degree. Sigh...so sad.

At least, I saw him wear a different shirt for a change [he always wears this white short-sleeved shirt and brown trousers]. He wore a blue shirt!

I'm a deranged, spastic maddox on the run. Fear me.

*Bluesy* out!

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

What on earth?

Yesterday my voice was perfectly fine, but my nose felt stuffy. Today, my nose is okay, but my voice is almost gone! What in the world?

Thank God I'm not going to present anything anymore. Today was the last presentation that required my voice! Whee!

Stats was okay, do-able. I shouldn't have lugged around my textbook today.

I wanted to skip Human Comm class today since everyone I know wanted to skip it, but I had to stay. Otherwise, I have to listen to my mum's long lectures instead.


I saw someone drinking chocolate milkshake the other day, and I got sad because I can't drink it. Damn you, bloody sore throat!

That's for depriving me of indulging in chocolates or things that are related to it! Including coffee!

Don't tell anyone I took the last Cadbury's Blueberry Yoghurt chocolate.

*Bluesy* out!

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

You took everything, while I was staring at the sun...

Have I been a bad friend? I know I saw things I mean when I'm angry in here, but at the end of the day, it just shows I'm human after all. Not some motionless robot [that will only prevail when it comes to funerals or weddings]. And that I expect you to feel empathy for change. Put yourself in my shoes, rather than putting yourself in your ballet-dancer shoes.

I think I'm going on and on about this "am I trying to hard to please everyone when I know I can't do it?" situation. I am sick of it. Sometimes you can't be happy too long, neither can you feel sad for too long. It's a horrible feeling. I just wished the earth would swallow me up when these instances arise, but I know I can't because I have to face my own demons. I'm NO coward. I wasn't raised to be one. I wished I wasn't so concerned about everyone else around me, because when that happens, I get worried for no apparent reason.

My head speaks a language I don't understand. It's called the language of betrayal and disgust.

Kind-hearted souls who speak this language, please be a dear and teach me a thing or two about it. I'll buy you Double Chocolate donuts from Dunkin Donuts.

I'm tired of feeling anything. I just wonder what it's like to feel nothing, like what the junkies say they feel when they take drugs.

Maybe I should just sleep on it. When you sleep, everything seems so far away.

No wonder sleeping is one of my talents.

I'll see you in my dreamtown...

I miss the days when I was an annoying 4-year-old. To hell with Barbies. I grew out of it the minute after I opened my birthday present [blame the parents for buying that for me, they claim I wasn't that girly!]. It's no wonder I can never understand the sentiments of being a girl.

I'm screwed up, right?
*****

Can anyone tell me why they think my dad is a comical person? My brother and I don't think so. His jokes aren't exactly funny. And all the stories he tells us are quite old and not exactly interesting [unless, of course, you want to hear him talk about how he cycled from KL to Klang and take photos in a cemetery...then that's real fun].
Me: My friend said you're very funny. You must be happy someone thinks you're funny.
Dad: Most people think I'm funny.
Me: Sometimes you are funny, not all the time.
Dad: NO.
*goes in front, where father is not around*
Me: My friend thinks pa's funny.
Bro: *amazed* No, he isn't! His jokes aren't funny!

You see? Even we don't think he's funny! Probably because we have heard the stories like a billion times already. Like the fact his dog died for his father. And his poser cat who refuses to shake hands with a person more than three times. His cat is a poser because it likes to pose in front of the camera! Cam-whore kitty!

Of course we aren't allowed to keep cats because Auntie Mas hates cats! The evil mummy!


Oh and today I saw the Frenchman [I see him everyday, true, but today his department window was open so I could see him clearly, instead of snooping from the door!]. And I heard him speak in English! *melts* So sexy!

Any Frenchman who can speak in proper, understandable English is HOT!

Arsene Wenger speaks good English, and I think he's quite...

I was just using him as an example!

Before I become a qualified psychologist, please bring me to meet one to treat me for my absolutely random spasticness.

*Bluesy* out!

Monday, July 24, 2006

Boo-hoo!

I missed classes for the first time. All because I was sick. My eyes hurt. *squints*


Funny. I didn't expect my dad to bring up up the issue of Peter Crouch during dinner last night.
Dad: Did you know that Peter Crouch dumped his girlfriend?
Brother: Yes.
Me: NO! WHERE DID YOU READ IT?
Dad: In the papers-lah! Either Star or NST.
Me: HE BROKE UP WITH THAT ABI CLANCY? YES!! DID THEY SAY WHY?
Dad: I didn't read it, just saw the headlines.
Me: WHY DIDN'T YOU READ IT? YOU SHOULD'VE READ IT. *gets excited, starts sending SMS to Aimee and Sylvien for confirmation*
Mum: Great. Now she thinks she has a chance with him.
Me: I DON'T MIND, HE'S HOT WHAT?
Brother: *stares* Eeew...
Me: THANK GOD HE BROKE UP WITH HER! THAT BIMBO SHOULD DIE! LINGERIE MODELS LIKE HER SHOULD DIE! SO UGLY! AND TO THINK SHE'S MY AGE!
Mum: She's jealous. Now she'll hint that they should go out together. What did your friend say?
Me: *reads Aimee's message* She took drugs and she should be with Mutu.
Mum: Haha!
Me: *reads Sylvien's message* She doesn't care about Crouchy, she cares if he her 'teddy bear' broke up with his girlfriend.
Mum: That's not going to happen. He's going to get married next year. Crazy girl!
Me: I DON'T CARE. I'M GLAD CROUCHY BROKE UP WITH HER! THAT UGLY BIMBO!

I KNEW DREAMING OF HIM WORKING WITH ME IN THAT CSI DEPARTMENT MEANT SOMETHING! I DON'T CARE IF I HAVE A FREAKING FEVER, I KNEW IT MUST HAVE MEANT SOMETHING WHEN I DREAMT OF IT!

Meanwhile England footballer Peter Crouch's girlfriend Abigail Clancy has said her dream is "to marry a footballer, get pregnant and then shop and have fun" for the rest of her life.
-The Daily Mail-


*slaps* THAT'S FOR FLASHING YOUR BOOBS TO THE INNOCENT SOULS THAT ROAM THE EARTH, YOU SLUTTY BIMBO!
*slaps* THAT'S FOR WASTING CROUCHY'S MONEY AND TRYING TO GET PREGNANT WITH HIS SPAWN!
*slaps* THAT'S FOR BEING A BITCH BY TEACHING INNOCENT GIRLS TO TAKE DRUGS!


I hate her. She and the abomination have to die. She's in denial. She keeps saying that she and Crouchy are "very much in love with each other and are still dating and that he knows about her cocaine-snorting life". Get a life-lah, you stupid bitch.

I'm going to sleep now. This is the last week I have to do any bloody presentation/test. Pray that I'm strong enough to fight the damn fever.

P/S: Crouchy's pic in yesterday's NST was so adorable! He's so cute. Even if he's like a skinny coconut tree.

*Bluesy* out!

Sunday, July 23, 2006

Sicky me...

So, the birthday party went well. I am telling you, kids are really a pain in the bum sometimes. They are so annoying. It's bad enough I have a mild fever, don't contribute more to it!

"Can I have the glue?"
"I want the big buttons"
"I want the big flowers"
"Why isn't my badge sticking on to my shirt?"

Dear God, if I had kids like that, I'd slap myself hard in the face.

Ruth is so adorable! She's still tiny, but much more adorable. And much more crankier, if I may add.

Food was obviously great, but no Kulfi Ice Cream. Evil people.


And since I got wet in the rain, my flu is creeping back slowly. Please, leave me alone. Attack me after my finals!

*****
I had this weird dream yesterday afternoon. I dreamt that I was working in some CSI department, and Crouchy worked there with me! That was confusing. No, I didn't watch CSI before I slept! It was weird...CSI department? I practically nearly failed my Biology and I'm working there?

Well, it wasn't actually Crouchy-lah. It was a guy who had Crouchy's face but he was much shorter than Crouchy.

This fever is really starting to get to my head.

*****
My dad said he liked the shirt we got him, but he didn't like the colour [we bought him white, since they were no other options, besides orange and green].

Mum to Dad:
"Happy Birthday!"
"Thank you"
"Bye bye"
"Why did you say bye bye?"
"I wanted to say okay, not bye bye!"

Me to Dad:
"Happy Birthday!"
"See you"
"Where are you going?"
"No, I wanted to say thank you. Not see you!"

They're both crazy.

I'm going to bed now. Wake me up for college tomorrow.

*Bluesy* out!

Saturday, July 22, 2006

DOA...

If my posts aren't as colourful as they usually are, it's because I have problems with my Blogger. Will only edit it later when it gets better. =S

I'm so relieved that my Human Comm assignment is over and done with! I only finished it at 8:30 AM today, half an hour before class began. I went to bed at 12 AM because of that freaking headache, and my mum was kind enough to type out the conclusion for me. I was sick, okay? Have some pity!

Was really lucky she helped out, if not I would have died. I mean it.

I came home and slept, because I was really tired. I deserve the rest.

Still sick, but surviving. All I need is good rest and lots of water. [Thank you, Dr. Chaudhary. I'll pay you with Chrysanthemum Tea. I'm broke okay?]

But at least I'm well enough to go for Ruth's 1st birthday party. She's one already? Wow, time does fly really fast even when you don't want it to!

We're going to Pride of India in Sri Hartamas [again!] tomorrow! The food is yummy! I'm so happy! I'll be taking pictures of food [and people, hopefully].

And Aunt Audrey's cookies and cakes are to die for! Whee!

I get excited when it comes to food. You should know me by now.

Bring on the Kulfi Ice Cream!

And it's my dad's birthday tomorrow! He turns 64! And yes, we haven't wrapped the present yet!

Was watching the Laureus Sports Award just now, and I saw Marcel Desailly! He rocks.

And they had to show THAT goal by Ronaldinho. The one he took on 3 Chelsea defenders and Petr Cech! Why don't you throw cranberry juice on my white T-Shirt while you're at it?

My arm still hurts. I can't wear long-sleeved shirts because when it rubs against the wound, it hurts. Even when I poke it, it hurts more than usual. Of course, when you're injured the last thing you want to do is add another injury there by poking it further.

Damien Duff is joining Newcastle United. Asier del Horno [he is NOT horny!] is leaving for Valencia. I'm dejected. Another one of my favourite blondes is leaving Stamford Bridge. Now I have no more blondes to worship in Chelsea. Can Arjen Robben be considered as a blonde?

No more blondes. That's sad. Knowing me, my list of gorgeous blondes is VERY small. 11 people only.

Was reading this Sinhalese book. Something about the hundreds years of them being in Malaysia. I found out that they named a housing area after my great-grandfather! I didn't know that we were THAT famous or wealthy.

And I wonder why my dad wasn't involved in the confectionery or jewellery industries? My uncle was a baker, and someone who is related to us is a jeweller. Those are a few of my favourite things! If he opened a confectionery shop, I'd be like Augustus Gloop. Very greedy. I am a sucker for sweet things. Jewelleries? Haha...I want more earrings.

The rain today was horrible. I told my parents this:
"The wind today is bad. If Kaka's wife walks on the road today, I bet you she'll be blown away by the wind! That skinny mini-wife of Kaka!"

My mum just laughed because she knows that his mini-wife is incredibly skinny. My dad doesn't even know who Kaka is, let alone Caroline Celico.

Since some MP said that we should import players for our Malaysian football team, my mum suggested we import Crouchy to play for MPPJ Selangor, and I suggested that Johor FC buy Cannavaro. My dad mentioned that we should buy Patrick Vieira and ask him to play for Selangor.

Sometimes I wonder from who did I get my crazy genes from. My mum or my dad?

Dennis Bergkamp's testimonial match is on tonight! I want to see Tomas Rosicky and the new Emirates Stadium. Bye Dennis Bergkamp. We'll miss you.

I can't wait for the EPL to begin! AND FOR MY FINALS TO FINISH! SHOPPING SPREE, HERE I COME!

*Bluesy* out!

Friday, July 21, 2006

Go die lah-you!

How is it that whenever I'm sick, I tend to be less dramatic than other people I know? I just say I'm sick and rest. Some people have to tell you out that they're sick and don't want to be disturbed, when in truth they don't respect me when I'm sick? They turn on the music so bloody loud when I ask them to and tell me to be quiet, but when I put on my music not that loud, they say to turn it off because they're sick. And worse still, they expect me not to shout or speak at home! I admit I'm loud at home, but hey, when I'm sick, 3/4 of the people who live here shout about and I try to be sensible because I know they won't change because I've lived them for the past 19 years. So why must you be any different from me?

I'm so bloody sick. Emotionally and physically drained. After this dumb report is done, I'm going to sleep the whole day and ignore any other on-goings in the world.

Oh, this is quite funny. Something my mum said.
"I'm sad"
"Why?"
"If I tell you, sure you scold me, so I won't tell you"
"I know. Cavannaro is joining Madrid, he SNUBBED Chelsea!"
"His name is Fabio Cannavaro, not Cavannaro"
"Cavannaro, and he is a carnivorous being, and now he's joining Real Madrid..."
"Zambrotta's going to Barcelona...why are all the people I like to see play for Chelsea not coming to Chelsea? Except for Shevchenko!"
"Oh, that baby! He got baby-face, so cute...Balak can die. Carnivore don't like you all!"

Hmmph...that evil auntie. At least she did admit Shevchenko is cute. We were watching this Champions League game [AC Milan-Bayern Munich game] last night and she went like like "Oh that's my friend Schweinsteiger! And there's that stupid Ballack. Kaka! Shevchenko, he looks adorable...got baby face! Why this Oliver Kahn don't know how to save the ball? He's still playing ah? I thought he retired already..."

My dad said Rooney looks like a chimpanzee! So evil. [Oh yeah, I replied your comment. Go read it]

Just watched one FA Cup Classic match. Chelsea-Arsenal. I saw Zola, Gudjohnsen, and JFH. It did make me sad, everytime I see Gudjohnsen's face, I think of Barcelona and that he's going to play for that team. In maroon and blue. =(

And my mum doesn't know who Zola is! She kept asking me, "Who's Zola? How come I've never heard of him? What happened to him? Got sold? Retired? Why? Oh, gone old already!"

My father wouldn't mind Becks play Arsenal. Apparently he thinks that when Henry falls or dives, the referee awards Arsenal a free-kick for Beckham to take and score! He thinks Becks is everything. Not in a gay way, of course.

The other day I asked whether if he thought Vieira was good-looking, and he said NO. I showed my mum FC's pic in today's paper and she said he's not that good-looking because he shaved his head! Hmmph...

Oh, I found these really beautiful pics. You really have to see them!

*squeals* Comelx [ignore the spelling, I've been using that word since Monday!] to a high!


I think this pic is beautiful. I love pics in black-and-white.


This pic is nice too. My Lah lecturer thinks I'm weird because I like black-and-white pics. She says I fall under the 'exceptional case' category.

Well, you know it's me. I AM EXCEPTIONAL.

Jealous space monkeys can go make friends with the abomination.

*Bluesy* out!

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Je ne regrette rien

Je ne regrette rien. I regret nothing. That's all there is to it. Call me a bitch or whatever you want, I don't care what you call me, because nothing you say can hurt me anymore. You can go suck on your stupid ice-lolly and die!

Life is so full of nonsense and knots. It's just a matter of time we get to unentangle them.

Do you know why I am doing much better than I was during my SPM? It's because everything is in English and more importantly, now they make me think critically. I hate seeing little kids having to memorise EVERYTHING they read in their textbooks ONLY to regurgitate it for a paper that will be thrown away for recycling later on. Where's the fun in learning that way?

And how is it possible that 3 of my friends who were the best of friends for years have all turned into spiteful bitches? Dear God, that's horrible! To think they've been friends for so long and because of something really stupid, they end up bitching about each other? Guess the friendship you three built for 4 years doesn't mean a damn thing to you all anymore.

Lah lecturer is right. Human beings are social animals. We tend to fight to get what we want to survive in life. We're NOT humans, we're animals.

For once she says something that makes sense.

Sree saw that pic of FC with a towel, and she called him TOWEL GUY! Hmmph...evil thing!

And that crazy ManUre fan asked me whether I was going to replace my blog layout with a pic of another guy [I know the 'another guy' she was referring to was FC]! Maybe, but not FC of course. Maybe Adam Brody. Maybe something artsy. Or maybe...something.

Nah-lah...since you know I like him VERY much, I'm going to post one pic for you. Don't complain!


Argh...HOT!


Eh, he looks nerdy! But VERY sexy.

Like that skinny Frenchman's friend, the one I like calling a nerd. He's cute.


Remember kids: We're all social animals.

*Bluesy* out!

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Last Concerto?

Keane is going to perform in Bangkok! Coldplay performed in Singapore! Robbie Williams is going to perform in November in Singapore!

Why are they NOT performing in Malaysia???

*shows angry face* PROTEST!

I want to see Keane in Bangkok!

But INXS is coming to KL...I want to go!

*****
Was watching the FIFA World Cup 2006 goals on TV just now. So many bloody good goals [think Philippe Senderos]! Aww...I miss World Cup! FC was so HOT!

Yes, I know I'm ham-sap. Tell me SOMETHING I DON'T already know!

I saw Crouchy also! He makes me laugh...

I saw Petr Cech in the Italy-Czech game. Felt so sad again.

I feel fat and quite mad. I actually missed 2 steps of the stairs in HELP and nearly fell flat on my face, but I managed to hold on to the railing, but my left arm hurts because I scraped it when I was holding on to the railing.

No more sexy, skinny arms. =(

The only part of me that I like is my arms. Skinny and long.

Now you know why I like people with skinny arms [Yes, Fabio Grosso has very nice arms, but I don't like him, just his arms].

Forgive me. I have been deprived of sleep, no thanks to my stupid Human Comm assignment.

Right now, all I can think about is FC and chocolates.


When YOU sent me this pic, my mum saw it and asked me who it was. When I told her it was the abomination, she just said: "Such a big mouth that abomination got! So ugly!".

Now whenever my mum says something that I don't really like, I tell her: "Don't talk to me, you and the abomination can be friends along with Crouchy's ugly girlfriend!".

Everytime she sees the song 'Buttons' by the Pussycat Dolls, she will ask me: "Is this that Cheryl Tweedy's band?"...sometimes she asks me that question too many times, I just pretend like I didn't hear it. But she does admit that Nicole Scherzinger has a hot body.

When I told her that Wayne Rooney was going to marry his girlfriend, she was like: "He's still young, why does he want to marry her at this age?"

Haha...she makes me laugh.

And she was the one who told me that FC is going to join Real Madrid. Yes, she knows I like him. My new love for 2006. Lampsy is still number one, but FC is Mr. 2006. Don't really remember who Mr. 2000 is [though I still think it's Ole Gunnar Solksjaer - my only favourite ManUre player]. Mr. 2001 would be Lee Ryan, Mr. 2002 is Christopher Gorham, Mr. 2003-2005 is Frank Lampard [though Adam Brody can be mentioned as Mr. 2004-2005] and the current Mr. 2006 is FC.

Don't get me wrong. I knew FC since World Cup 2002. It's just that in 2002, I never got a chance to see Italy play because of my uncle's death. It was really sad. So I never knew how good he was. Now, in 2006, I have seen him play and he's like a rock, like William Gallas and John Terry.

I never idolise some footballer because of his looks. Talents first, then looks. I think Ribery rocks, even when half of the world thinks he's ugly when I don't. Even his wife thinks he rocks.

Yes, he's married.


Oh no, Lampsy hasn't been forgotten. As long he doesn't name his son Loco Patrick, I love him.

*Bluesy* out!

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Don't press the panic button!

Stats quiz was okay...I felt stupid when I answered the first question. I didn't know what the question was about! =S But then after confirming with other smart kids [I'm NOT smart, just lucky!] I felt relieved that my first answer was the same as theirs.

She was right! 4 hours to study 4 chapters of Stats is enough. I studied at 4-5 PM for Chapter 6 [because I wanted to watch Monk and The Simpsons!], and from 10-1 AM for Chapters 7, 8, and 9. She is a genius. She knows us too well.

Well, with the exception of what she said of Brazil, of course. [She said that we shouldn't waste our sleep to watch Brazil play, because everyone knows they will win! Haha...at the end of the day, they lost to France!].

*****
You know how I've always wished I was a born a boy because of the horrible colour of clothes and things that are in line with it [note to self: come up with a list of why I should've been born a boy]? I found a new reason. I hate being a girl because we love to bitch about each other.

By now, some of you know that I don't forgive easily. It's just me. If you hurt me badly, I won't to have anything to do with you. When women fight, we don't make up. We basically bitch, and after the fight we have vendettas at the back of our heads. Of course, it depends on what the fight is about. But even for the smallest reason we fight and we hate each other immediately.

Men have EVERYTHING easy. When they fight, the can kiss and make up within five minutes [or less]. Then don't have any stupid vendettas, instead they don't care. They don't bitch about other guys. They fight and then they are all okay with each other, because frankly they don't know why they fought in the first place.

I told you, I must have been a boy in my past life! Well, I know Malays don't believe in reincarnation but I feel like it's true.

*****
She was talking to me like nothing happened. I can't pretend anymore. I'm dying inside because of all this acting. I'm not like ST. I can never forget and never forgive.

How do you expect me to go back to the time before all this shit happened knowing that it did happen? I'm NO fake. I can't pretend to be happy and forget that it ever happened like you! You don't have my trust and respect anymore. I just felt like stabbing myself when you talked to me, VERY NICELY. After all that drama you caused that day, you expect me to forgive you? NO WAY!

I may appear like a stupid little girl that people can just manipulate me to get what they want, but I'm not THAT stupid to see all these lies. When she sat with us today, I just wanted to run away and sit somewhere else. I hate being a bitch, but I'm still a wounded tiger. I can't be really forgiving because when that happens, everyone will climb over my head. After what happened with my cousin's family [the incident with the stolen jewelleries and 'lost' shirt], I've learnt never to let anyone get to my head. That's how I broke up with my 3rd ex [who shall remain nameless in this blog]. I've grown up.

Don't try to be nice with me. You're not getting back my trust, friendship, and respect. You can go around lying to the world, but NOT me.

This is why I hate being a girl. Too much emotion all racked up in one body.

*****
I need to buy a new stapler, since my new one is lost without trace. Sigh...

Finals is like in two weeks time. Then, my one-year journey of seeing myself taller in more ways all comes to an absolute end; and my 2-month journey of doing absolutely nothing comes to an awesome start.

My dad said we might be going to Aussie for a holiday. I haven't been on a holiday since my SPM ended [One-day road-trips to Melaka or Johor are NOT counted as holidays! Even the trip to Trolak was NOT a holiday because it was a leadership camp!] so I DEFINITELY deserve a break. *fingers crossed* I got most of the stuff I wanted [digital camera, Chelsea biography, ASTRO] after each semester, so after my third semester, I want a holiday. Either that, or I want to go on a shopping spree. Better yet, if I don't get any of those, I prefer to sleep.

Good news is I get to spend more time at home and with my friends that will be leaving the country soon. Swarna's leaving to Indonesia while Sham's going back to Russia.

Speaking of Sham, I went to her house today and it was fun to see her! She can actually cook and she bought me a doll-in-another-doll thing. Can't remember what they're called but it's lovely! I've always wanted one of those!

She can cook and she's a vegetarian! Would you believe this girl?

I agree with her mum and sister. She won't last long as a vegetarian. Even if that's her resolution.

Why am I being SO negative? I should be supportive! Just because I denounce vegetables altogether, doesn't mean I must disrespect a person who believes in eating vegetables!


This looks gay. Oh Petr, why did you have to be photographed doing such an act? Eh, he's got big arms! But still skinny. =)

Cannavaro's going to Real Madrid. Sigh...we didn't pray hard enough now, did we?

I'm going to eat fruits to entertain myself. Can't keep eating McDonalds' Chocolate Sundae with extra chocolate.

I want an Italian player in the Chelsea team!

Oh wait, we got Carlo Cudicini already, so no need for one.

I'm sad. Don't talk to me. =(

*Bluesy* out!

Monday, July 17, 2006

Nerdy...

I wear glasses. I carry books in my hand. I get reasonably good grades. I can be klutzy with my stuff. And I can do that handsign from Popular [will upload that pic once I get someone to take the pic for me!]. USING BOTH HANDS.

This could ONLY mean one thing: I AM TURNING INTO A NERD.

And I desperately need help. I haven't studied anything [anything sounds harsh, let's say a bit] of Statistics and I have a bloody quiz tomorrow. She knows we haven't studied a thing, and she did this on purpose! At first she said it was going to be on Thursday, then she said Wednesday, now it's Tuesday, which is TOMORROW.

How do you think I'm going to study Chapters 6, 7, 8, 9 in ONE BLOODY NIGHT?

*cries* I'm dead.

And she said that 4 hours is enough to cram in all FOUR chapters.

NOT ENOUGH!!!!

And today, brilliantly enough, I left my wallet at home. Of all the days in the world, the security guards in HELP asked me for my ID! Hmmph...and of all the days in the world, my security money of RM10 I keep in my handphone pouch was not with me. All because my mum borrowed the money to pay for the eggs she bought from our neighbour [who sells eggs]. So I was broke. =( ST was kind-hearted enough to lend me RM10 for lunch. I was planning on skipping lunch though.

Before you ask me any weird questions, yes. I KEEP RM10 IN MY HANDPHONE POUCH FOR SECURITY REASONS IN CASE I FORGET MY WALLET. THAT RM10 WILL ONLY BE USED IN TIMES OF EMERGENCIES, AND NOT FOR BUYING EARRINGS ON AN IMPULSIVE-SHOPPER MOMENT.

*****
Apparently Damien Duff is moving to Spurs! No, Duffy! DON'T GO! DON'T LEAVE ME!!!

Oh well, better Spurs than ManUre. In fact, if he leaves, he can join any other team BUT ManUre.

And Jermain Defoe better NOT join ManUre! Please DON'T go, Jermain, you'll only ruin your life!

Why is everyone telling me that Fabio Cannavaro is going to Chelsea [they've been hearing it everywhere - radio, TV, papers]? I thought he was going to Real.

Don't believe anything until you see it with your own eyes.

And this is SO funny. Even if I don't understand a word of Vietnamese, I think it's funny!

John Terry = Keanu Reeves? Haha...I want to watch The Lake House!

*****
And what is SO great about Siti Nurhaliza getting married to THAT mysterious Datuk K? I knew it was him all along since the news of it were being published by alomst every newspaper. Who cares if she's Malaysia's number one entertainer since Sudirman or P. Ramlee [my parents thought they were legends, you know-lah those two!]? I don't care. Why would I care if someone is getting married while there are millions of people dying everyday due to AIDS, malnutrition, and war? All that money can be used to feed those sad souls around the world. Is it any wonder why whenever I see kids in Somalia looking very ill, I just cry my eyeballs out?

Why does every TV station make it such a big news when she's getting married? 15 minutes worth of her news on TV is NOT worth it. I'd rather watch paint dry rather than see her in the news. So annoying.

Yes, she's a multi-millionairess, and I'm NOT. But Paris Hilton is a multi-millionaires too, and I'm NOT jealous of her.

*****
Oh, was watching Simpsons earlier and thought that Lisa's rant about dolls reminded me of me. I had a Barbie doll and never played with it again since I thought it was the ugliest thing I've ever seen. =S

"Thinking makes you have wrinkles" Har-dee-bloody-har-har.

*Bluesy* out!

Sunday, July 16, 2006

Things that annoy you in the morning...

1. Some stupid TV drama that shows a girl acting all 'manja manja sayang sayang' with her significant other. I think it's very cheesy. Yes, I'm boyfriend-less and I don't get the joys of being in love. I'm spiteful and bitter. Hello, I had boyfriends to understand what love was all about. So think before you say I'm super-spiteful!
2. My mum won't let me watch Mr.Bean because she thinks he's stupid [though I have to admit that his antics are really stupid]. How is it that my dad and I are the ONLY 2 sane people who thinks Mr.Bean is funny? Hmmph...at least it's better than watching Senario, don't you think?
3. Finding out that the abomination is 2 years older than Frank Lampard. WTF? Oh you ugly thing that my mother resents, I hope you die. [Sylvien said he loves older women, so I've got no chance to be with him. The evil girl!]
4. Finding out that 19-year-olds get all the best guys. WHY KAKA? WHY PETER CROUCH? WHY HAVE YOU DONE THIS TO ME?
5. My mum telling me that I'm jealous of Abigail Clancy [Crouchy's very ugly and slutty girlfriend]. I'm not jealous, just annoyed!

I'm lazy to even do my Human Comm assignment and it's due next Saturday, which is like *counts days* 6 days more!

Argh! I am dead! Help me...

Oh and my mum just asked me who the guy on my MSN display pic was. When I told her it was Fabio Cannavaro, she just sighed.

She must think I'm obsessed with him.

The other day we saw Crouchy on TV, and I told her I like him, she asked me: "Since when? I thought you hated him!". Haha...now she thinks I'm mad because I told her I want to marry Aaron Lennon.

At least she knows some footballers now. Then she won't go round referring Eidur Gudjohnsen as 'the one with the yellow hair'.

I miss him. At least he went to Barca and NOT ManUre. My mum thought he went to Manure. Yech! I don't fancy seeing him in the all-new ugly ManUre jersey, with AIG as their new sponsor.

Rooney can't sleep without the vacuum on. If he can't find a vacuum, he gets a fan or a hairdryer! I bet he lived in Malaysia he wouldn't dare to do such a thing with the new electricity rates. He's rich...so to him, money isn't an issue.

If he married you, you would be dying inside when he does that.

*Bluesy* out!

Saturday, July 15, 2006

Unwell

*feels forehead* I think I have a fever. Quite sad. I've been out just now to KLCC to get some stuff for dad and my best friend. Headache, I tell you. It's SO hard to buy anything for my dad. You try buying him a shirt, I think it's a lot easier to get the shirt stitched for him. So picky.

I think it's unfair if people say David Beckham is suffering from OCD and he's psycho. Because I feel at times, we're our own Adrian Monk. We tend to get obsessed over every little thing. Like my mum. She's obsessed about what shirt I wear over my jeans. My dad is obsessed about getting rid of lizards [he goes ballistic when he sees one!] and what kind of shirts he like to buy. My brother? I think he's obsessed about his Japanese anime. Me? Haha...I'll tell you things I think you people should know.

1. I have two RM 50 notes [RM 100] as my security money. Once I use any one of the RM 50 note, I freak out. Because I know I might start using the spare change which will only leave me with RM 50, and as a result, I use that money when I'm short of cash, therefore leaving me with no money for myself at all.
2. I hate people using my stuff, especially my mug, my soap and shampoo, and toothbrush. I get very cranky.
3. I cannot stand pink stuff. This afternoon while we were at KLCC, we went to the children's floor at ISETAN, and I got stressed up looking at the many variations of Barbie dolls, which were in PINK. I felt my head spin...
4. I buy blue stuff because I think it brings me luck. Even if I wear something read or brown or black or green or any other colour, I must have at least one blue item to go with the outfit. Otherwise, no one goes anywhere.
5. I collect cans and bottles. I got mad when my dad drank my Sarsi and threw the can away!

I don't think you can consider that as being obsessed, but hey, we are all obsessed about how we do certain things. So in a small way, don't you think we also suffer from OCD?


And I hate going to shopping malls. You can see kids who are blessed with awful fashion styles, kids who say FCUK as "fe-chuk", kids who are rude, and kids who work at some shop who don't entertain customers but decide to entertain themselves by fussing about how they look and staring at the mirror, leaving us the poor customers unattended.

I saw this original Chelsea and England jersey. Both cost RM 199 and RM 249 respectively. There were so many lovely shirts, but I didn't have my Finance Minister with me. *frowns*

Anyway, I'm just lucky, not smart. So, for the love of God, stop saying I'm humble and the likes. It really gets under my skin.

Anyway, since I'm having a fever, I'll just annoy you people further.

Aww...ain't that cute? JT and Crouchy. I love them very much. I love JT. I love Crouchy [he's okay what compared to Rooney?].


Nah...satisfied? Stupid girl! Don't get all horny now! You mad annoying cow I have for a best friend of 15 years! Grr...That goes for other kids who are viewing this pic. Control those raging hormones in your body!


Oh wow...HOT! Even if his shorts is light blue and have daisy prints on them, he still looks like God!


He looks like a rugby player here! But still HOT!

Okay, you know I am obsessed about skinny and tall guys, right? But FABIO CANNAVARO is not tall or skinny. You might be asking me, why on Earth am I in love him? Truth is, he may be short and not so skinny [I absolutely dislike guys with rippling muscles like gayboy!], but he's NOT blonde [I only like 10 blondes in my life...not that many, I know] and I think he's a great defender, that's what makes him even hotter. I told you, I admire a player for his skills, then I make them very *oh-you-are-so-godly-I-want-to-have-an-affair-with-you*. That sums it up.

I never liked JT at first, but then he became quite a hero for us, so now I'm in love with him. Eh, that didn't sound right. It should've been I admire him.

*Credits to Yasmin for the last two pics*


In the morning, I had this weird vision of Paris Hilton and Frank Lampard together. I mean, they were frolicking on the beach a la Stars Are Blind.

It wasn't exciting, I should be thinking that I was there with him, and not that Paris! Grrr....

This fever is doing me more harm than I thought.

*Bluesy* out!

Friday, July 14, 2006

Is it any wonder?

Excuse my rather mad post earlier. Was really bored.

Got to college quite late today. Stopped at the board to check my Human Comm marks, only to find my name wasn't there! Is it any wonder why I should feel afraid?

What if my answer script got missing?
What if I accidentally took back the answer script back home?
What if he forgot to mark it?
What if I did very badly that's why my marks weren't displayed?
What if he didn't like me because apparently I never pay attention in class?

So I get to class and ask him what happened to my marks. He said he'll check it when he gets back to the other block and I should know my marks by 11 or so.

And sure enough, the new set of results were out and at 12:30 PM I checked it, and I saw my name there this time. I got 17 out of 20.

That was unexpected. I thought I'd only get 10 and below, knowing how badly I did it! Of course YOU of all people would know HOW I actually answer my questions. Rather rubbishically. So getting 17 is really shocking.

Last-minute studying helps, even when you write utter nonsensical answers.

***
I think I am going to scare the future "Mr.I'm-Rowena's-boyfriend" off because I tend to argue on petty things AND I say things that I don't really mean [which is why I wished I was born with a rewind button on some part of my body]. Even if I do successfully get one, I want him to be a sensitive and football-mad guy.

***
Guess what, happy people? I ate fruits for lunch today! A slice of papaya and a packet of watermelons! I want to stay fit, healthy, and wealthy!

I am saving the money to buy the books for my birthday.

And of course, my parents were shocked when I told them I ate fruits for lunch.

[Well, I didn't tell them that I ate fruits for lunch. I told them I had fried rice and fruits for lunch. I have to say that because if I don't my dad will screw me inside out!]

Is it any wonder why I feel less dumber than I already am?

P/S: I'm not as stupid as YOU think I am.

*Bluesy* out!